Friday, November 20, 2015


It doesn't take a genius to take something simple and make it complicated.  It takes a genius to take something complicated and make it simple.  And that is the genius of Jesus.  He explained the Kingdom of God by using simple things.  Using the things the people saw in their everyday life - sheep, wheat, fish, bread.  And I believe the reason so many of us are confused, and overwhelmed by this thing called "Following Jesus" is that we have complicated it beyond complicated.  It isn't complicated.  Unless you make it that way. Unless you want to keep saying you cannot do it, you do not understand it.  Telling yourself and anyone who will listen that you cannot walk the walk.  And the simple answer to those feelings is very simple. (DUH)  Tell God.  Just tell Him.  Whatever you feel. And then ask HIM to help you. He sees your heart. He knows if you REALLY want His help. And when you REALLY do.. He sends it. He will help you walk the walk if you really want to walk the walk.  If you just want to go to church and remain a powerless person.. that's your choice also.

Which brings me to another simple analogy the Bible uses to help us understand how to follow Jesus.  He uses the idea of FAMILY.  He refers to us as Children of God who are part of the Family of God.  For the next few blogs.. I would like to speak to every woman reading this who calls herself a follower of Jesus.  It's:


Kindness.  A simple, overlooked, disregarded Fruit of the Very Spirit of Very God.  The Holy Spirit. The Comforter.  When the Holy Spirit is at work in you, He is producing His fruit. (not's all or nothing...all His Fruit...)   And of all the things God's Spirit wants God's children to have... He lists KINDNESS.  Kindness?

Really, Mrs. Older, you're going to talk about KINDNESS.  YUP. YUP. YES!

We overlook and disregard the power and purpose of SIMPLY BEING KIND.. but God does not.  It's one of ONLY NINE "fruits" that the Holy Spirit is planting in God's Children. God could have chosen one of ninety nine bazillion words and attitudes to instill in HIs children.   He chose only 9. And one of them is "kindness."   A word study uses the word "gentleness" to describe what kindness is.  So another way of saying it could be:



It is tragic to have to acknowledge that I have seen Christian women be so UNKIND to their sisters. I have seen - and see- so many Christian women who are JEALOUS of their sister.  Or CONDEMNING of the sister. OR JUDGING a sister when they have NO IDEA WHAT SHE MAY BE DEALING WITH..or how her heart is broken... or why God has given her the personality He has given her. 

Not only that.. but we seem to have forgotten that if something is a BIG DEAL to God it should be a BIG DEAL TO US.  While we have been focusing on so many things that are NOT IMPORTANT TO GOD... we have lost sight of... and ignored... and often scoff at an elementary building foundation of a follower of Jesus.  KINDNESS. 

This is not a small thing. WE have decided that KINDNESS is no big deal.
Ohhh.... you are going to be so interested to hear the TRUE stories of what women have been dealing with... and how the women around them often DID NOT offer SIMPLE KINDNESS.
And you will rejoice to hear about the many times the women around them DID.

These will be anonymous stories.  They will be... TRUE.  I will change some identifying aspects.. but they are all true.  And I pray that when we are finished with this SIMPLE SUBJECT you will see.. that...


I love you.
More tomorrow... Yes.. tomorrow...
IF YOU WANT TO SIGN UP TO FOLLOW BY EMAIL... I AM NOT SURE HOW TO DO IT FROM A CELL PHONE... BUT.. if you go to this page on a computer or an iPad.. you can sign up to receive this via email by signing up in the upper right corner of the page.
Mrs. Older


Monday, November 16, 2015


It is heartwarming to me when you write to me when I haven't blogged for a while to tell me you miss me.  I miss you too. Thank you for your emails. Thank you. 

So, here's a quick explanation..  I will simply say that a book I wrote about my mother .......and the Godly lessons she taught me about how to live life..... was published in July... It got some publicity because my mother was involved as a prayer warrior for a Christian movie that was released around that same time.... and I have been in a wave of UNEXPECTED speaking engagements.. etc. because of that.  She passed away in June. My father passed away in July.  Grief. Missing them... and... People wanting me to come and tell them about my mother's prayer life.  My writing assignments have been increasing because of that.. and.. so.. am finally getting to a place where the grief is not overwhelming.. and neither is my schedule.

And in this season.. God is reminding me of something I always knew.. that my mother modeled in her life... and I would like to encourage you with:

The Word Of God is the way to overcome whatever life sends your way.  Whatever the Bible says about God, whatever the Bible says God says about Himself is so trustworthy that you can hang your life on those words. Your very life.  So then, just as he did in the Garden of Eden, satan tries to get us to doubt what God said.

Maybe you don't need comfort today about the loss of a loved one.. but maybe your grief is about a sickness... or a job loss... or a husband who is unloving...or a child who is wayward.  I want to encourage you.

When life gets difficult our mind can play tricks on us. Our emotions can blind us to truth.
We can think that God is unfair, or unloving, or unkind, or unapproachable. 

Do you feel like God has abandoned you? Psalm 34:18 reads:  "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Brokenhearted? He is close. Crushed? He will save you. This is not a pep talk. This is TRUTH.

God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” 
Hebrews 13:5

A word study of the word "never" means...... NEVER. NEVER. EVER. EVER. NEVER.
A word study of the word "forsake means...  LEAVE BEHIND; ABANDON;

I would encourage you to get your Bible...
Ask the Holy Spirit (whose name is THE COMFORTER) to give you a promise to cling to.
And then..

Are you thinking "God doesn't care about me"...?????
What does the Bible say?

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
1 Peter 5:7

You may FEEL like God doesn't care about you. But that isn't truth. Truth is what God's Word says.  HE CARES FOR YOU. YES... YOU.. yes... yes.. YOU.
In closing, I would like to say that sometimes we expect God to come INSTANTLY and make things right.  Sometimes.. He does just that.  Other times, He walks with us through it. And day by day He never leaves your side.  And then, one day, you look back and realize He never left you.  

I don't know how He will help you.  I don't know how He will comfort you.  I don't know when He will change your circumstances. 


Hang in there.
God is right there.
Right now.

I LOVE YOU...and so appreciate that God is allowing me to have so many people signing up to receive this blog.  Who knew? God knew.
Mrs. Older

Friday, October 23, 2015


The story of Samson and Delilah is the kind of story people make movies about. Sadly, the focus of the story of Samson and all his Delilah's is on what happened to a man who flirted with disaster and... eventually... disaster won.  Sure, the end of his life ended with him defeating some Philistines with one great big victory.  But don't forget that this was AFTER he had his eyes gouged out and was living as a prisoner/slave to the very people God had created him to overcome. 
His destiny was to defeat the people who were oppressing God's people. He was created because God had compassion on the people who had so disobeyed Him that He allowed the Philistines to conquer them.  In Judges 13, we see that God speaks to a couple - Samson's parents - about the son they are about to conceive and his LIFE'S PURPOSE.   An angel of the Lord gives incredible news, "He will begin to rescue Israel from the Philistines." Judges 13:5

THE STORY OF SAMSON HAS BEEN SPINNING AROUND IN MY HEAD FOR THE PAST SEVERAL WEEKS.. the last several weeks, I have spoken with more than a few parents of adult children.  These much loved children are not following the ways of the Lord.  I can hear the anguish in the voices of the parents.   All of them have said, in one way or another, "I know what my child is doing is wrong, but he/she is an adult and I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY CHILD BY CONFRONTING THEM ABOUT SIN."  Really? Really.  It's been uncanny how this situation has presented itself to me in the last month or two. I prayed.. for them.. with them.. about them...and the story of Samson's parents came to my mind.  So I read it. And re-read it. And saw some things clearly.

It wasn't SAMSON who spoke to an angel of the Lord, it was Samson's mother and father.  It wasn't SAMSON who was told he wasn't to drink wine or cut his hair, it was Samson's mother and father.  It wasn't SAMSON who knew that God had set him apart for a holy destiny, it was Samson's mother and father.  So then God had entrusted the message of His plan for Samson's life to SAMSON'S MOTHER AND FATHER. AND EXPECTED THEM TO PASS IT ON TO SAMSON. And the Bible indicates that Samson led a set-apart life.  It indicates his parents were diligent to tell him what the angel told them about his life on earth.
Samson was human - like the rest of us - and had his weaknesses - like the rest of us.  Although he was a judge of Israel he was also a compromiser.  He was not supposed to be interested in Philistine women. After all, he was set apart.  He was called to be in the world but not of the world.

In Judges 14 we see a fork in the road for Samson. A fork that his parents allowed him to choose the wrong way.   We see the beginning of the end for Samson.  We see him telling his parents that a Philistine woman has "caught his eye."  According to custom the parents had to arrange the marriage. Samson's parents asked him, "Isn't there even one woman among ALL THE ISRAELITES you can marry?"  And that was the beginning of the end for their son... though they didn't recognize it. 

Their question should have been a statement: "NO.  You are NOT TO MARRY A PHILISTINE. NO. WE WILL NOT ARRANGE FOR YOU TO MARRY A PHILISTINE."

But evidently... they "didn't want to lose their son" so they did what he demanded. They let their son make a sinful choice. And by so doing... they damned him to the tragic loss of his eyesight.. and chains on the champion of the Lord... and being mocked by people who hated him. He lived a desperate end to a less-than-he-was-created-to-be LIFE.

The tragic part of Samson's story is that God intended a life of VICTORY and HONOR for Samson. God had a life of RULING with AUTHORITY for Samson.

And that's the life God has in mind for every child of every believer.  GOD WANTS YOUR CHILD TO BE MORE THAN A CONQUEROR. You probably did not have an angel of the Lord appear to you giving you specific instructions about your child and his life and his choices.  You don't need an angel to tell you what you son and daughter's life should be in order to life a life honoring God and His ways.  You have the Bible.

I will quickly end this blog with just a few opinions and comments about things I hear people saying that I do not see a basis for in Scripture.  They are:

  • "He's eighteen years old."   The law of the land tells us that an 18 year old is legally an adult.  This is truth.  However, the Bible never says that when a son is 18 or older, that he is no longer under the authority of... or the responsibility of... his parents.  Does it?  No.  It NEVER tells a father, "O.K. You're done with your son.  Don't get involved with your daughter.  They are eighteen years old now."   True, they leave home and make their own lives. TRUE, you cannot keep them from making unGodly choices. But there is not one Scripture which says "Well, she's an adult now. You cannot say anything to her about the way she lives her life."  There IS a Scripture about a SON leaving his parents WHEN he takes a wife.  But if your kid is unmarried, you might want to ask the Lord if HE told you you don't have a responsibility to keep them reminded about the Lord and His ways... or.. if Society has told you that.  You can't control them... you have to let them grow.. but.. that isn't the same as standing by and watching them walk away from the Lord without saying something to them.
  • "Silence is consent."  I don't want to take space to list all the legal ramifications of that sentence. (Email me and I will give you the information).  All through the legal systems of the world, it is understood that silence about a situation indicates consent. If you don't SPEAK UP about something.. you have.. by your silence consented to it.  So a parent who believes their child is doing something that is against the LAW OF GOD and stays silent.. is consenting to the sin.  Write me and I will give you Scriptures which describes how God views people who remain silent when His Law is being broken. 
  • "I don't want to lose my child. My grandchild."  Someone.. somewhere.. has convinced scores of Christian parents of adult children that if they DARE utter ONE WORD about SIN.. their child will walk away forever and never return.  REALLY? WHO TOLD YOU THAT? The other side of that story is maybe in your kid's heart, they KNOW you are afraid to lose them.. and would RESPECT YOU and YOUR WALK WITH THE LORD.. IF YOU CARED MORE ABOUT THEM LOSING THE LORD THAN YOU LOSING THEM. As a parent and a grandparent, I feel you. I know how you feel. So does the Lord.  The Lord knows how weak we are. The Lord is filled with compassion on you in your present state of confusion. BUT REMEMBER that YOUR CHILD is HIS CHILD FIRST.  How would you feel about someone you entrusted your children to, to watch them, and you let them wander away so that they are lost from you forever?  God is counting on you to be sure that HIS CHILD  doesn't get lost and away from Him.  In your attempt to not lose your child HERE you may be deceived in to not remembering you could be losing him/her FOREVER.
  • "Who am I to judge?"  I could write ten million blogs about this whole "Don't judge others" misrepresentation of what that means.  Only GOD is the JUDGE. The JUDGE is the one who HAS THE AUTHORITY TO PRONOUNCE and EXECUTE the PAYMENT FOR THE CRIME.  None of us has that power. None of us.  So then you are not JUDGING someone when you say, "Son, you are sleeping with your girlfriend and I want to remind you that this is sin in the eyes of the Lord."  Secondly, if you feel guilty and unworthy to point out disobedience to your child just because you have disobedience in your past, then you don't understand the love of God.  If you have confessed sin, God has forgotten it.  IF GOD HAD TO WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO BE PERFECT BEFORE THEY COULD SPEAK GOD'S TRUTH TO ANOTHER PERSON.. THEN.. no one would ever be able to speak God's truth to anyone. He uses less-than-perfect vessels.  
This is too long already. I may write about this again. I know I'll get comments about this. PLEASE comment.

Dear Christian parent, 

This is not about rejecting a kid because he's made a less than Godly choice.  God never rejects anyone. His love and warnings are always about RESTORING people to HIM. Are you sure your words of truth are not what God is waiting for?  Can you pray for your children to be reconciled to God - ask Him to do something - when your silence is deafening? Who is whispering the lie to you that if you make a stand you'll lose your kid? Is it God? Is God putting FEAR in to you?  NO. He never gives a spirit of fear, but of love, power and sound mind. If it isn't GOD telling you to keep silent.. (and He isn't) then WHO IS?

Samson died a blind and defeated specimen because his parents didn't stick to the word God had given them. They failed to remind him of his HOLY DESTINY.
Instead of Samson defeating the Philistines - the Philistines defeated Samson.

Instead of your child being used as an instrument of God's Glory and Power and Light - he/she is living with the shadow of compromise.

Don't let your kid go through life blind and defeated because you have failed to remind him of HIS HOLY DESTINY.  IN THE END.


You are not rejecting your kid because you remind him/her that eternity is real and so is separation from God.

It is love.
"God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him."
(John 3:17 New Living Translation)
 Don't fool yourself in to thinking that saying nothing is saying nothing.
Your silence says consent.
Mrs. Older.

Sunday, October 11, 2015


I know what it's like to worry. I am the World Worrying Champion. Let me rephrase that: I WAS the World Worrying Champion. Are you a worrying wife and mother? Does what COULD happen overshadow what IS happening in your life? Do you miss the blessings because you are focused on the fear? As the years have gone by, the Lord has helped me to trust Him more.  If you are a worrier.. I pray my words to you about His words to me will help you. 

Here's how He helped me:

1- I took my worrying to Him.  I was honest with the Lord.  I told Him that I knew that I could not be a woman of faith if I was a woman of worry. His Word clearly tells me that WITHOUT FAITH it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God. (HEBREWS 11:6) But honestly?  I just worried about every single thing.  I told Him I wanted to stop worrying all the time, but I just did not have the self-control to do so.  The world is a scary place.  People we love can get sick and die.  Finances can disappear in a moment. Betrayal. Rejection. Accidents. Confusion. Robbery. Disasters.. on and on and on. I thought it was a little unreasonable for God to expect me to not worry about stuff. But He does. So then I have to change ME to fit in to HIM and not the other way around.  So I could not change myself from being a worrier.. and so I simply told HIM. It's called PRAYER.

2 - He did not condemn me for being a worrier.  I cannot stress enough how LOVING and MERCIFUL I have found God to be.  His followers?  Sometimes not so loving and merciful. Sometimes they expect MORE from us than God Himself does.  So, I encourage you to GO TO YOUR FATHER IN HEAVEN.

DO NOT convince yourself that He does not care about your cares. Just the opposite. His Word says, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:6-7). 

The key to these verses is the HUMBLE YOURSELF part of it.  We try to FIGURE THINGS OUT without God.  We think He doesn't care that we are WORRIED about everything.  IT IS HUMBLING to go to Him as a child and say, "Father, I am a mess with worry. I cannot deal with this scary place called earth without You and YOUR help.  Help me. I am unable to do this without You."  Ahhh. THEN it says to cast it all on Him. Why? BECAUSE HE CARES ABOUT YOU.  It isn't nothing to Him that life is scary to you. It's something. When your child is sure there are monsters in the closet, do you berate your child? NO. You open the closet and take the fear away.  God wants to open the closet and show you that there is nothing to fear when you cast your fears on Him. Everything about YOU is SOMETHING BIG AND IMPORTANT TO GOD.

3. Today is the day.  God is I AM. He lives in the present.  The Israelites were wandering the desert. If HE didn't send food and water they would have died. They had much to be fearful and worried about. But He took care of them. Yes, He did. 

But He didn't send enough FOOD for forty years all at once. He sent it ONE DAY AT A TIME.   The Holy Spirit took the time to show that many of the issues that were tormenting me were going to happen on some tomorrow.  HE SHOWED ME THAT IF I JUST FOCUSED ON WHAT WAS NEEDED FOR TODAY... I would see that God had supplied MORE THAN I NEEDED for today.  And during this season of the Lord healing me of worrying, He also showed me that the thing I was worrying about that MIGHT happen two Fridays from now.. NEVER HAPPENED. Somehow.. God worked it out.

Go to Him and admit your worry is crippling you... or ... causing you to limp through life when you should be LEAPING through it.
And let Him teach you how to live one day at time. 
And before long.. you'll look back and see that
all those days of resting in Him for THAT DAY ONLY.. have turned in to a LIFE of having faith.

FAITH is a one day at a time thing.

I love you. So many of you write to me and we have become friends.  If you write to me

I will answer you.

AND.. of course.. tell your friends that Mrs. Older is back to writing more regularly.. and ask them to SIGN UP to receive this. 

Mrs. Older

Sunday, September 27, 2015


I received an email from a Mrs. Younger who is signed up to receive this blog of mine.  (BTW.. thank you to all of you who HAVE signed up to receive this via email. Upper right corner of the page. I don't send you anything but this blog...promise.)

Anyway..she asked, "Mrs. Older, other than your spiritual advice to seek the Lord, read His Word, and ask for the help of the Holy Spirit to accomplish what is put before me, what OTHER advice would you give to younger wives and mothers?"

I answered her by saying, "Use your time wisely. I know you are hard pressed to find time for yourself.  So one reminder I would give you is that the time you have your children  under your care will fly by and before you know it they will be gone and on their own." 

Here's my can take it or not.. but.. here it is:

  • Include your children whenever you can in whatever you do.   I'm NOT saying you should be the kind of mother who brings her children when everyone else has taken the time to get a babysitter.  I know a mom who takes her daughter every where she goes. Actually and literally. To lunches with her adult girlfriends, to prayer meetings and Bible studies - and the little girl is a distraction. But I am saying that IF you can choose an event on a Saturday afternoon that can include  -rather than exclude - your children..CHOOSE IT.  Of course, you and Mr. Younger NEED time for yourselves. OF COURSE.. but.. don't give your children the impression that the two of you would give a right arm to get away from them.. whenever you can.  Children are IMPRESSIONABLE.. and you would be surprised at how intuitive they are to what's really going on inside Mommy and Daddy.
  • Weigh your "yes" carefully. Every time you agree to do something for someone or (forgive me pastors reading this) your church, you are giving time away that you could be spending with your family.  AGAIN.. I am NOT saying NEVER volunteer for anything.. but I AM saying.. remember that when you say "YES" to one thing it means you are saying "NO" to something else.  It isn't WRONG, in my opinion, for Mom (and Dad)  to have time out of the house.. but I see Moms (and Dads) who are SO OVER COMMITTED to everyone and everything else...that they are away from their home and their kids MORE THAN THEY ARE HOME.  I have found, however, that telling a parent to stop being gone so much is considered an insult.. so.. I try to keep from saying it unless a Mommy asks me why her kids are misbehaving.  I say, "STAY HOME MORE and PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR CHILDREN" Some moms take my advice... some moms don't. 
  • No time like the present.  God has promised to supply what we need.  Therefore, He HAS supplied all the time you need to get done what He has called you to get done. So then why are so many of so short of time??? If God has promised to supply what we need? Why doesn't He supply the TIME WE NEED?   OBVIOUSLY.. we are doing things that He never intended for us to do??? Maybe???  Ask Him to show you the TIME ROBBERS.. in your life.  TV watching? Internet browsing? 
  •  Be present when you are present.   It's true that life is challenging.. and you may have a boss to answer to.. and your husband has a boss to answer to.. and bills are piling up.. and laundry is never finished... and you are rushing to soccer, football, and dance practice.. but.. listen to that little four year old tell you a story.. STOP.. look her in the eye and listen. Don't brush of the thirteen year old's recounting of how unfair her teacher was today. listen. Just STOP and listen.  
Finding time right now might seem impossible to you.  Trust me, there is a fast approaching season when you will have more than enough time... to do whatever you want to do whenever you want to do it.  It's an exciting time.. that empty nest time.. when God opens NEW doors, and DIFFERENT experiences.

BUT for now, He expects you to FIND THE TIME for your children.

I love you.
Mrs. Older

Tuesday, September 22, 2015


Even though the last thing I had time for that day was to meet someone for coffee.....I met her, a 37 year old Mrs. Younger, for coffee because she called me and was crying about an argument she'd had with her husband. And because, as this blog is testimony to, I feel compelled to obey God's Word which tells the older women to teach and help and mentor the younger.   

She said, "I am so sad about our argument last night. Would you help me?"   I got dressed and met her an hour later at our local Starbucks. 

A mere three sips in to my vanilla latte (with an extra shot), I found myself thinking she got me here on false pretenses. I don't think she wanted help as much as she felt the need for someone to agree that her husband was "Wrong, wrong, wrong! End of discussion." 
After she said that a few times, I called her bluff and said, "Well, if the fact that he is wrong ends the discussion I'm gonna go home."  
"What? Why?", she asked.
"Well, if he's wrong, wrong, wrong, and that's the only thing that matters to you...why am I here? What is there to discuss? You've got the whole thing figured out already. He's wrong. You're right. Right?" 
"Well, I guess so, but what do you think? Is he wrong?"
 "I see his point and I see yours. You're both right. You're both wrong for wanting to be right more than wanting to be in unity." 

I asked her if she wanted some simple advice.  She said she did. Here's what I told her.

1- Being right doesn't give you the right to prove you're right.   It took Mrs. Older a couple of decades to embrace this reality.  I was a little married crusader who relentlessly pursued poor Mr. Older when he was on the wrong side - according to me -  of an argument.  I knew I was right, and by golly, I was going to prove it.  Being right gave me the right to prove I was right. Right? RIGHT!  One day Mr. Older looked at me and said, "O.K. you're right" and got back to what he was doing.  "I'm right?" I asked him. "Yup. You're right."  I was right? He was wrong? EUREKA!  I WON!  It  didn't feel as good as I imagined. I decided that day that proving I was right was not a right I was entitled to. I said to her, "If your only goal is to prove that he is wrong then you will continue to inflict serious wounds in your marriage.. and though you won't remember what you were arguing about a year from now, those tiny little shots will leave scars in both your hearts."

2- Being wrong is not as horrible as you might think.  I said to my young friend, "If you want me to tell you the truth, I think that your husband has some valid points in this argument you are having. Honestly? I don't think he's as WRONG, WRONG, WRONG a you think he is." She looked at me and said a sentence with such a horrified look on her face, you'd think she was telling me that her dog just died.  She said, "You mean I'm wrong?" 
"Yes.  It happens on a regular basis to the inhabitants of Planet Earth.  Everyone is wrong sometimes.  Even you."
I attempted to show her what I saw as "his side."  
"So then I'm wrong?"
I didn't play judge or jury that day.  I just told her I could see her husband's side. 

3- OPPOSITES OFTEN OPPOSE.  The glitch in the scenario of marital peace on earth is that you are not a man, and he is.  He is the OPPOSITE sex. He will see things UTTERLY OPPOSITE many times.He doesn't see things your way. Your girlfriends might.but.. not your husband.  It's time to mature and understand that just because he doesn't agree with you doesn't mean he is wrong. 

Or if it is utterly impossible to say those words, you can try something like, "I have to admit that maybe you do have some valid points."  You won't die.  You can be wrong and still stay alive. 

Finally... the Bible advises us "Do all that YOU can to live in peace with everyone." (Romans 12:18 NLT) 
This is not a suggestion.. but an actual teaching to followers of Jesus. 
TRY to live in peace with your husband.
This might mean letting something go when you really want to fight about it.

The HOLY SPIRIT of GOD.. is MORE THAN willing to change you from someone who has to be right, to someone who is able to admit it when she is wrong.

She called me a month later to say that God had shown her the deep pride that caused her to refuse to be wrong.  Not just with her husband, but most people she knew. She sounded so soft inside when she said, "I have admitted to being wrong more in this last month, than all the fourteen years we've been married.  It's the best thing that ever happened.'

The world is filled with people who refuse to see themselves honestly.
Don't assume you aren't one of them. 
The HOME you save will be your own.
I love you,
Mrs. Older
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Sunday, August 23, 2015


Married life would be great if every day was like our wedding day and our honeymoon.  Not so much because we want to live on a beach, or spend decades in our wedding gown...but because of the way we felt about one another.  On your wedding day, your husband saw no (or little) fault in you... and you felt the same way about him.  I know very few people, who, on their wedding day thought, "How will I endure life with this baboon of a man?"   I'm not saying people like that do not exist... I'm saying I don't know them.  And so the "honeymoon" is over when that small seed of his disapproval takes root in your heart. If you are not careful, sweet princess, it will grow big enough to crush it. 

I believe that the core of every marital breakdown begins with that first tiny seed of disapproval that our spouse knowingly or unknowingly plants inside our heart.

Suddenly, one day, you are no longer his perfect princess but a clutzy clown who just ruined his favorite golf shirt; or a whiny wretch who insists he look up from his cell phone at dinner; or a needy nagger who keeps spending too much money.

Let's face it, it hurts to see that glow in his eyes fade away. And that's the problem with so many wives I know. We spend our lives trying to make it reappear.  It hurts to lose our princess crown. It hurts to see him see us differently.

And once again, we learn from Jesus and His example. One minute He was popular with the crowds, the next minute they wanted to kill Him.  His example is that He did not allow His peace AND HIS TRUE IDENTITY to be based on what other people thought about Him. HE IS THE ONLY SON OF THE ONLY GOD. That didn't change because people's opinion of Him did.

John 2:23-25 reads, "Because of the miraculous signs Jesus did in Jerusalem at the Passover celebration, many began to trust in him. But Jesus didn’t trust them, because he knew all about people. No one needed to tell him about human nature, for he knew what was in each person’s heart." 

Jesus knew that people will change their opinion of you when you stop doing what they want you to do.  He wasn't moved by people's changing opinions.  And you shouldn't be moved either. Even if that person is your husband.

If you've been reading this blog for any time at all, you know that I'm all for trying to do our best to please our husbands.  Look our best.  Speak our best. Love our best. 
But some of you are allowing your every day to rise or fall based on your husband's approval rating of you.  And in so doing, you have lost sight of the Eternal Prince who continues to see you as perfect. 

Obsessing about what your husband thinks about you seems like the right and Godly thing to do. Spending time focused on looking perfect, being perfect, doing things perfectly in order to get him to applaud you seems wise.  It isn't wise to focus on a person so intently that you lose sight of the LORD WHO LOVES YOU the same way yesterday, today and forever.  I encourage you to not lose sight of whose crown has been placed on your head and will never be taken away.

Jesus loves you.  If your husband doesn't... tell Jesus.  Ask Jesus to change his heart. Pour your heart out to Jesus. 
Focus on pleasing the Prince of Peace and He will take care of the rest.

Your royal husband delights in your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord
Psalm 45:11

I love you.
Thank you all for your kind words of sympathy and all your emails. 
Mrs. Older

Friday, August 21, 2015


Mrs. Older at the Atlanta Premiere of "War Room"

WOW. WOW. WOW. WOW.  I am amazed at how this blog is being read ALL OVER THE WORLD. So many of you have responded to my request in my last blog to "tell me who you are."   Please email me at:  LINK TO MY EMAIL

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know I never advertise stuff here.  BUT I would like to encourage you to go see the movie "War Room" which is being released on Friday, August 28th.  It will revolutionize your life. 

Thanks again.

Mrs. Older

Thursday, August 13, 2015


Hello dear, dear readers,

Would you do me a small favor?  Would you take just a few seconds and send me an email describing yourself in a sentence or two?  Just something like, "I am a thirty-nine year old married mother of three children...." and any other thing you may want to include about yourself.  (If you want to include your city that would be great also.) I want to include it in a future blog.  I won't use your name.

You may do it by posting a comment here or by sending me an email at:

Wednesday, August 12, 2015


It seems like a hundred years ago I wrote that I was going to spend a couple of blogs writing about talking.  The title I suggested was, "Can We Tell How You Speak At Home by The Way Your Children Speak in Public?" Before we get to that series of blogs, I'd like to mention something to my overworked and underpaid Mrs. Youngers.  I would just like to remind you that

God created children to ask questions.

Yes. He did. That's how children learn.  If you think the world is vague and confusing to you - an adult - just think how confusing it is to your kids. And you (and Mr. Younger) are the people God has put in place to answer all their questions.  That's the simple, genius system God has put in place. Children ask questions. Parents lovingly and patiently answer them.  

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... yeah right  Sometimes there are so many questions that it seems like torture.  Every three seconds, "Mom, why is that man walking like that?' "Mom, when are we going to get ice cream?" "Mom, why do dogs bark instead of talking?" And they go on and on and on.  There are so many questions that the normal mom probably only answers about 25% of them. 

But this is just a gentle reminder that your child asking you questions may not seem like a big deal to you.. but it's a big deal to your kid.  So for today.. just try and notice them.. and answer them... the best you can.

Your children don't pack up and leave you just because they have some questions you do not answer.  You may not want to explain why Uncle Bob is in prison, or cousin Susan lost her driver's license.  You may not want to explain why Grandma is so fat, or Grandpa is so cranky.  

No.  Your children still love you... even when they ask a question and it goes unanswered.

I want to be that kind of a child.  I want to understand that sometimes I have real questions and I ask God for answers to those questions.  And sometimes all I hear is silence. It seems like He doesn't answer.  I don't pack up and leave Him just because I don't get answers.  No, I still love Him. Even when I ask a question and I am waiting for an answer.  We all have unanswered questions. Sometimes we get answers.  Sometimes we just love our Father in Heaven and trust in His goodness.
Be that kind of child today.  Trust Him.  He is love.

"When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer. "
 (Psalm 94:19)


Mrs. Older.

And.. BTW... thank you for telling your friends to sign up to receive this blog. 

Wednesday, July 15, 2015


My last blog, "I Will Always Miss Mrs. Even Older" was about the fact that my 92 year old mom passed away on June 6th. I am touched by the emails with comforting words that I have received from so many of you. Thank you.  Mom was a feisty, fearless WOMAN OF GOD.. and when she died she left behind her husband of 72 years, my father, Mr. Even Older.  

My father, 91, has always been the epitome of what a father should be. He was a pastor for most of my life, and a man who loved people and the Lord with all his heart.  For the past year or so, he has lost a great deal of his mobility, and mom devoted herself to his care. My amazing husband selflessly cared for my father for many months. 

The day after mom died, we moved Dad in to our home.  He has his own bedroom, and we assured him that we would continue to care for him.  He was a kind, gentle, Godly man.  You'll notice I use the word "was"... because two days ago, on July 13th... he slipped away to heaven to be with mom.  Just 37 days after she went.. he went too.

HIS FAVORITE SONG - anyone can tell you - FOR ALL HIS LIFE - was a fast-paced song, "There's going to be a meeting in the air..."  
And he had his meeting in the air. 

I know they are both in the presence of God right now. 
But.. I miss them both.  

Caring for my parents has been center stage in our lives for the past four months. This all happened so quickly.  I am still processing it all.
 I hope to be able to get back to blogging soon.
I miss all my sweet Mrs. Youngers...
In the meantime, thank you for your prayers. And your emails.
Mrs. Older

Sunday, June 14, 2015


Mrs. Older's mom... Mrs. Even Older.... went to be with the Lord on Saturday, June 6th, 2015.  She was 92 years old and a powerful woman of God.  

On April 1st, we got the news that her pain was not just a gallbladder attack but it was a terminal disease... and she would be gone from this earth sooner than any of us had imagined.  For the past eleven weeks, I have been at her home caring for her.   And just being close to her. Watching her face.  Looking in to her green and beautiful eyes.  Cherishing every single second with her.  Kissing her. Hugging her.  Telling her every word I could think of to tell her.  Mostly, "I love you, Mom."  I have not been able to write this blog because my heart was with my mom. I hope y'all understand.

The Lord was good to me and He allowed me all those weeks to get used to her home going.  It was a very long goodbye and I am so thankful for it.   I know God decides the days of our lives.  I am thankful to Him that when He chose to take her home, He had mercy and her last weeks of life were not painful.. and her passing was peaceful... as she quietly breathed her last breath.  Our whole family was gathered by her bedside... I was holding her hand.. my son was holding her other hand... My brother.. his wife... my beautiful daughter-in-law, Mr. Older and our three grandchildren were all there.  We sang. Read Scripture.
My dad... who is 91 and still alive... is bedridden and was not able to be there.. but was in another room... Praying for her.

As with most people who have lost their mom, I now know that no on can ever fill the HUGE HOLE in my life that exists where my mother used to be. 

She loved the Word of God. Every morning, she would spend time with the Lord and her Bible.  Every day, she would write down a particular verse that stood out to her... and write that verse on an index card.  Invariably.. that exact Scripture was one that God used to encourage someone she spoke to that day.

I have boxes of these index cards.  They are more precious than gold to me. My mom writing God's Word.

Three days ago, I was very sad.  I know my mom is in the presence of the Lord.  If anyone was in love with Jesus it was my mother.    I just miss her.  I am not despondent. I know she lived a long, happy and HOLY life.

BUT.. a daughter misses her mom.

I got in to my car three days ago and that card pictured above... with that verse was sitting in the middle of the passenger's seat.  I KID YOU NOT.  I asked my husband if he put it there. He did not.

That verse is God's instruction to Mrs. Older about how to find the strength to mourn the passing of Mrs. Even Older.  I will wait for Him.

How could my mom have known on the day she wrote that verse that God would use the verse and her card to comfort her own daughter as she deals with her mother's passing?

I don't have any explanation for how that card got there.  The boxes of those cards are in my house far, far away from the car.  The card was there.  It encouraged and continues to encourage me.

Thank you Lord for taking the time to be sure that an older woman who is sad to lose her mom has been reminded in the most unusual way that YOU will strengthen me.. and I need to believe that and wait on YOU.

Appreciate your prayers as I walk through this never-before-season of living without Mom.

Mrs. Older

Wednesday, June 3, 2015


Where have I been? Where have I been? 

Well, honestly, Mrs. Older has been taking care of Mr. and Mrs. Even Older - my parents.

Suddenly, at the beginning of April, my parents, who are 91 and 92 years old began to show their age.  They are in need of almost constant care and attention from me and my family.

It is an honor to do so.  They are both Godly and loving parents and people.

I will be back soon. 

In the meantime.. thanks for your prayers for Mrs. Older.

Thursday, May 7, 2015


"If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless." James 1:26 (NLT)

For the next couple of blogs... I would like to talk about the way we women talk - and the effect it has on our husband, our children and our lives.  Are you in? 

As someone who talks more than the average human being - well - wait.. let me rephrase that... as someone who talks more than one hundred average human beings, I would often cringe when I read some of the verses - especially in James - about how we should learn to control our tongues. Our speech.  And then I noticed that James wasn't telling us to KEEP QUIET.  He isn't saying we should NEVER SPEAK. 

No.. he says.. CONTROL your tongue.  CONTROL IT.  The word refers to a "bridle".. restraint... 

A few weeks ago a young friend called me because her six year old daughter had been with her mother-in-law for a few hours.  Evidently, the little girl told NANNA that she shouldn't wear such tight clothing because it makes her "look like a whale." 
"Where did you hear that?" Nanna asked
"Mommy said it."
When Mom arrived to get her daughter, Nanna told her daughter-in-law how "cute" it was that her granddaughter had said such a thing, but my friend knew she didn't think there was anything cute about it.  OOOPS.

Now.. if my friend had learned to control her speech... she would not have had such an awkward moment. 

What you say matters.
What do you say to your children about God?
What do you say to your children about their daddy?
What do you say to your children about themselves?

What do you say IN FRONT of your children about others?
What do you say IN FRONT of your children about yourself?

This should be a fun couple of blogs.
Sorta like the kind of fun we all have when we have a root canal.
Nevertheless.. I love you.
Mrs. Older

Tuesday, April 28, 2015




And so... once again... my real life has hit me square in the face... and Mrs. Older has not had enough time in each day.. I truly miss all of you.. and am so SURPRISED.. and HAPPY that some of you have written to ask me where I've been... 

I've been...Finishing up a book.  Caring for my parents who are in their nineties.. (this is mostly were I've been) PLUS...Writing two magazine columns a month. 

I just wanted you to know I have not moved to Mars.  

I will be back next week with a new topic rattling around in my brain.

"Can We Tell How You Speak At Home By The Way Your Children Speak In Public?"  

I think we can. 

I know we can.

O.K. Back To Deadline City.

Love you,
Mrs. Older