Sunday, June 15, 2014

"F.O.A." + "M.I.A." = "D.O.A." 4 MARRIAGE

"M.I.A." - is a military term which means "Missing In Action."  It's a broad term for a solider who is not where he (or she)  should be when he (or she)  should be there.  He (or she) could have been captured by the enemy, could have deserted, or could be hurt... no one really knows WHY that solider is not where they are supposed to be when they are supposed to be there.  It just means that when the war is being fought... the soldier who is supposed to be there holding down the fort.. is not there.

"F.O.A." is a term I am using for the words "Focus Of Attention."  I have found that in many marriages, it isn't a GREAT BIG DEAL that begins to erode the relationship. It's that one or both spouses are focusing on something (or someone) else.  When your "F.O.A." is "M.I.A." your marriage will be "D.O.A." in a very short time.

This happens a great deal to wives who have children.  The children become HER F.O.A. and she EXPECTS her husband to do the same.  Marriages which make the children the primary "F.O.A." are not healthy.   A husband can only endure SO MUCH of his wife's "F.O.A."  being on the "K.I.D."

It also happens to spouses who have demanding jobs.   Their policy seems to be "You just have to understand that you just have to understand" --- being ignored, being alone, being less important than the job, the clients, the boss, the company.

I just want to say today that you need to be careful to keep what's important in your focus at all times.

This is not rocket science marriage advice.
This is common sense.

Sometimes we all go through seasons when someone or something else NEEDS our attention more than our spouse does.  But the idea about a season is that IT ENDS.

Don't assume, Mrs. Younger, that your husband doesn't feel neglected about the fact that all you care about is the kids.

O.K.?  O.K.

NO ONE ON EARTH is SO BUSY.. that they cannot find ONE DAY out of seven to turn "The Machine" off and rest.... and reconnect with the only person God says you should becoming ONE with.

Mrs. Older

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