Saturday, March 22, 2014


“We often miss opportunity because it's dressed in overalls and looks like work”  - Thomas Edison

In the whiny world of "what is wrong with husbands" we often deal with the BIG stuff like adultery, addiction, physical abuse, his mother - but there is a huge sea of silently suffering sisters out there whose husbands have a sinister sickness that is slippery and difficult to address. It is  "THE LAZY MAN"
Today...I write to the wife out there who has a LAZY husband and cannot find help anywhere.  I offer you



"Lazy people consider themselves smarter than seven wise counselors." - Prov. 26:16.

This guy walks in to a room, and although he has no success in life to point to, he gives everyone advice about what they are doing, how they should do it and has a superior attitude as he speaks.   You can find him telling a pilot how to fly a plane, a pastor how to run a church, a musician how to have a music career, an auto mechanic how to fix a car. The recipients of his advice are often too polite to point out to Smarter Than All Of Us that he has no success or credentials to validate his opinion about anything. EVER.


The lazy person claims, “There’s a lion on the road! Yes, I’m sure there’s a lion out there!”  
The lazy person says, “There’s a lion outside! I’ll be killed in the public square!”  
Proverbs 26;13 and Proverbs 22:13

If you talk to this husband.... he knows that if he calls someone they won't answer the phone; if he fixes something it will only break again;  if he tries to work on his marriage it won't do any good; if he applies for a better job, he won't get it.  He KNOWS what is going to happen before he even tries.  His attitude, "Why bother?" is the reason he doesn't.  Bother, that is.

As a door swings back and forth on its hinges, so the lazy person turns over in bed. 
But you, lazybones, how long will you sleep? When will you wake up?
Proverbs 26:14; Proverbs 6:9

There is something about this guy that makes him think he has a right to relax all the time. All the time. He resents any job or any person who interferes with his RIGHT to relax... He thinks life is about doing whatever is FUN.. and work, to him, is NOT FUN....He is always the last one in the family to get out of bed.

“Those unwilling to work will not get to eat.”  2 Thessalonians 3:10

When my husband was a pastor, a couple with young children started to attend our church.  We later realized that they had made the rounds of most of the churches in our city.  This man saw himself as a minister, although he was not ordained, and spent his days handing out tracts on the street.  His wife was terrified her children would not have food, and that they would be evicted.  When she went to him with her terror....he would tell her to "trust the Lord."  Those of us who loved her saw what was happening and we would give her money, food, clothing. How can you let a woman only have a bag of rice in her cupboard?  When we would do this, his answer to her would be, "See?  God provided."    There are men who are out of work and cannot find jobs.. especially in our society today.. AND WE MUST HELP ONE ANOTHER... but.. this guy felt his "ministry" excluded him from having a job. When my husband spoke to him about his laziness, they left the church.   But in Thessalonians.. they addressed the problem head on - "If you don't work.. if you don't TRY to work... maybe hunger pangs will change your tune"   Furthermore, if you read the verses BEFORE the one listed above, you see that Paul was telling the people that THEY WORKED as an EXAMPLE to them.  They never took anything without paying for it. 

"She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness.
Proverbs 31:27 

His wife is a Proverbs 31 kind of woman and covers for him most of their lives.  No one sees the work she does behind the scenes.  She and her husband both know that it is SHE who keeps things together in their family.  This makes him even lazier.  He knows if something needs to be done, his wife will do it.  Why should he get himself worked up about it?  She'll do it.  The solution would seem to be for the wife to STOP doing everything... but... most women don't want their children... or themselves.. to have to suffer for HIS laziness.. 

This is long enough for now.  I will finish with the next five reasons in the next blog.  I am certainly NOT INTENDING to bash husbands.  But I wonder why we don't deal with this issue when it rears it's destructive head?

Proverbs 18:9 teaches us that 

"A lazy person is as bad as someone who destroys things."
"One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys.


HAVE HOPE, DEAR WIFE... because..God hears the prayers of a woman who is married to a lazy man.  GOD IS NOT BLIND.  He will protect you- even when your husband isn't willing to.  JESUS CARES that your husband DOESN'T care. Cast this upon Him... He cares for you.

What do you think?
Leave your comments.
Also, thank you AGAIN to so many of you who are signing up to receive this by email. (UPPER RIGHT CORNER)
Mrs. Older


  1. Do you think a better title is in store for this...It's not hard to get to you thinking all men are lazy. Not an uncommon thought amongst women "who are never happy" and amongst women "who can't see beyond themselves" to see what some men do. Like those generalities...because they are just as real as "men being lazy".

    It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that yes indeed some men are lazy, but the vast majority are not. In fact, most women couldn't do our jobs but they are still considered lazy by some of their wifes.

    I think your post Mrs. Older could be much more specific on both sides, that some men are indeed lazy and these are the reasons why and some men are thought of as lazy but are anything but...with this you are doing as much harm as good in some womens minds.

  2. Good point about the title, dear Anonymous. A better one might have been Ten Reasons Why SOME Men are Lazy....I agree completely.... BUT... BUT....but..

    I thought that when I said in the opening paragraph "Today...I write to the wife out there who has a LAZY husband and cannot find help anywhere" that I was being clear about WHO the BLOG was directed to. I wasn't writing to every wife about every husband, but specifically to the wife who DOES. I think, perhaps, that you have been the recipient of being called "LAZY".. ??? True? And you are not. True? And perhaps this hit the proverbial sore spot?
    And yes... there could be much good in a blog which points out... "the reasons why and some men are thought of as lazy but re anything but"... but... that wouldn't have accomplished my purpose.. which was to COMFORT.... and ENCOURAGE.... and GIVE HOPE to women who ARE MOST DEFINITELY married to a lazy man. The article you suggested WOULD be wonderful for a man who is NOT LAZY but is accused of being lazy to read... but it wouldn't really remind the wife of a lazy man that GOD is not happy when someone is lazy. And that, furthermore, according to Scripture, laziness destroys... HAVING SAID ALL THAT.. let me close by saying.. that I am HONORED to see that someone's HUSBAND reads this blog. I appreciate the MALE perspective... but always remembering that the blog's title is clear about my target audience. Sadly, lazy husbands exist... and even sadder... few churches deal with the destructive issue. Keep reading... and feel free to comment again. XO, Mrs. Older.

  3. My point being the general attitude within the church and amongst women these days (along with the media, etc) is that men are lazy. I mean we are supposed to put in our 40-60 hours and then come home and play Mr. Mom, all the while keeping up the outside "men's work" chores of changing the oil, mowing the yard, fixing the plumbing, etc.

    So in other words, if you don't define lazy, you are doing as much harm as good. Yes, I agree there are lazy men. But are there not just as many or more who are considered lazy, but are not and all this post does without defining what is lazy is compound the problem. I can agree that this post can and would be a great help to a wife of a lazy man...because, as I will admit amongst my gender those who are indeed worthlessly lazy (and the number is growing daily). Will you however admit that amongst your gender there is growing number or spoiled, uncontent, that wouldn't be happy if they married Jesus types (or lived in the garden of eden?!). Just define the problem.j

    And no you did not hit a sore spot. I have my faults, but being lazy is not one of them. If anything I work too hard. However, I am constantly bothered by the amount of women's blogs that push how much we are supposed to help do dishes, vacuum the floor and change diapers and how if we aren't throwing on an apron the minute we walk in the door we are lazy. It's an attitude that's crept into the church alongside the feminism and quite frankly the teaching does far more harm than good.

    1. Ahh... well point well taken... defining lazy. I will do so in Part Two. Thank you. Not only will I ADMIT that, as you say, "there is a grwoing number of spoiled, uncontent, taht wouldnt be happy if they married Jesus types"......IT IS MY RAISON D'ETRE.... my main focus. I would also add the word ENTITLED... because Christian women seem to lean toward feeling ENTITLED to a husband who DIES FOR THEM. I feel, perhaps, if you read some OTHER of my entries... you would see that I agree with you more than you may realize. There are many hard hitting blogs to wives...with titles like "Join The Team Woman"... "The White Lie Wife", "News Flash - Your Husband Is Not Your Girlfriend", "Open The Prison Door", "Why Does He Do That?" and a series of blogs under the heading "With Her Own Hands." I REALLY appreciate the comment.. and I REALLY agree with most of what you said. I agree that a feminist attitude is and has been creeping in to the church. I agree. Have a great day... and thanks again.

    2. Women work too, plus come home and work again.

  4. Mrs. Older,
    Okay, I will take your word for it (on your other posts) and if that is the case offer my apolagies...I don't see a lot of hard hitting christian blogs to women (although there are a few), mostly ones catering to their "feelings" and have no regard for how protecting a wife's "feelings" does to her other half. Forgive me for my orneriness.

    1. Ultimately, Mr. Anonymous, it is self-ish-ness that destroys. Whether our particular selfishness manifests through laziness, or anger, or jealousy, or pride or lack of compassion - it destroys. Only the love of God, through the power of The Holy Spirit can cause a person - husband or wife - to love and prefer someone else. That is the Message of Jesus, isn't it? The idea that Someone came here to SERVE and NOT BE SERVED... is His example for we, His followers. When my first priority is to be what Jesus is......then proving my point, or standing my ground... especially in my marriage.......becomes so secondary to being like Jesus to the world around me. I have also found, in my 44 years of marriage, that God is able to defend and protect me when my husband is being unfair... and the same can be said for him... when I am being unfair. So then... thank you for your constructive words.. thank you for reading... I am, in my real life, a writer. And at the moment I am facing some hard deadlines... BUT... in a few days.... when I write part two... I promise I will consider your words.. and do my best to DEFINE LAZINESS.