Sunday, September 1, 2013


After a while, if you're not careful, your marriage can become like a competitive sport.  You start keeping score, you don't want to give your husband an advantage, you don't want to let him see your weak spots.  If you know he's right, you will fight to the end before you'll admit it. BUT...

Winning at all costs is the sure way to lose your marriage.
 Marriage is the ultimate team sport. 

  • Imagine seeing the pitcher on the mound of a major league baseball game walk off the mound and in to the dugout because the first baseman hurt his feelings. 
  • Or the fullback tackle his own quarterback because the quarterback stepped on his foot.
Ridiculous.  But.. in the same way your marriage should be forming you both in to the team that runs the family.  When your husband does something that benefits the TEAM  say so.  SAY SO.

And honestly?  Your children are being formed by watching you.  Don't kid yourself in to believing they don't know what's going on.  They know.  And what message are you giving your children when they see Mommy and Daddy unwilling to get along? Mommy and Daddy unwilling to give credit where credit is due?  The way you act toward one another is what your kids are being formed by.  Not your pious words, but by your actions.  

I would like to make a suggestion. 
Give your husband credit for stuff he does or says or is.
OPEN YOUR MOUTH and say things like,

"You know, I have to give you credit for....

 ....knowing how to fix the lamp in the family room"

..........doing so well at your job."
..........putting up with my mother"
..........reading your Bible so much."
..........making me feel beautiful all the time."
..........not being someone who gets drunk."
..........keeping up with the chores around the house."
..........being sure the family is involved at church."
..........washing the car."


Throw the relationship scoreboard out the window.
Then relax and enjoy the halftime show.

Mrs. Older.

P.S. BTW... I cannot figure out WHERE and/or WHO is pushing this blog, but thank you, thank you to the MANY, MANY new email followers.  You can sign up at the upper right hand corner of the page.. and anyone who reads this blog will tell you the only thing you get is this blog.  No ads. No nothing but the blog.

1 comment:

  1. I love you Mrs. Older. Sometimes I read your blog and I think that what you are saying is so basic I can ignore it. But then I do what you suggest and it does make a positive impact on my husband. This morning after reading this, I told my husband how impressed I am with his understanding of computers. It's his job and I have never mentioned to him that I think it's great that he knows about stuff and that my friends and their husbands call him all the time to ask his advice. He lit up and said thanks for saying that. He was smiling and in a good mood all morning. It was a wonderful labor day for us thanks to your advice.