I am going to include some words from a sweet Mrs. Younger that I know. We had lunch a few months ago, and I was so impressed that she lovingly received the difficult words I said to her and did not get up and throw a glass of water on me. She has one of the most beautiful singing voices I have ever heard. Without even trying, when she sings, her glowing face and authentic spirit bring you in to a place of worship. For now, she sits silently next to her husband. Her words:
"When I was nineteen, God called me out of singing opera and
into music ministry. I was thrilled! I started using my voice in ministry as He
provided opportunities. Over the last nineteen
years, His anointing on my voice has continued to increase as I have learned
how to get out of the way and glorify Him.
Twelve years ago, I got married. I, like most women raised in post-feminist
America, had no clue what God’s structure of authority in marriage looked
like. I operated independently of my
husband’s authority – especially when it came to my calling. As far as I was concerned, that was between
God and me and had little to do with him.
Over the years, God showed me how to respect my husband more
and more. He and I both did the hard
work to develop a God-honoring marriage.
It was EXCRUCIATING, but we loved God more and wanted to please Him and
love each other. The things I was
learning during this intense Holy-Spirit schooling translated into more wisdom
and effectiveness in marriage and also ministry. Even after all this progress, my sweetie still
wasn’t very supportive of the latter.
Why would a man who loves God fail to encourage his wife to
honor Him with her life? I wanted him to
enjoy it with me, but he wouldn’t. The
best I got was “Sounds good, Babe,” when I shared a song I had just written or,
“Good job,” when I sang. Many from the
congregation would come to me overwhelmed by what God had done through whatever
song I had sung, but there was little buy in from my own husband. Wasn’t he called to invest in me and help me
reach my potential? I didn’t understand
and it REALLY hurt, but I let it go for the sake of our new found peace and
unity.
In November of 2012, God called me out of music ministry for
a season. As I sang from the congregation
for the first time in several years, He began a new thing in me. My spirit started to fly during the musical
part of our worship. I found myself
singing louder, more intensely. I was
often on my knees or even my face in awe of God. I knew I was being prepared to lead
worship. I received comment after
positive comment from fellow worshipers and even our music minister.
God assured me that He was the One doing the new thing, but I
could tell that my husband wasn’t pleased.
I decided that he must be rebelling against God in this, so I continued
to worship this way after he voiced his objections and even refused to sit with
me. How could it be that God would bring
growth and freedom to me and expect me to just sit on it for the sake of
submitting to my husband? Eventually, I stopped
going into the worship service to avoid the pain. Well, that didn’t work for long. I needed corporate worship, so I had to deal
with this.
I sought out my friend, Mrs. Older, who I knew would tell me
the truth. She told me that God would
not bless any ministry of mine that I had not submitted to my husband. She said that God had established the
structure of authority and that He wouldn’t violate His own rules. She told me that the Person I didn’t trust
was Him. We agreed that I should sit
quietly with my husband during worship and pray for Him to fix this.
We attend a traditional, organized church where the culture
of worship is subdued. In this
environment, my dynamic was distracting my husband from worshiping and
connecting with God for himself. He
needed me to support him!
I was showing him that I didn’t trust him or care about his needs by my
refusal to follow his lead.
He wasn’t rebelling against God, he was refusing to enable my rebellion. How could I expect him to invest in my
calling when I wouldn’t trust him with it or even consider him in the
process? It is my husband’s charge to encourage and develop my spiritual
potential. When I decided that he wasn’t
trustworthy to do that, I usurped his authority and took on a responsibility
that wasn’t mine. In doing so, I was
causing my own pain.
I have come to understand that even though God established
my calling before I met my husband, He still intends to guide it through his leadership. I have learned that it is possible that God would expect me to set aside my own freedom
for the sake of submitting to my husband’s authority and putting his needs
first (Philippians 2:3-4, Galatians 5:13, Ephesians 5:21-24). It is perfectly scriptural and reasonable for
my Creator and Savior to ask me to “lay down my life” for this man who is His
gift to me.
Our marriage is greater than either one of us. It is a living, breathing oneness that God
created for HIS PURPOSE! Because of my
self-important attitude, we were disjointed and therefore seriously
handicapped. God will not use me in
ministry. He will use our union.
In the meantime, I worship with freedom when I am alone with
God. I dance, sing, cry, shout, and bow
before Him in humility. I am trusting
Him to provide opportunities and lead through my husband. I am enjoying the deeper intimacy and trust
my submission is creating in our marriage.
And I am resting in the protection, provision, and covering God has given
me through him.
When I think about the love, creativity, and perfect wisdom
with which God paired me with my husband, I am in awe. All I can be is grateful, humbled, and
repentant. It is my joy to honor and
trust God by honoring and trusting my husband.
I am excited and hopeful when I think about the adventure we will live
as we move forward together as one in Christ! "
God is not finished with her or her gifts.
And He is not finished with you or yours.
OBEY His Word.
And then watch Him work.
Thank you for the ten million bazillion of you signing up to receive this via email. Are you friends telling you about it? Where are y'all coming from?
XO,
Mrs. Older
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