Her email says, "We've grown apart. I know that's such a cliche thing to say but it's the question I have for Mrs. Older. We aren't unhappy with each other, just uninvolved. Life is too busy for us to have time for each other, and now, I feel closer to some of my friends than I do to my husband. We have a marriage, but really we are just going through the motions. The heart of it isn't there anymore."
To the older marrieds reading this, what advice would you give her? Have you had seasons in your marriage where you felt distant from your husband? What did you do?
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My answer is a simple one.. and Jesus gave it to me and you. Jesus doesn't settle for a "going-through-the-motions" relationship and He doesn't want you to either.
He was talking to a church that was "going
through the motions" and He was explaining to those people that He
wants white hot love from His followers, not luke-warm love.
And the interesting thing and the genius advice He gives is this, "Do the things you did at first." Evidently, He was saying that when you do the things you DID at first... you will FEEL the things you FELT at first. His advice to them about His relationship with them is advice for any relationship in which LOVE is the foundation.
IT'S TRUE that when children arrive, pressures of life arrive, exhaustion arrives, responsibilities arrive...just getting through the day is victory enough. But.. let me tell you something you've heard before. SOME DAY THE KIDS WILL BE GROWN AND GONE.
Your marriage will be there forever.
Today.. just take some time to think about what you did "at first". And don't concentrate on what HE did at first, and what HE isn't doing anymore. Though I'm sure you could make a long list if you tried.
But... Just for today.. think about how YOU were in the beginning.... it doesn't cost a thing to THINK about how you were. Were you a better listener? Did you complain less? Did you care about your appearance more?
And please... take the time to comment.