Friday, January 30, 2015

SPEAKING OF PRAYER

Speaking of prayer…I am familiar with a movie coming out in  August.. from The Kendrick Brothers.. who have produced the movies "Facing The Giants", "Fireproof", "Courageous" and now
"WAR ROOM"

The War Room is the Prayer Closet.  I have seen the advanced screenings of this movie. It is powerful. I think that even just this short introductory clip will inspire you. 

Click on this link if you would like to see the clip.


Love you,
Mrs. Older

Saturday, January 24, 2015

RAISING THE DEAD vs RAISING YOUR KIDS - PART FOUR

(Yes.. yes.. (sigh)... Part Four about Prayer.  Boring?  If so.. you are exactly the woman who should keep reading.) 

Bottom line about what's important in life is that life is about relationships:  A wife's relationship with her husband.  Her children.  Her husband's family.  Her family.  Her friends.  Her neighbors. Her co-workers.  It takes a wise woman to know how to juggle all those relationships so that no one feels unloved, or unwanted, or less important. 
The tragic reality, from my limited experience, is that while we focus on those "temporary" relationships... the eternal relationship with God is often relegated to the back burner of our lives.  We go to church.  We expect the pastor to say something that moves or encourages us in our walk with God.  We expect the children's church workers to inspire our kids, and the youth pastor to inspire our teens.

That's not the scenario described in God's Word.  True, you should be connected to the Body of Christ.  You should offer your spiritual giftedness to it.  But your church involvement should be a RESULT of your OWN relationship with God.  You belong to God so you connect to His Body.  You are not connected to His Body just because you go to church.

We spend our lives trying to please our husbands, our kids, our boss, our family and friends.  We feel neglected when those people don't care about pleasing us.  It isn't wrong to want to be kind and loving to other people.. but do we ever wonder what pleases God? Not really? 

The modern Mrs. Younger is usually too exhausted from trying to please everyone else who wants something from her to care about what pleases God.
Who has the time to figure out what pleases God?
OK.. so I'll take the time for you... What pleases God?

FAITH.

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."   Hebrews 11:6

What does that verse say to you?

More next time.

Love you,
Mrs. Older

P.S.  THANK YOU to those of you who send me loving, sweet, encouraging emails ("awordtothewives@gmail.com")  I try to answer every one.

AND.......please encourage your friends to sign up to receive this via email.  Upper right corner of the page.

Saturday, January 17, 2015

RAISING THE DEAD vs RAISING YOUR KIDS - PART THREE

OK.. so let's be real. Do you really believe that you can make it through life on this crazy planet....have a great marriage........raise good kids......find peace that passes human understanding.. know God's will in challenging situations...and be a woman who hardly ever PRAYS???? YOU DO???  I'm speechless.

Do you think a relationship with God begins with a prayer you prayed one day to "accept Him" and can be sustained primarily through your regular attendance  at a one hour, void-of-much-praying church service in a church somewhere?  YOU DO??? I'm speechless.

I would be doing less than my mentoring best if I didn't spend a few blogs talking to my sweet Mrs. Younger's about prayer.  

Because... and read the next sentence carefully.... YOU CANNOT OVERCOME WHAT LIFE IS GOING TO THROW AT YOU, SWEET MRS. YOUNGER, UNLESS AND UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU MUST BE A WOMAN OF PRAYER.   THAT'S THE TRUTH. 

LET ME CLARIFY......There's nothing wrong with a one-word panic prayer "HELP!"  God hears those prayers. God answers those prayers. God's attention is drawn to every desperate prayer from every desperate child of His.  But that's not His idea of what it means for your "house"  to be a "house of prayer."

Prayer is what I'm talking about.  I'm talking about the steady, constant, unshakeable, powerful walk that supersedes your talk.  That kind of WALK makes people TALK.... I'm talking about being the woman people ask to pray.. instead of being the woman who is constantly making panic-driven requests from other people who pray....in your time of crisis.   The truth is that you cannot be taught prayer.  YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT.

I'm not going to list every verse in the Gospels about Jesus and HOW he prayed. But evidently the disciples saw something in the way HE prayed that caused them to ask Him, "Lord teach US to pray."    These are men whose lives revolved around the synagogue.  These were RELIGIOUS MEN.  And YET.. there was SOMETHING ABOUT THE PRAYER LIFE OF JESUS that was NEW.  AND POWERFUL.
 
God will speak to you as you allow Him the time to do so.  Prayer has to be a two way street.  You speak to God.  He speaks to you. Some people are wary of someone who says you need to hear God speak to your as you pray.  And rightly so.  God will never say something in prayer that contradicts His Word. The Bible.

HOWEVER... Jesus... who IS The Very Word Of Very God... and Who wrote the Bible through the Holy Spirit... STILL TOOK TIME TO DEVOTE HIMSELF TO PRAYER. 

IF JESUS - the ONLY BEGOTTEN SON OF GOD - was DEVOTED to prayer.... where did we get the idea that we don't have to be? 

And how in God's name did we become a group of people who think prayer is ONLY ABOUT giving God your list of "requests"???   Read the previous blog if that's what you think.. and that's what you do.

I suspect most of you will yawn through this series.  I feel God has placed some stuff on my heart for me to TYPE... lol...  I pray the Holy Spirit will give you the desire to overcome the yawn.

NEXT TIME.
KEEP READING.
XO,
Mrs. Older
 




Tuesday, January 13, 2015

RAISING THE DEAD vs RAISING YOUR KIDS- PART TWO


Scene #1 

            Without asking him to, your husband walks in to the room where you are sitting and decides to sit there with you.  He softly says, “I just want to be close to you. Be in your presence.”  The love in the room is so strong you can almost touch it.  He loves you and you love him.   Then he begins to speak. He tells you how much he cherishes the covenant relationship the two of you have with one another. He tells you that he couldn’t live one minute without you.  He thanks you for every thing you do for him. He acknowledges how much you overlook and forgive his weaknesses.  He thanks you for the life – the children – you have given him.  He thanks you for the way you take care of their every need.  He tells you that you are so beautiful and perfect to him in every way. He begins to thank you for every thing you do every day.   Every single thing you do is acknowledged and appreciated:  the way you do things, the reason you do things, the way you keep your promises to him, even though he doesn’t always keep his. 
            He tells you that his love for you is so deep that he wants to please you in every thing he does.  He is more than willing to give up his own life in order to live the life you want him to live.  He tells you that he wants his life to focus on one thing:  pleasing you. He asks you to tell him how you envision your future together. He asks you to open your heart to him.  He wants to want what you want.  He acknowledges that everything he has belongs to you. He wants to hear about what matters to you.  He wants to hear about what pleases you.  He wants to hear about what displeases you. 
            And you tell him.  You tell him that you love him.  You tell him about the wonderful future you have planned for the two of you.  You tell him that everything you have belongs to him. You explain your heart to him.  You reveal to him the things that matter to you.  He understands the kinds of things that matter to you.  Because of his deep, deep love for you – and your deep, deep love for him – there is no struggle in the relationship. He doesn’t wonder what pleases you – He knows.  He knows you.  His love for you is only out measured by your love for him.  It’s a beautiful circle of love.  There is no fear.  And there is no doubt in either of your hearts that you will never leave him or forsake him.  There is peace. In the middle of chaotic life, there is peace.

Scene #2 –

            Without asking him to, your husband walks in to the room where you are sitting. It’s been weeks since the two of you have had a decent conversation, so you are happy to see him. He speaks to you with an edge in his voice.  It’s obvious from the tone in his voice that He isn’t sure you care about what he’s dealing with.  He decides to tell you anyway  - because after all - the two of you have a covenant with one another.   For the next several minutes he spills his heart out.  You see his is afraid.  Of life. Of the challenges he is facing.  You hear that he is overwhelmed and feels like he is walking through life on his own. You hear anger, and pride, and self-righteous pity.   He is kind of insinuating that maybe you aren’t really all that in to the relationship because you don’t seem to lift a finger to help him.  He gets up to leave the room – and as he is walking away he has a list of things he needs help with.  He shouts them out to you.   Before you have a chance to respond, he’s gone.   A few weeks later, he does the same thing.  Your heart is sad because he doesn’t stay around long enough for you to share your heart with him.  He doesn’t seem to appreciate you, your love for him, your sacrifice for him, or how you long to help him through life. He never seems to want to know what your will is because he really doesn't care what your will is.  His idea of your covenant relationship with him is that you focus on him all the time - and - he doesn't really give much thought to whether or not he is focused on you. At all. Ever. 


So now, in both of those scenes, imagine that you are God and your husband is you.
If you were God, which one of those two scenes seem like love to you?
And then review both scenes again, but this time you are your husband.
Which one of those scenes comes closest to the way YOU pray?
Is prayer simply a list of what you WANT from God?
IMHO – we have forgotten what prayer actually is.

Next blog we will study HOW Jesus prayed.  Not just WHAT He taught us to say. But WHAT He did.
Leave your comments.

More to come.

XO,
Mrs. Older  

Saturday, January 10, 2015

RAISING THE DEAD - VS - RAISING YOUR KIDS

I confess.  It's been a long, long time since I prayed for a dead person to come back to life and that dead person CAME BACK TO LIFE!   Well, actually, to be completely accurate... it's been LONGER than a LONG, LONG TIME.  It's been... well...it's been NEVER - which is way longer than a long time.  I have NEVER ever, ever, ever even thought about praying for a dead person to come back to life. 

It's not that I don't think God can do it... or that I'm stuck in some theological dogma club that refuses to believe God is still able to do anything God wants to do... anywhere... at any time.... BUT.. I've never been a "Raise Someone From The Dead Kind of Pray-er."   Are you?  Truth is,  if someone dies, I just go the funeral.  I have never walked up to the casket and laid my hands on the dead person and said anything even close to, "Arise."    I just let them stay dead and try to grieve with those who grieve. It never occurs to me to pray for a resurrection.  And yet... Jesus raised people from the dead.  Yes, but He was Jesus.  So then why did He say:

“I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father. You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!" ??

Why did Jesus say that?  Yeah, I'll get back to you on that.

In the past I've been more of a "HELP, LORD!... HHHEEEELLLLPPPP!" kind of pray-er. Prayer was mostly my
BACK UP PLAN
 when my "back was up against the wall", and I couldn't figure out something on my own, then I would cry out to God for help. And in His immeasurable mercy and grace, He always helps me when I call to Him.

And to be honest, the subject of my desperate prayers usually have to do with "stuff" like submitting to my husband (HELP!); having wisdom to raise Godly children (HELP!); holding on when the finances are dangerously non-existent (HELP!); feeling better about myself (HELP!); forgiving others (HELP!)

Prayers for raising the dead don't exist because I'm too busy praying real life, every day struggles and challenges. And in the past I've been mostly satisfied with that kind of prayer life and prayer results...

Well.. right... except for that disturbing little thing called Scripture.. in which my LORD.. my LEADER.....my SAVIOR...my KING...says:

 “I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father. You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father.  Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!"  (John 14:12-14)

Really?  Yeah, I'll get back to you on that.

So then, as a woman who loves God, am I supposed to be focused on raising the dead or raising my kids?  

Is it o.k. with God if you just FOCUS on YOUR FAMILY and let the world around you take care of itself?
 
What kind of "GREATER THINGS" should a wife and mother be doing in 2015?

The next few blogs will be filled with thoughts about that.

Please keep reading... and please... take the time to comment...

AND....Thank you to those of you who are getting your friends to sign up to receive this via email.  
(You ARE telling your friends to sign up to receive this via email... aren't you????)
With all the blogs out there... I don't take it lightly when someone decides that this blog is one they don't want to miss.

XO,
Mrs. Older

Sunday, December 28, 2014

"NAOMI, TIMOTHY'S MOTHER AND GRANDMOTHER, SARAH.. ETC."

This letter is from a sweet Mrs. Younger I have grown to love over the past years.  She delivered it like a gift from heaven on Christmas Eve.  Emails like this make my heart smile and my spirit sing.  Thank you.

Hello Dear Mrs. Older,
I just wanted to thank you again for filling a void in my life. I loved your Christmas post! I have benefited so much from your wisdom and I wish you the blessing of contentment and also the blessing of seeing the fruits of your labor.

To the latter point, I must tell you that You have impacted me especially greatly (as I have no Mother). Your Godly wisdom from a woman's perspective, has been seared into my conscience and changed me in many positive ways (that my husband and children also benefit from). I am so glad that God has used you as a vessel in the lives of so many.

On this Christmas Eve I just wanted to tell you that YOU matter. YOU are making a difference and I hope you can see that God has used you in a mighty way (beyond what you can possibly know). 


You are my Naomi, Timothy's Mother and Grandmother, Sarah and the elder lady that 2 John is addressed to all rolled into one!
I praise and thank HIM for YOU.
Xoxo,


And I thank HIM for HER... and you.
IF you read this on a regular basis and have not signed up to receive it via email... please sign up?  Upper right corner of this page.
XO,
Mrs. Older

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

CHRISTMAS TRUTH: JESUS LOVES YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW (even if she hates you)

In an effort to help my sweet Mrs. Younger's have a truly Merry Christmas, I would like to offer some suggestions and thoughts for you to consider about Christmas. 

1- It Isn't Christmas In Heaven:

Christmas is a man-made celebration.  And as a Christian and sincere follower of Jesus, it brings me joy to hear songs, and see commercials on TV about the joy and deliverance from bondage that Jesus brings.  But, in Heaven, December 25th is just a regular day.  Everything that matters to God every other day of the year matters to Him just as much on December 25th as it does on, say, July 17th.  It matters to Him that we are kind, and loving and forgiving and merciful and worshipful that day as much as any other day.  The good news of The Gospel is His most important desire on Christmas Day and every day of the year.   Setting captives free.  Healing the brokenhearted.  Proclaiming freedom.  Passing from Darkness in to Light.  Death in to Life. THIS IS WHY JESUS CAME TO EARTH.. AS A BABY.  This is what God is thinking about on Christmas Day... and every other day of the year.  I believe this is important to remember when your in-laws walk through the door.

2.  Jesus Loves Your Mother-in-Law Even If She Hates You

If you ask most people about what's important about Christmas Day, they will say "being with family."  The "fun" thing about getting married is that you get another WHOLE family to deal with.  Most of the year, you don't really have to deal with them, but on Christmas Day, your husband may actually WANT TO BE WITH HIS FAMILY.. (go figure)... I mean, it's Christmas, for the love of God, and even though you don't have any wonderful Christmas memories that include his family... maybe... HE DOES.  I would suggest you remember a key verse from the Bible: 

A gentle answer deflects anger but harsh words make tempers flare.

Proverbs 15:1 (NLT)

The interesting thing about this verse is that it is telling us what to do when we are called to respond to a remark.  It's an ANSWER to a statement already voiced.  It seems to me that it is easier to keep from saying something mean-spirited than to have to hold my tongue when someone has obviously and deliberately tried to offend me.   A gentle "answer" means that someone may have asked a snarky question, or someone may have said an insulting comment... and it is AT THAT MOMENT that I make the choice whether to light the fires of resentment that satan is just HOPING to light... or if I give a gentle answer.. then wrath doesn't FLARE.  It is so OBVIOUS that God does not want arguing, and contention, that I hesitate to take the time to type the sentence.. but some of us forget that. Some of us have turned in to angry Crusaders rather than loving Christians.

Now it doesn't seem FAIR, I'll admit, that when someone is taking a shot at you, that YOU have to be the one to keep the peace.  It may not be FAIR, but it is certainly WISE.

And maybe it isn't your mother-in-law who has obvious resentment against you. It could be your sister, or your own mother.  It doesn't really matter because in the end, God's main concern about that person is if they have come to know the Jesus they are celebrating.  Your life may be the ONLY time they see the Reason for The Season.  He loves your mother-in-law, your sister-in-law, your mother, the aunt who annoys you... SO MUCH... that He sent HIS ONLY SON to die for them.  Go figure. Who can figure the LOVE of God?  Not me. Not you.  And speaking of God's love.. never forget that...

3. Jesus Loves YOU Even If Your Mother-In-Law Hates You.

While you are doing your best to give gentle answers, to show love, to be kind... God has His loving eye upon you.  He is protecting you, guiding you, strengthening you.  He is more than willing to give you the desire to reflect JESUS on Christmas Day.  Don't forget that God loves you so much that He sent Jesus to give His life for you. God wanted you SO MUCH that it was worth giving up Jesus to have you forever.  You can make it through a stress filled day because.. well.. because you can do ALL THINGS through Christ who gives you the strength to do it.  

Mrs. Older is just as surprised as you are when I discover that someone has a resentment toward me, or someone doesn't like me... (I know.. I know... how is that even possible.. right?)....   Mrs. Older is a feisty little fighter of a woman who always wants to DEFEND HERSELF.   But the Holy Spirit gives me the desire to react the way Jesus would.  And after He gives me the desire to react that way, He gives me the power to react that way.

And I always remember that Jesus loves me.
Jesus loves me.

And... IF you feel alone that day... and IF someone shows their true and ugly colors... I pray that you might remember this blog...and remind yourself that JESUS LOVES YOU... even if your mother-in-law does not.

Oh.. and I love you too.
Merry Christmas...
Mrs. Older

Monday, December 15, 2014

THE RIGHT TO FIGHT

Mr. Older and I just celebrated our 45th Anniversary. Most people who know us say that we have one of those marriages that seem happy.  We are happy.  We got married soon after graduating from high school.  When you add the three years we dated in high school to the 45 years we've been married...it means that I have spent 79% of my life WITH my husband.

As we grew in to adults together, we formed our opinions about things together.  We decided what we liked, and didn't like - together.  We planned our future - together.  We didn't have much of a past to overcome..we had little past that didn't include each other.  You'd think that two people who have spent 79% of their lives with one another would never argue.. never disagree... never think the other person is bull headed and stubborn.  You think?  Well... to this day, we have opinions that differ from one another - and to this day - we still have arguments and disagreements. We still have days where we annoy one another.  Why do we have disagreements?

Well, from my side of the marriage, it's because Mr. Older is wrong. Dead wrong.  And refuses to admit that he's wrong and to admit that I'm right. 
He is wrong.
Wronger.
Wrongest.
And conversely,
I am right.
Righter
Rightest.

Are you gasping in horror that I would say such a thing?
Well gasp louder because.. It's just as true about you and your spouse.

Let's face it... no one has an argument with another person because they think the other person is right.  Duh.

We argue to WIN OUR POINT.. because we think OUR POINT is the ONLY HOLY, CORRECT and RIGHTEOUS ONE THAT MATTERS.
That's the truth.
Difficult to read.
Even more difficult to admit.

You are angry and/or arguing with your Mr. Husband because...

You think you are right.
You think he is wrong.
And you think that because  you are right.. it gives you the right to prove he is wrong. 
Don't you?
Of course you do.

YOU BELONG TO "THE RIGHT TO FIGHT" CLUB. 
Your human nature (and mine) instinctively and sinfully urge us to prove our point, insist on getting our way, and believing that winning an argument at any cost is worth the cost of the damage done to the relationship.

You believe with your whole heart... that when you are right.. you have the right to fight..
 
And isn't just reading those words so... so... RIDICULOUS?
I mean who would destroy a day, or an evening, or a weekend, or a home or a marriage on the ridiculous assumption that you are SO CORRECT in your assessment that your husband is SO WRONG that it justifies destroying the peace in your home?
Making you kids quiver in fear over the anger that permeates the atmosphere.
Who would do that?
We would, that's who.

And if I can just suggest that maybe you aren't as RIGHT as you think you are... 
(It IS possible)
And maybe...He has a point you aren't willing to consider...
(Have you considered that?)
And maybe...
Thinking before YOU SPEAK THOSE CRUSHING WORDS..
and 
deciding NOT TO SAY THEM..
Will have benefits in the long run that far outweigh proving your point in the present.
LISTEN TO ME SWEET AND SASSY SISTER IN THE LORD..

Don't believe the Lie that these arguments are not doing damage.
They ARE doing deep and unseen damage to your marriage.

Maybe...he just CANNOT SEE things FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE because..
 (DRUMROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL):

HE.  ISN'T.  YOU

Wisdom is knowing when to speak.
And when to let it go.
And that kind of wisdom comes from God.
And we all NEED that wisdom.
And we need to ask for it.
And God will gladly send it.

Don't be a fool with your marriage.

"Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarreling."
Proverbs 20:3

I love you,
Mrs. Older

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Saturday, December 6, 2014

DOES SUSIE JONES ANNOY THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU?

I'm gonna call her "Susie Jones."   She's the woman you know who has the perfect life.  She has a handsome husband, who has a fantastic job making a huge amazing salary.  Oh, yes, and of course "Susie" is one of the prettiest women you know - always dressing with the latest and expensive clothes. Susie is not one pound overweight, and so she looks GREAT in every amazing outfit she wears.  You, on the other hand,  struggle to find something you can afford to buy and then pray that the clothing you can afford comes in a size large enough to hide all your extra pounds.

Susie's house is amazing and decorated the way you dream of decorating your house if you could. But of course you cannot because your husband's job does not pay the money that Mr. Jones is paid, and your house is not like Susie's amazing house in any way, shape or form.  Susie has amazing talent, and everyone applauds her creative genius.  To add insult to injury, her children are the most popular, the smartest, and role models for everyone around.  They look perfect, they act perfect, and you are convinced they ARE perfect.  Your kids never make the honor roll, and don't have an overabundance of friends.

Susie and her husband are also involved at church.  Her husband is one of the lay leaders at church, and the guy that other guys come to for advice.  Your husband is never a leader and always a follower and secretly you wish he was more like "Mr. Jones."

So, you probably think I am going to tell you that "Susie" isn't perfect, and has secret heartaches that you could never imagine.  Well, trust me, that's the truth. But why should I have to tell you that?  And why does that make you feel better inside?  Does it bother you at all that you feel some satisfaction knowing  that Susie's life isn't perfect? I have spoken to countless "Susie's"  who have confided to me that they have pain, and they shed tears, and they have heartache. Why? They're human, that's why.

Still, your life seems pitiful and paltry compared to the perfection of of the "Susie's" that you know.

But "Shhhh...don't ever tell anyone" that the Susie Jones of this world annoy the living daylights out of you
.  Why?  O.K. I' going to tell you why but you may not like what I'm about to write:

  • You're jealous of Susie Jones.  When you compare yourself to her and her life.. you feel less than she is.  And that makes you angry.  It's just plain old human, sinful JEALOUSY.  And not only are you JEALOUS of Susie...
  • You're covetous of the things she has. You secretly wish you had HER life, her house, her husband, her looks, her reputation. You are angry because you can't figure out why she DESERVES what she has.. when you feel like you DESERVE it too.
You know, sometimes we get so cemented in our sinful attitudes and way of thinking that we don't understand that we are called to be content with what we have.  Yes. The rule of life is to BE CONTENT WITH WHAT YOU HAVE.. rather than DISCONTENT BECAUSE OF WHAT OTHERS HAVE.
We give ourselves permission to have unloving feelings about others in our hearts.... and forget that it is OUR hearts we will have to give an account about to our Creator.  And speaking of our Creator, when we pout about what we don't have.. when we feel the life we are living is unfair... we are in essence arguing with God about the way He is dealing with US.

“What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator.  Does a clay pot argue with its maker?Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying,‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!’Does the pot exclaim,‘How clumsy can you be?’"  Isaiah 45:9

So one of the ways Mrs. Older is loving you is to ask you to tell yourself the truth. Jealousy is sin.  Covetousness is sin.  Anger is sinHatred is sin.  Sin is sin. Sin separates us from the Presence of God.  We are like little jealous prodigal princesses... never understanding that it is our hidden ugly attitudes that are causing the breakdown in hearing His LOVING voice.


BUT.. WAIT...  the GOOD NEWS is that WHEN we CONFESS our sin to the Lord.

HE is faithful and just to forgive US.. and then HE CLEANSES US from all the effects of our unrighteousness.  Not only is HE willing and longing to FORGIVE you of your JEALOUSY.. HE IS ABLE TO CLEANSE YOU OF THE EFFECT OF IT.  You will be forgiven.. and you will be cleansed.  You will no longer feel anger... jealousy..covetousness... around Susie Jones.  You will feel LOVE. From Him. And for her.

You Heavenly Father adores you JUST AS MUCH as you think HE adores Susie Jones.  Who put the thought in your head that He didn't?  Was it God? I doubt it.  He wants to make you WHOLE inside. He wants to make you clean. He wants you to LOVE Susie Jones... and how can you LOVE her if you are JEALOUS of her?

Susie Jones doesn't have a clue she is tormenting you.
She is just living her life. The life God has given her.
You just live yours.
And peace will soon reign.
I love you,
Mrs. Older

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Wednesday, November 19, 2014

THANKFUL MRS. OLDER

She wrote me an email yesterday. It read:

Hi, I love your blogs! They really speak to the heart of the matter, namely, the heart is what's the matter. I believe many of us know more of God's Word than we actually apply. And that is what's sorely lacking in Christendom, an application of the Word of God and allowing the Word to govern our actions. James instructs us to be "doers" not merely hearers of the Word of God. Thank you for your ministry, it always blesses me.

I hear from so many of you.  All the time.  I think about you - a woman, a wife, a mom, who takes the time to write to a woman you don't know.. just because she encourages them.  I don't take that lightly. I cherish your words to me. I do.  And you encourage me so much more than I could ever encourage you.  Honest. 

I couldn't have known when I wrote the first post on this blog in February of 2012 that I would come to know and love so many of youWell, we don't actually "know" each other.  I don't know why I decided to write this blog under the pseudonym of "Mrs. Older" but I think sometimes it helps some of you to write.  You don't know me.  I don't know you.  But Jesus knows and loves each of us.  I am thankful for you.  Thank you.

Thank you to those of you who have signed up to receive this via email.  With very little promotion or advertising, in a world filled with an "everyone-has-a-blog" Internet... hundreds of you have decided to sign up to receive this via email.  Thank you. I had no clue that hundreds of you would sign up and that tens of thousands of people would read this blog. Tens and tens of thousands of readers.. from all over the world.  I'm FLOORED.   Someone.. many someones.. somewhere.. are telling many friends about Mrs. Older. WOW!

To those of you who have signed up to receive this via email... THANK YOU.  I am honored that you chose to allow that.  (BTW.. hundreds have signed up but have never followed through with the instructions on the follow up email.. so sign up again if you notice you've not received these)

Thank you to those of you who have trusted me with your hearts over these past two and a half years.  So many younger women have emailed me, saying in one way or another that they are so needy of older women pouring in to their lives but cannot find anyone in their town, or city, or church or neighborhood.  Over these years, many of you have been creating a friendship with this anonymous older married woman.  You email me.  Tell me about your families. Ask me to pray.  We sing happy songs when God hears your prayers.
Thanks for those emails.  (awordtothewives@gmail.com).  I know some of you by name. I pray for your marriages. I cry for your broken hearts.  I applaud you for believing that God is able.   I love to hear from you  Some of you with praise reports.  Others with prayer requests.   I didn't know God would allow Mrs. Older to have a little army of warrior women,  willing to pray and fight for their marriages, their children and their community

Thank you to those of you who follow me on twitter.  (https://twitter.com/awordtothewives).  BTW..... for those of you who write and ask me to just give a teensy weensy more info about myself.  Check out my new pic on my twitter account..and.. here  on this blog..if you look close you can see a very CROPPED picture of me.  Also.. if you would consider to follow me on twitter that would be cool.. also.

Mostly I want to say thank you for allowing me in to your heart.  And for allowing me in to yours.

A few years ago God clearly placed a "call" upon me to try and be just one voice crying in the wilderness to remind us that God expects  OLDER women to reach and teach YOUNGER women.  And God expects younger women to be willing to be taught. 

Of course sometimes maturity has nothing to do with age.. and I have found that under the surface... there are thousands and thousands of younger wives who want God's way and God's will to be what matters in their home.

I love you.  I love that so many of you email me...and comment here.

I am blessed and honored. 
And so.. as Thanksgiving approaches.. I just want to take the time to say
"Thank you"

Mrs. Older



Monday, November 17, 2014

THE EASILY OFFENDED WIFE

I remember writing an article for a Christian magazine a few years ago and a husband related to me (on the SACRED VOW and PROMISE that I would write his words anonymously) that when he and his wife were married for just a few months she asked him if he would like to spend the weekend visiting her parents.  He told her the truth, "No, I'd rather stay home this weekend.  I'm tired."  He says that the catastrophic, humongous and horrible WAR ZONE this created in their home and relationship was beyond any horror he had ever experienced with her.  Of course she got her way.. but what price did her marriage pay?

He said, " From then on...I just agreed to do whatever she asked me to do and said whatever I knew she wanted to hear.  I understood then that she wanted her own way MORE THAN she wanted us to have a real and transparent relationship. It's impossible to have a real relationship when one person has to lie about their own feelings in order to keep the peace."   They are now divorced.  

Sometimes... if you could trace the cause of trouble in a marriage back to the selfish seed that took root and grew up and choked the love out of a marriage it's:

THE EASILY OFFENDED WIFE WHO DEMANDS HER OWN WAY

(Yes... it's true that sometimes it's The Easily Offended Husband Who Demands His Own Way.. but this blog is "A Word To The Wives" so we're gonna go with the wife side of the issue.. o.k.?)

The truth is that just because your husband (or anyone for that matter) doesn't want what you want, or doesn't focus on what you think is important, or doesn't say what you want to hear... doesn't mean that you have cause to be offended.

We force these poor men to lie in order to have a moment's peace.  We don't really want to hear, "Well, yes, your jeans do look a little tighter than they did last month."
or
"No. I don't want to spend Thanksgiving at your parent's house."
or
"I would prefer to not go to the mall with you today."

I mean, seriously.. you would NOT BELIEVE the emails I get from wives who are SO OFFENDED... and if I DARE SUGGEST.. "Well, doesn't he have a right to NOT want to spend Thanksgiving at your parent's house?" 
OR say something like..
"Did you ever step back and take a look at the fact that the only problem is that he isn't doing what you want him to do?"

DEAR LORD.  DEAR LORD.  DEAR LORD.

We have twisted it around, sweet sisters.
 We say, "If you don't want to do what I want you to do, then you don't love me."

Or we say

"If you insist on wanting to do something that I don't want to do, then you don't love me."

But God's Word tells us that:
 Love does not demand it's own way. 
and
Love is NOT easily offended. 
(1 Corinthians 13:5)


If LOVE does not demand it's own way
and
If LOVE is not easily offended.

Then.. the truth is that when our husbands are offending us because they are not doing what we want them to do it's an indication that we do not love our husbands as much as we ought to and not the other way around.

When you love someone the way Jesus loves you...you will not have room to be offended because you aren't getting YOUR WAY.  Jesus example is to put the other person's needs ahead of His own.  And we are to love THE WAY HE LOVES.. not the way the world loves.

I challenge you to have one day of complete honesty with yourself.  Examine what you're angry at.  Offended by.  Is it simply because your husband doesn't want to do what you tell him to do all the time?

If he's being unfair.. unloving...unkind... LOVE still does not demand it's own way. LOVE still does not become easily offended

Talk to the Lord about your heart.
Ask Him to give you more love.  The kind that isn't easily offended.
The kind of love that tells your husband that he is able to be honest with you.
Show him the kind of love that allows him to speak truth.
Even if it hurts. 

We all have a blind spot when it comes to ourselves. 
Ask God to give you Holy Spirit sight.

Talk to the Lord about your husband.... and the Lord will talk to your husband about you.

ALSO..
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THANK YOU.
And.. I LOVE THOSE EMAILS Y'ALL are sending me.

Mrs. Older




Sunday, November 9, 2014

A VICTIM OF IDENTITY THEFT

When I was a little girl, about 400 years ago, we didn't hear anything about someone stealing someone's identity.  We didn't worry about our credit report.  We weren't looking over our shoulders wondering if someone was stealing our pin numbers.  We just took cash to the store, bought what we needed, and came home.

But now we live in a world where we have to prove who we are to everyone we interact with.  We have to show photo ID.. and we have to show it all the time.  Brand new billion dollar industries now exist to help us prevent identity theft.  Losing your identity is a main concern. Every other day you hear about another store whose customers identity has been compromised.

All of this chaos is a result of society's belief that if we can do something FASTER today than we did it yesterday we have achieved something. 

But doing something faster is not the same thing as doing something well.  Maybe we're not as smart as we think we are?


Our need for speed is the reason we are losing our identities.
Especially the reason we are losing our spiritual identity. 

God doesn't use the Internet.  He doesn't have to. 
Having a relationship with God requires waiting on Him.
Waiting for Him.
Time alone with Him.

I know, through trial and error, that when I am confused, overwhelmed, discouraged, fearful, angry, weak and without faith... it is because I have not taken the time to let God remind me that I am HIS DELIGHT. 

I'm going too fast. 
 
When I let other people and THEIR opinion of me discourage me.. it's because I have not been in God's Word, in God's presence so that He can cut through all the NOISE of this CRAZY FAST world.. and remind me that  I am a JOINT-HEIR with Jesus of all that Jesus has.
But when I stop long enough to let His Spirit comfort me... I am reminded that eye has not seen, ear has not heard, neither has it entered in to the hearts of men what God has prepared for those who love Him...


I hear from so many of you who tell me that you don't really know if God loves you, you don't really know how to hear Him, you don't really think you can understand His will or His ways, you don't know how to pray, your marriage is dry and lifeless... and...

You doubt that you really are HIS CHILD.

The cure for spiritual identity theft is in your hands.. sweet wife. 
I'm sorry to say that in spite of all the Christian books, videos, tv shows, seminars, woman's conferences and events.. and in spite of well meaning Mrs. Olders who write blogs.. 
The ONE and ONLY WAY
to be strong and confident and unmoved by what the world tells you you should be...
is to be in God's presence.

God is not in a rush to give you answers....  YOU are in a rush to hear them.
God sees tomorrow. You don't.
God sees your whole life from beginning to end. You don't.

Wait. Stop. Pray. Listen. Open your Bible. 
Your pastor, your small group leader, your husband, the woman writer who writes books, blogs and Bible studies... cannot change you from the inside out.
Only God can.
Take the time to let The One Who Created You remind you of how much He delights in you.

Sometimes change is good.
But not when it comes to Jesus - who is the SAME yesterday, today and forever.

Too many of us simply don't want to pray.
And that's sad and tragic.. because prayer is the only way to connect with the Only One who has the answers to the question you seek.

Mrs. Older

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

THE COMPANY YOU KEEP

I have heard many pastors and youth pastors using this verse found in 1 Corinthians 15:33 - "Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character” - as a way of warning young people to be careful about who they hang out with.  To be wise about who they count as friends.
I think, however, that it's a GREAT verse for wives, also.  Be wise about who you count as a friend.  For example,

  • There are some wives who don't like their husbands and who never hesitate to say something demeaning about him and men in general. If you have a close friend who constantly points out the negative in her man, don't be surprised if you gradually start to do the same thing to yours. 
  • There are some wives who don't like their husband's mothers.  They speak ill about their mother-in-law and do whatever they can to dismiss, demean and destroy their reputation. Their children are dismissive of her and learn to gossip about someone they should be respecting.  If you have a close friend who isn't shy about hiding her dislike of her mother-in-law, your children are hearing her attitude and it is taking root in their hearts also. 
  • There are some wives who are not happy with what they have.  They always have a slow whine about their house not being big enough, or new enough, or updated enough.  They don't like the car they drive, the clothes they have. If you have a friend whose attitude is one of discontent and unthankfulness, don't be surprised if you find yourself not being content with what you have.
  • There are some wives who make coarse jokes, and speak in an offhanded way about things that should be kept in modest silence.  Speaking about the intimate aspect of their marriage openly and with others.  If you have a friend who is willing to talk about such private things in a public place, you might be surprised to discover that your husband - and other husbands - remember every word she ever says. Keep your private life private.
  • There are some wives who talk the talk about following Christ, but don't walk the walk.  Compromise is contagious. Surround yourself with other women who truly want to follow the Lord, walk in His ways, and speak of His glory.

Well, Mrs. Older could go on and on and on and on.  But you get the point.
If you find yourself feeling discouraged, depressed, disenchanted, and down... maybe it could be the company you are keeping.



Just sayin'

LOVE YOU,
Mrs. Older
BTW... please invite your friends to sign up via email.  AND if you have signed up and are not receiving this... please check your spam box to see if you may have missed the email confirming you sign up.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

WHEN YOUR HUSBAND DOESN'T LOVE YOU

"Husbands, love your wives."  (Ephesians 5:25)

Seems simple right? Wrong. 

Because the end of that phrase is "just as Christ loves The Church and gave himself up for her."  WOW..  WOW.. .DOUBLE WOW!  I mean, let's have some sympathy for husbands. If Mr. Husband wants to obey God by following what the Bible says... He discovers that the kind of love he should have for his wife is the kind of love Jesus has for the church.  And boy have I heard sermons where men have been Bible-thumped to death with that verse.  And I have heard many wives flinging that verse at their husbands as a way of winning an argument.

But.. so few people read the WHOLE THOUGHT.  Jesus is not the Church's Puppet.. doing whatever we tell Him to do.   The next verses complete the thought.  Jesus purpose for giving up His life was to present us perfect and cleansed and righteous before GOD.  Jesus gave up His life so that we could HAVE life, and be reconciled to our Father, God.
He lived HERE so that we could live THERE.

A husband who loves his wife will give up HIS life for the same reason.  So many wives - especially those of us who want our marriages to be Christ focused - lose our focus when it comes to what real love is. 

A husband who loves his wife gives up his life so that SHE will focus on THERE more than HERE.  His concern for his family is to live his life here so that his family with be "there" - reunited with their Creator. FOREVER.

We have gotten it confused, I believe.. when we try to turn a husband in to a lifeless wimp of a man who gives up his God-given power in order to PLEASE his wife.  Jesus didn't come to earth to PLEASE THE CHURCH.  Jesus gave up His life in order to GIVE YOU LIFE.    You may be a wife whose husband doesn't love her. 
  • When your husband doesn't love you - he does not focus on your soul. He does not make the will of God the will that matters in your home.
  • When your husband doesn't love you he allows you to evaluate your lives based on what you have materially, rather than being focused on FOREVER. 
  • When your husband doesn't love you, he doesn't take a stand about what to allow in the home and what to protect you from.
  • When your husband doesn't love you, he doesn't feed and care for you. He doesn't see to it that your soul is filled with the Bread of Life.  He isn't concerned about whether or not rivers of Living Water are flowing from inside you.  
Dear wife,
If your husband is doing his best to guide your family in the ways and the will of God, you have a husband who loves you.

And... if your husband is not leading your family in the ways of the Lord... and isn't willing to give up his life for you...

Your Eternal Groom, Jesus, already has.

When your husband doesn't love you.... Jesus does.

I know, I know... you're thinking that doesn't help you get through life.

But..... it is.  It really is.  Jesus is more real than the husband who is breaking your heart.  You can cry out to Him.  He will hear you.  If you do it every day, eventually, you will notice that "somehow" you heart doesn't hurt as much as it used to. 

I love you.

Mrs. Older

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

WHAT ABOUT HIM?

So, like, three hundred and forty seven years ago, when I was a new bride,
I was a "What About Him?" kind of follower of Jesus. 

You know, like Peter was. In John 21,  Here's Peter, having denied the Lord, and he's sitting and having a conversation with THE RESURRECTED Jesus..which is mind blowing in and of itself... and Jesus.. being full of mercy and love... is dealing with their Resurrected Relationship.  "Do you love me Peter? You do?  Well, feed my sheep if you do."

And Peter, being a lot like Mrs. Older was.. asked the Lord, "But what about him?" pointing to another follower of Jesus.  Jesus answered, "What is that to you? You must follow me.” (John 21:22)

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH MARRIAGE???

Any Christian wife has got to remember that being a Christian wife means JESUS has RESURRECTED her RELATIONSHIP WITH HER HEAVENLY FATHER.

We are always to remember this.

We are RESURRECTED people. Here and now.  This humility of attitude is something Peter didn't have before the Holy Spirit arrived in his life.  This humility of attitude is something the Holy Spirit wants to cultivate in the life of every follower of Jesus.  Including wives.

Lots of times.. it's easy to fall in to a "What About Him?" attitude in our marriage.  We pray prayers that are like... "Well, Lord, what about him? He isn't obeying you. He isn't loving me like you do. He isn't laying down his life for me? He isn't being a spiritual leader. He's a failure. He's a weak person. What about him, Lord?"

We forget that the ONLY REASON we even have the right to discuss our husband's failures with God is because of our RESURRECTED RELATIONSHIP with Him.. thanks to our LORD JESUS... And when we ask the Lord those kinds of questions, sweet wives, Jesus answers us today as He answered Peter,   

"What is that to you? You must follow me.” 

I must do what God calls me to do in every area of my life.
I need the Holy Spirit to change me from a

"What about him?" kind of woman 

in to a 
"What about You" kind of woman.

A "WHAT ABOUT YOU?" WOMAN ASKS:

"What about You, Lord?  What do YOU want me to do in this situation? What are you requiring of me, Lord? Do you want me to forgive? I will. Do you want me to have mercy? I will. Do you want me to submit? I will. Do you want me to prefer his needs right now? I will.  What about YOU LORD?"

My husband, BTW, is an amazing man of God. Kind. Tenderhearted. Loving. And STILL... I used to wait until HE was doing what HE was supposed to do as an excuse for not asking the real question.. "Lord, what about You?"

The answer to that question always starts with one word: OBEY.

After 45 years of marriage.. I can tell you that a wife whose main concern is obeying God is a wife whose God will take care of her. No matter what.

Thanks for sending me emails. I LOVE THEM. (awordtothewives@gmail.com)
XO,
Mrs. Older