AN EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK,
"HOW TO MAKE A MEATBALL
Recipes For Living My Mother Taught Me"
“How I Prayed For You”
“May she who gave you birth be joyful!”
- Proverbs 23:25
My mother frequently reminded me that she prayed for me. That she wanted me very, very much. She says that she became a little concerned that she wouldn’t be able to have me as she was raising my brother. She wanted a daughter. So she prayed and prayed and prayed specifically for a little girl. After just a few months she found out she was expecting again. All my life she reminded me how much I was wanted. She said to me on several million occasions, “How I prayed for you. I prayed for you.” I never really understood how much security and self worth that instilled in the deepest part of my being until I grew up. She tells me that when my father saw me, he called everyone in the family to explode with the news, “She looks just like me!” (I do look just like my father.) She says my eight-year-old brother was thrilled too. (I’m not sure about the accuracy of that statement). All my life, the story I heard about my parent’s reaction to my birth is that I was wanted, and prayed for, and cherished and rejoiced over. All my life my mother was joyful that I existed. Just because I breathed air brought her great joy.
Which brings me to something I heard her teaching with great gusto to the moms who were in her spiritual care. She would ask some very pointed questions like: “Why did you tell your child he was a mistake? Do you realize that God creates life? Does God make mistakes?” What better way to make that kid feel unwanted than telling that kid he was unwanted?” It was a big parenting deal to my mother. It may not seem like a great big deal to many people, but try telling that to the person who went through life knowing he was “an accident.” She would often repeat this sentence, “If you have already made the mistake of telling your child he was a mistake, then you cannot take those words back. But you can add words that will help toward healing. Tell him that it was a mistake to tell him he was a mistake because he is the best thing that ever happened to you. Every child is a gift from God. It is God who creates life. Who has to audacity to tell God His gift is a mistake? His gift is an accident?” Great questions Mom, great questions.
Molly’s Meatball Lesson #59
The biggest mistake a parent can make is telling your child he was a mistake.
Don’t do it.