Wednesday, May 22, 2013


You want your husband to be "the spiritual leader" in your home.  That's what I've heard hundreds and hundreds of women say to me over the years.
I have come to think that what many women REALLY want is a husband who goes to church, has Godly morals, teaches the children what the Bible says, and treats her in a way that shows he is willing to die for her.  She also wants him to have a good job, she wants to live in a nice house, and have enough money to buy stuff she wants to buy when she wants to buy it.  I think this picture is closer to what many wives REALLY want.

There's nothing wrong with this, as long as you aren't expecting your husband to be Paul The Apostle and Donald Trump at the same time.

And speaking of....I don't see the term "spiritual leader of the home" anywhere in the Bible.   I see the CONCEPT, but not the words.   I see a description of a man of God.  I see men whose MAIN concern was to do the will of their Father in heaven.   I see that example in Jesus.

I see Abraham who told Sarah, "God told me to leave our home, our families, and every single familiar thing and go to the Promised Land."
"God told me to leave our home and go to the Promised Land."
"The Promised Land."
"Where is the Promised Land."
"I don't know."
"How do we get there?"
"I don't know."
"When will we arrive there?"
"I don't know."
"How will we know when we've gotten there?"
"I don't know." 
"Why can't we just stay here?"
"I don't know."

Do you really want a man of God as a husband? Or do you want a man who goes to church regularly?  They are not always the same thing.

Do you want a man who is fervently, daily seeking the will of God more than the will of woman?  Because that's what a man of God does.  He seeks God.   

He reads God's Word as a roadmap to life... and as a mirror of his spiritual health.. and not just to get his "devotions" done for the day. 
Do you want a man who might hear God tell him to give the money you've been saving for a new pool to a ministry for orphans on another continent?
Do you want a man who is willing to spend time in his prayer closet instead of spending time watching TV?
Do you want a man who loves God so fervently that he doesn't allow his family to compromise about morals no matter how silly his standards might appear to your neighbors?
Do you want a man who is diligent about what his children watch on TV and listen to on the radio? Are you willing to allow your children to be different than their friends because your husband doesn't allow some things that other parents allow?
Do you want a man who loves his wife as Christ loves the Church and does whatever he can to keep his home focused on Jesus and what it means to truly FOLLOW Him?

God doesn't call everyone to sell everything and move to Outer Kookamonga to feed orphans. But are you creating the kind of environment in your marriage in which your husband knows that if God told him to do that... he has a wife who would encourage him and follow him even if she was kinda scared? Are you the kind of wife who is so tuned in to hearing God's still small voice that if your husband said something like that, you'd already know in your heart it was God's will?

God's will for most of us is to stay right where we are doing just what we're doing.  Being weird is not the same thing as being holy.
A man of God knows God will never call a man to do something that will harm his family.  But that isn't the same thing as God calling a man to get out of his comfort zone. 

Behind every man of God who is seeking God's will first - is a woman of God doing the same thing.
Do you really, really want your husband to be a man of God?
Then you really, really need to want to be a woman of God whose first concern in life is doing the will of her Father in heaven.
A man of God needs a woman of God at his side.
Are you?
If not... hold the comments about wanting a spiritual leader in the home until you are the spiritual follower you are supposed to be.
It isn't difficult to hear from God.
It simply requires a desire to hear and taking the time to call on the Lord.
"Call to Me and I will answer and show you great and unsearchable things you do not know."  Jeremiah 33:3
IF you call.
He will answer.
Mrs. Older.
Leave your comments below...


  1. Mrs. Older!!!! Such wonderful words of wisdom. Thank you!!!!!!

    1. No.. thank you for leaving such a wonderful comment !

  2. Mrs. Older, your words always hit me right in the heart and they are so simple to understand. I am a women's ministry leader in our church. The world is getting scary and I am so tired of women leaders whose main concern is selling their books, or booking a gig at our church just to get the honorarium. I am tired of hearing jokes instead of the meat of God's Word. I wish there were more women out there like you and I find it amusing that you are not seeking any recognition for who you really are and what you really do. You offer this advice with not other motive but to help those of us reading these words. thank you.

    1. I do sometimes speak at women's events... and when I do.. people will often give me honorariums.. so I don't want you to think I am like the Joan of Arc of speakers. But I get your drift and I do agree that while it's nice to be entertained..women need real help in real life. Thank you for posting and thank you for being willing to be a women's ministry leader in your church. I'm sure the women appreciate you.

  3. I know, once again, that this blog is for the ladies, but I sure do believe there is wisdom for men to be found here too.

  4. Love this and "sharing." Every young mom and wife needs a Mrs. Older to say these things!! Thank you :)

  5. i just read a few of the blogs and would very much like to share something the Lord revealed to me a few months ago.
    Hebrews 13:7 Obey your spiritual leaders, and do
    what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are
    accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with
    sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit.

    What struck me and awakened me anew was the 7B-part of the verse,"
    Give them reason to do this (watching over my soul) with joy and not
    sorrow. Why?
    Because this does not just apply to Pastor's watching over their
    flock's souls...this also pertains to every spiritual leader in the
    home the husband, father..
    It gave me a new appreciation for the task my husband is called to by
    God and my responsibility to make his job pleasant, rather than a chore!

    Tight in this responsibility is certainly pleasing him with the way I look and keep my body in shape. However, whenever I search the word for scriptures underlining the meaning of a godly woman I see over and over how crucial our godly character is to the Lord.
    Proverbs 31 certainly depicts this well, then in 1 Peter 3 the word is very clear on the emphazis of a gentle and quiet spirit, not the outward adornment of the body. ...but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the IMPERISHABLE BEAUTY of a gentle and quiet spirit, WHICH IN GOD'S SIGHT IS VERY PRECIOUS."