Nobody enjoys being wrong. I don't enjoy it when I am wrong - every couple of decades - and someone tells me I am. I say that to say, that my MOTIVE for these next few columns is not to get some kind of OLDER, WISER WOMAN satisfaction by telling you you are wrong for being angry (or any other toxic emotion) and that you had better "get with the program and get back in line, woman!"
Quite the opposite. I am going to tell you, the angry wife, that you most likely have a GREAT reason for being angry. You might have been mistreated, ignored, abused, neglected, and unloved in many years of marriage - OR - You might not be neglected and abused, but simply not valued, not precious to the husband you have. He may be someone who spends his time caring about his career, or his friends, or his golf game, or anything other than you and your heart. I feel your pain. No wonder you are angry. It's understandable. Because God created a woman to be LOVED by her husband. LOVED by him like he loves HIMSELF.
So for today, I am speaking to the ANGRY WOMAN. The woman who is ready to EXPLODE! No one gets through life without being mistreated, misunderstood, or unappreciated. So you've probably heard the verse "Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit for anger resides in the lap of fools." You've probably heard someone say that it isn't GETTING angry that's a sin, but STAYING angry that destroys you. It's true. Holding on to anger makes you a fool.
I think... that the root cause of being an angry fool can be found in some other Scriptures which also describe a person who is a fool. It says, "The fool says in HER heart - there is no God." The root of RAGE is.......unbelief. The root of anger is when we think there is NO GOD who cares about the way you are being treated. There is NO GOD in heaven who is expecting your husband to be a GODLY HUSBAND. This is a lie. YOU ARE BELIEVING A LIE if you believe there is no God you can run to who cares about what's going on. He sees. He cares. His heart breaks when your heart breaks. But, as long as you believe that your anger - and venting your anger - is the answer to the problem.... He cannot help you.
So I will give you some simple advice today.
Whatever the REASON for your anger - it has to go. Why? It's going to destroy YOU. You can spend years rehashing the REASON - and feeling justified - for your anger. But it will destroy you and your family. Being an angry woman is being a woman who tears her home down with her own hands.
Go to the Lord. Tell Him... "God, I have spent my time listing all the people who have been unfair and unkind and unloving to me. I have a lifetime of being treating unfairly. I believe I have a good reason to be angry. I have also believed the lie that You don't care what has happened. So... Whatever the reason, I confess that anger is wrong. I am asking You to heal my heart, and take away this anger. I confess that my anger and unforgiving attitude is a sin."
And.... every time you feel the rage rising up......cast your care upon the Lord. Jesus CARES.... deeply about you.......that is the TRUTH. It won't happen overnight.. though it could.. but.. if you will continue to ask for the faith to believe that you have a HEAVENLY FATHER who DEEPLY CARES about your heart - and how broken it is.. HE WILL HEAL YOU. HE WILL.
I love you. I love you. Jesus is right there... right now. Yes. He. Is.
(Leave your comments below. Also, if you haven't already done so, sign up to follow by email. In the upper right corner where it says, "Follow By Email")