Friday, August 23, 2013


Can you be truthful with your husband? Really truthful? Being truthful is not the same thing as NOT LYING. You're not supposed to lie. Ever.  But are you "walking in the truth" as is described in 3 John 1:4 ?

Walking in Truth is much, much more than NOT LYING.  I mean, seriously, if you have to be told that you should stop lying..... need help that cannot be found in someone's blog..

Sadly... the foundational reason, according to God's Word, that people are going to be deceived in the Last Days and therefore PERISH ETERNALLY is  "because they refused to love the truth and so be saved."  (2 Thess. 2:10)  It seems incongruous to be a person who claims to be a follower of the One who described Himself as "Truth" and yet not love and embrace it. 

What does truth have to do with love?

Truth and Love are so closely connected from God's perspective that when LOVE is described in 1 Corinthians 13 we are reminded that that "love rejoices with the truth" (verse 6).  I asked you if you can be truthful with your husband.   But today's blog is encouraging you to focus on the other side of that question: 


Let me rephrase that:  Can your husband be truthful with you and not have three days of explosive rhetoric, or drama, tears, doors slamming and nuclear reactor size explosions?  From my experience in speaking with couples.... many husbands learn early in their marriage that their wives are not really "open" to walking in truth.. if the truth they need to walk in is something they don't want to embrace....or accept...  Many men are not willing to pay the high cost of honestly speaking...and who can blame them?
Do you REJOICE when you hear a truth coming from your husband's mouth?  Do you crucify him if he offers an honest answer to a question?   Truth sets people free.  Do you want to be free in your marriage?  Of course you do.

I often encourage women to create a 

"Tantrum Free Truth Zone Home"

Announce, or explain that you want TRUTH between you.. and that.. even if he has been reluctant to speak it in the past..for whatever reason... your tantrums.. or his selfishness... you want to change and allow him to be honest with you.. without fear of having to sleep on the sofa for the next three weeks.  You need to be sure that he knows - and that you know - that he doesn't need to be afraid to be truthful.  You need to show him that you want truth so much - you rejoice in the healing truth begins - that he can say anything and not be "punished" for it.

I'm not - NOT -  suggesting that you need to sit and let your husband destroy your spirit by telling you every single thing he does not like about you. 

But.. if he is struggling with something.. can he come to you.. his friend, his partner, and be honest about it?  Will you call him weak if he admits he struggles with something huge like online porn... ?  Or... Will you sulk if he says he really wants to have a quiet weekend this weekend and so can you ask your parents to visit another time?  Or... Can he tell you that he is overwhelmed with his job and needs to make a change without you hyperventilating about the fact that you think you'll lose your house if he looks for another job?   Or.... can he tell you that you are too loud in public?  Or that your appearance is being neglected?  Or that you are spoiling the kids?  Or... anything??? Can he tell you anything?  He should be able to tell you anything.  So many problems in marriages could have been avoided if truth had been spoken, and healing was initiated and two people walked in the freedom that truth rewards.  So ask yourself:  


Or have I given him the subliminal message that he needs to only tell me what I want to hear? 

Ask yourself:
How do I react to truth from my husband?  And then tell YOURSELF the TRUTH.

Because when you know the truth... it sets you free.
And when you know Jesus... you walk in truth. 

I love you.
I thank ALL OF YOU who are sending me emails...
And thank you for those of you who are encouraging others to sign up to receive this via email.  The list of email readers is EXPLODING.
Mrs. Older



  1. Ouch! Thank you but ouch!

  2. The truth.
    He feels used. Trapped. He says he married me because its what he thought was expected of him by his family. He's angry that he didn't get a chance to sow his oats-he point blank said he wants an open marriage. He wants to have sex with others, says he won't divorce me because he made a commitment. A divorce would be like admitting he was wrong, it would be like losing.
    He thought that after several years of marriage he could tell me about his need to be with other women and I would agree because I should want hi to be happy.
    That truth? What am I supposed to do with it?