Unless you are ACTUALLY living on another planet, you have heard fifty-three billion people give you the same advice about marriage...."communication is the key." That's a nice thing for people to say, but when two people have to actually communicate.......well... that's another story.
You WANT him to hear your heart... but he doesn't. You WANT him to understand you and your needs... but he doesn't. You WANT to understand him.. but he seems, more and more, to be from another planet.
It is at this point in many marriages, that I have observed so many Mrs. Younger's make a MAJOR MISTAKE about the key to communication....
YOU START TALKING ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND.
I am NOT REFERRING to receiving Godly counsel from your pastor or a marriage counselor....or a praying friend who loves you and your husband... and... where your motive is to get useful, God-centered HELP to BUILD your marriage... no.. no...
I'm talking about those Mrs. Youngers who complain about Mr. Younger to their girlfriends, to their co-workers, to their mothers....................with the motive to ... well... to COMPLAIN. Why? It feels good to be able to talk about what is bothering you.
To talk ABOUT him when it seems like it does no good to talk TO him.
To have others commiserate with you...
it is not making God very happy.
For two reasons.
In the 10th chapter of 1 Cornithians... Paul gives examples of what the Israelites did that displeased God. He says they were an example for us. AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT DISPLEASED GOD.
And He isn't putting CONDEMNATION on the Corinthians (or us)... but simply saying... "Hey... these are the things that tripped up the Israelites... so pay attention.. because they will trip you up also if you're not careful."
And he lists the sins of worshipping idols, sexual immorality, revelry (partying), testing God... and then.. right there in that list of "Things That Are Bad and Not Good According To God" is the word..
A fuller definition of the word "grumble" means to "murmur"; to say anything against in a low tone"; "confer secretly together"; "those who discontendedly complain."
Yes. Complaining. Grumbling.
God sent a destroying angel to the people who did.,
Evidently, grumbling and murmuring can destroy His people as much a sexual immorality, idol worship and being a party animal. Behind the scenes complaining...murmuring... is such an overlooked, accepted.. YET destructive action that God chose to REMOVE THE PEOPLE WHO DID IT in an attempt to KEEP IT FROM DESTROYING HIS PEOPLE...
IT WILL DESTROY A MARRIAGE. SLOWLY. METHODICALLY. ONE ANGRY, COMPLAINING WORD AT AT TIME. Of course, we don't think we are destroying our own marriage when we complain about it... because, well, because we aren't being sexually immoral, we don't worship idols, we don't go out and get drunk or high on drugs and act like a party animal..
about our husband to anyone who will listen.
It happens. We don't need to jump off a bridge if we've done it. We simply identify it as destructive and ask the Holy Spirit.. (YES., it will require OUTSIDE HELP FROM ANOTHER PLACE)... to help us to control our tongue.
"Do everything without grumbling or arguing" - Philippians 2:14
Yup. Read the entire chapter for yourself.
COMPLAINING to OTHER PEOPLE...MEANS... you aren't humbling yourself to speak to the ONLY ONE who has the POWER to do ANYTHING about your broken, frustrated heart.
God is not required to heal your marriage - but He does promise to HEAL YOU.
Your husband and his lack of love, his lack of wanting to please God or you, his lack of understanding is something HE will have to answer to GOD about...
Having a husband who doesn't get you, doesn't care about you, doesn't listen to you, doesn't speak to you...............
BREAKS A WIFE'S HEART.
The only One who can heal your heart is God.
Talk to Him.
The whole reason Jesus came to earth was to HEAL THE BROKENHEARTED.
Take the time to talk to Him.
He is listening.
He will speak.
OK.. this is getting too long.
Thank you for your emails to me about this blog.
I am in awe of how God is healing all of us...,