Tuesday, October 7, 2014


So, like, three hundred and forty seven years ago, when I was a new bride,
I was a "What About Him?" kind of follower of Jesus. 

You know, like Peter was. In John 21,  Here's Peter, having denied the Lord, and he's sitting and having a conversation with THE RESURRECTED Jesus..which is mind blowing in and of itself... and Jesus.. being full of mercy and love... is dealing with their Resurrected Relationship.  "Do you love me Peter? You do?  Well, feed my sheep if you do."

And Peter, being a lot like Mrs. Older was.. asked the Lord, "But what about him?" pointing to another follower of Jesus.  Jesus answered, "What is that to you? You must follow me.” (John 21:22)


Any Christian wife has got to remember that being a Christian wife means JESUS has RESURRECTED her RELATIONSHIP WITH HER HEAVENLY FATHER.

We are always to remember this.

We are RESURRECTED people. Here and now.  This humility of attitude is something Peter didn't have before the Holy Spirit arrived in his life.  This humility of attitude is something the Holy Spirit wants to cultivate in the life of every follower of Jesus.  Including wives.

Lots of times.. it's easy to fall in to a "What About Him?" attitude in our marriage.  We pray prayers that are like... "Well, Lord, what about him? He isn't obeying you. He isn't loving me like you do. He isn't laying down his life for me? He isn't being a spiritual leader. He's a failure. He's a weak person. What about him, Lord?"

We forget that the ONLY REASON we even have the right to discuss our husband's failures with God is because of our RESURRECTED RELATIONSHIP with Him.. thanks to our LORD JESUS... And when we ask the Lord those kinds of questions, sweet wives, Jesus answers us today as He answered Peter,   

"What is that to you? You must follow me.” 

I must do what God calls me to do in every area of my life.
I need the Holy Spirit to change me from a

"What about him?" kind of woman 

in to a 
"What about You" kind of woman.


"What about You, Lord?  What do YOU want me to do in this situation? What are you requiring of me, Lord? Do you want me to forgive? I will. Do you want me to have mercy? I will. Do you want me to submit? I will. Do you want me to prefer his needs right now? I will.  What about YOU LORD?"

My husband, BTW, is an amazing man of God. Kind. Tenderhearted. Loving. And STILL... I used to wait until HE was doing what HE was supposed to do as an excuse for not asking the real question.. "Lord, what about You?"

The answer to that question always starts with one word: OBEY.

After 45 years of marriage.. I can tell you that a wife whose main concern is obeying God is a wife whose God will take care of her. No matter what.

Thanks for sending me emails. I LOVE THEM. (awordtothewives@gmail.com)
Mrs. Older


  1. Oh Mrs. Older...your messages are always so timely. I have been too focused on what my GREAT husband is and isn't doing( for a really long time). He was a little down tonight and instead of letting him vent and then venting myself ( fuel on the fire)like I usually do...I offered some much needed heartfelt encouragement to him. I thanked him for being such a good provider and working so hard day after day...( aren't I great).

    After we hung up, I started thinking about HOW MUCH my husband really does for our family. My life would be very different without him. He has provided me with a beautiful car.. that I have not kept clean over the years, He has provided us with a beautiful shelter that I keep picked up... but clean would be a stretch. There is food on the table that he almost never gets to eat because he travels for work, I can homeschool and be with our children, training them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord....and what do I do? I turn around and make him feel like a spiritual midget in the home that he has provided. I would not even have the opportunity to walk our children through the Bible if my husband didn't sacrifice so much.He could take a "normal" job but then my kids would be in school and I would be a work. I focus on what he is and isn't doing, thinking or saying every second.

    For some reason I felt God tug at my heart this evening when my husband called. I thought to myself "I need to respect him"... so I tried to be my husbands comforter, encourager and friend for the first time in too long. I didn't preach or half listen...I heard his heart. When I did that, God was faithful to comfort, encourage and help me... to see my own sin. God impressed upon my heart that my husband really IS a good man. He has provided all of our needs ( with 6 kids that equals rock star status), he loves me and is much more patient with my flaws( I may have one or two)than I am of his.The Lord humbled me ( no easy task when a person is as perfect as I am) He told me that if I truly want to respect my husband, something I have been praying about, I need to start be being grateful for and being a good steward of everything he has provided. I have been giving 65% if I am honest. I am ashamed but I am also downright excited! I FEEL FREE. Now that God has allowed me to see this area of sin so clearly, I have confessed it and I know what to do to fix it. God is my faithful friend and so are you. I can not believe THIS was the post tonight. Sorry, this is overly chatty for a comment... but my cup runneth over.

    1. You know I love you Shauna. So proud of you. So proud. Thanks for posting this.