Monday, September 23, 2013

"DON'T TELL MOM"

Currently, there's a TV ad for a car that shows a father doing stuff with his kids and cautioning them, "Don't tell Mom"  at least four or five times in the commercial...and the kids agree.  Why?  Because he's doing FUN stuff - we see three kids sitting in the back seat with five pound ice cream sundaes on their laps- and evidently Mom does not approve.  Dad's lesson to his children?  Who cares what Mom thinks?  This is ICE CREAM!

Mom goes skydiving with her son and as they land she cautions, "Don't tell Dad!" and the kid agrees.   When you don't bother to tell your husband that  YOU AND HIS SON ARE JUMPING OUT OF A PLANE WITH PARACHUTES ON YOUR BACKS you have problems you aren't dealing with.

I mean, REALLY? Who wrote this commercial about two people who cannot agree on some basic guidelines and so they sneak behind each others backs... IN FRONT OF THE KIDS????  Does no one but me see the horrible lesson they are teaching their own children?

REALLY, REALLY bad life lessons like:
  • Dad is too much of a wimp to tell his own wife that he doesn't feel like agreeing to her RULES.   
  • When Dad isn't with Mom he does stuff he doesn't tell her.  
  • When Mom isn't with Dad she does stuff she doesn't tell him.
  • Dad and Mom sneak around on each other, so we can also sneak around on Mom and Dad.
  • Married couples have secrets they hide from one another.
  • If you REALLY REALLY want to do something just do it and hide it.
  • We can disobey Mom if Dad gives us permission to.  
  • We can disobey Dad if Mom gives us permission to.
  • We can disobey.
  • Rules were made to be broken.
Well of course this is just a commercial on TV. 
No one really does this, right?

Sadly... I know many parents who refuse to listen when you caution them that teaching your kids to be sneaky with others...gives you kids who know how to be sneaky with you. Every "Don't tell Mom" or "Don't tell Dad"  is creating a lifestyle of hiding the truth that your kids are learning from their own mom and dad.  Do you want to be the one who creates a sneaky kid?  Don't be a sneaky mom!
It is such a sad situation when two parents who have hidden things from one another - in front of the kids -  walk in to their pastor's office, heartbroken and confused about the truth they have recently uncovered through things like  --- pregnancy, or drug addiction, or truancy ---  they have children who have hidden things from them. 

Don't hide secrets from your husband.
Period.
And especially DON'T EVER DO SOMETHING in front of your kids that requires the sentence "Don't tell Dad" ... or husbands... "Don't tell Mom"
IF you are living that way... then you cannot have the kind of intimacy that comes from being ONE with your spouse.  If you are living that way, you are settling for a marriage that isn't really real.
 
1 John 1:6-7 says, 
"if we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin."

If you want to be a FOLLOWER of JESUS you have to WALK IN THE LIGHT as HE is in the light. You cannot have fellowship with another human being if you are HIDING THINGS FROM THAT PERSON.

In Him is NO DARKNESS.  Jesus doesn't lie and He doesn't teach His children to lie. How do you think HE feels to see YOU teaching HIS children that HE has put in YOUR CARE to lie? 

If you have done this in the past, bring it out in to the light in front of your children.
In front of your husband. I am not referring to things like confessing adultery, addiction, or anything that might require jail time.  LOL. 
I am referring to every day things like eating ice cream when you shouldn't, spending money you should not have spent... every day things.
How?
Just say, "I want to say something.  Sometimes I do things that I hide from Daddy. Things like _____________.   Daddy, will you forgive me for being sneaky? I shouldn't hide things from Dad and neither should you, kids."
And then...
move on...
Walking in the light of the love of Jesus means His Blood PURIFIES us from those things we confess to Him and one another.
Confess... then dance with joy that you have been forgiven...
XO,
Mrs. Older




4 comments:

  1. "...everyday things." You had to add that... Guilty as charged... Thank you. You are a gift that arrived just when I needed you. God is good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shauna,
      The gift is you, my dear.
      God IS good.

      Delete
  2. We have a rule in our house, we don't put the kids in the middle. We don't ever tell them not to tell mom or dad. The only thing we might say is, "Let me tell mom before you do." But other than that, we don't keep secrets!

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  3. I am a teacher and a parent and think this is a horrible commercial teaching kids to be deceitful to either parent. This shows how low we have come in values. who let this commercial be made should be fired for his/her lack of respect for family values and sending the wrong message to kids.

    ReplyDelete