Wednesday, May 14, 2014

WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED TO SUPERMAN

This may not be an accurate description of you, your church and your pastor.  Still....Many people expect their pastor to be a Spiritual Superman.
They expect him to:
  • be"faster than a speeding bullet" when they have a problem;  
  • have X-Ray vision that sees through every person and every situation better than anyone in the room; 
  • be able to deflect criticizing bullets aimed at his heart and mind and spirit;
  • have the strength of one hundred men and never get tired;
  • have superhuman hearing abilities which will enable him to know when their family is in crisis without anyone ever telling him about it;
  • be able to fly to their side to help them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week; 
  •  make every story for every family have a happy ending every day, of every week, of every month, of every year;
  • And like Superman was just a low-paid reporter for The Daily Planet, many people believe that the pastor should be a low-paid reporter for God.  They expect him to give current and accurate news about God, what He's doing, what He wants, how to get Him to answer their prayers. And they want him to do if for the least amount of money they can possibly eek out. 
There is no earthly reason a man - and his wife and family -  would live with this kind of unrealistic expectation EXCEPT for the fact that GOD HAS CALLED HIM. GOD has HIS HAND on the man. 

When you are a wife who is married to a man that everyone expects to be a  Spiritual Superman, you have unique challenges that the average wife does not encounter.

  • The average wife is not surrounded by people who expect her husband to be MORE THAN the average guy.  They don't have to have a husband who is always expected to know MORE THAN those around him about the Bible; about being a husband; a father; a Christian; a leader and perfect human being. 
  • The average wife doesn't feel the pressure to watch every word she says about her family, her marriage, her problems, her weaknesses because it might cause people to think less of her husband's leadership abilities.
  • The average wife doesn't have to explain to hundreds of probing eyes where she got the money to buy a new dress, or patio furniture, or take a vacation somewhere. She doesn't have to hear snide remarks like, "Maybe we're paying your husband too much if you can afford that."
  • The average wife has a husband who eventually COMES HOME FROM WORK.  A pastor is always on call... and therefore.. so is his wife. 
  • The average wife doesn't have a husband whose immediate superior is God Himself.  She feels free to complain about long work weeks, and being ignored.  How can a wife compete with God's hand on her husband? She cannot.. and if she is a Godly wife.. she will not.
  • The pastor's wife has the added chore of being sure she is not a hindrance between the shepherd of God's flock and the sheep.
  • The pastor's wife understands that the people want to believe her husband is perfect in every way.  He isn't. Who is?  
Your pastor's wife is married to a man she fell in love with.  Your pastor's wife is a wife who longs to have time with her husband.  Your pastor's wife wants her husband to be home with HIS children just like you want your husband to be home with yours.  Your pastor's wife is doing all she can to be someone who helps her husband meet his call.

Superman never married Lois Lane.  How can you be Superman, helping others, and have a wife who needs you?  Exactly.
Be kind to your pastor's wife.
It isn't easy being married to Superman.
Superman gets all the credit, but his wife is laying down HER life for the sheep as well.
Appreciate her.
XO,
Mrs. Older
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1 comment:

  1. I go to a New Testament principles church. We don't have one pastor. We have elders and all of the men share in the duties of the church (the women all do their part also). This keeps everyone involved and active. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for one man (and his wife) to carry all the weight themselves.

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