Now imagine if... when the police officer stopped me.... I rolled down my window and looked at him and said, "WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME? Stop JUDGING me for speeding!" And what if I would have taken the citation and threw it out the window??? Threw it away as something not even worth reading. Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous.The police officer, technically, didn't JUDGE ME. He simply informed me that I was breaking the law and making me accountable for it.
THE JUDGE DECIDED WHAT MY PUNISHMENT WOULD BE.
I have driven over the speed limit many, many, many times and never got caught. And therefore never got judged for it. And for that reason never bothered to think about or care if I was driving a mere 13 miles over the speed limit. But that doesn't mean it's o.k. to speed. And honestly, the nicest thing someone could have done for me that day was to say, "Uh... there's a police officer up ahead and you are speeding right now." I would have slowed down. A simple act of taking my foot off the gas peddle. I would have obeyed the law. In the long run, the police officer did me a favor. He created a change in my behavior - I am very aware of obeying the speed limit and looking at the signs along the side of the road. I don't know how many speeding tickets his law enforcement has saved - and will save - me from in the future.
WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES MY SPEEDING TICKET HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR MARRIAGE?
ACCORDING TO THE MANY EMAILS I GET FROM WIVES... we have seemingly entered the season in Church History where telling anyone - especially husbands - that something he is doing is breaking God's law is JUDGING HIM. Really? Really. I am a little bit stirred up today because of the emails I have been receiving from wives. Now if you read this blog at all you know that I am not soft about wives who don't obey God's Word... but... really... the past several weeks all the emails I am getting is from desperate wives who cannot find anyone - not a pastor or a spiritual elder - to simply speak what God's Word says.
I hardly think it is judging a husband (or wife) for his pastor, or a spiritual elder to say to him in love,
- "You know, brother, I understand how much you like being able to have a girlfriend AND a wife and how great it is to blame your wife for you "needing" a mistress but God has ordained that a man be faithful to his wife and vice versa. No matter your reason or excuse, you have to do whatever you can to end the relationship with your mistress. Quit your job. Move. Whatever it takes, do it BECAUSE GOD EXPECTS HUSBANDS TO OBEY HIS LAW;... AND.....
- I know how much you like sitting in front of your computer looking at naked women because even Scripture acknowledges that 'sin has pleasure for a season'. I know you convince yourself that God doesn't see and/or doesn't care, but He does. Furthermore, the damage you are doing to your wife's self-esteem and the problem it will cause for you in the future is nearly unimaginable without God's intervention and healing. But first you have to understand that you must stop. Do whatever it takes - throw your computer out, be accountable to your wife or another brother, disconnect the internet... whatever.... but it is NOT O.K. and God DOES SEE what you are doing when you think no one knows or sees.... AND....
- I know you think God doesn't care when you scream at your wife and kids like a mad animal so that their very souls shake but He does... AND....
- I know you think it's o.k. to not provide for your wife because you don't want to have to get a job you don't like but it's not o.k.... AND....
- I know you're too embarrassed and/or pride filled to ask for help for that gambling/alcohol/drugs addiction....
- but..... brother..... you are BREAKING GOD'S LAW FOR HUSBANDS and it is hindering the way God deals with you and your prayers to Him. I understand that you don't really want to READ THE BIBLE...but you cannot just throw it aside. It's God's citation to all of us. It shows us when we break the Law. Brother, I love you so much that I cannot keep myself from telling you in love that your choices are going to bring heart wrenching consequences."
A few years ago, in my "other life" as a writer, I was able to spend a few hours interviewing author Francis Chan and his wife, Lisa. As I was closing the interview I asked him, "If you only had one thing to say to Christians in America and all over the world, what would you say?"
His response: "I would tell them to read the Bible and DO what it says."
And there you have it. Read the Bible and THEN do what it says.
REMEMBER... REMEMBER... REMEMBER...
Your Father in Heaven is The Judge of all that is....
He ALONE has the POWER to change your circumstances. Once again, the same and simple answer is....
Cry out to Him.
Pour your heart out to Him. Ask Him for strength and wisdom and the grace to know what to do, what to say and when to say it.
This is... ultimately... the great hope that you have.
That God cares.
That God hears and does not turn His ears from prayers of desperation.
That He will Judge in righteousness and truth.
In the meantime, clothe yourself with Love.
Leave your husband - and his actions - to the Judge of all that is.
When your Father is The Judge, He does not take lightly anyone mistreating His daughter.
HANG IN THERE.
You are not alone.
P.S. Today's devotional by David Wilkerson goes along with this.