Saturday, March 1, 2014


He loved his mother first.  Long before you walked on the scene there was HIS MOTHER.
I'm not saying he loves his mother MORE than he loves you but the honest truth is that he loved her first. 

I am surprised at how rarely I find a young wife who grasps that learning about his mother - and the way he feels about her -  is the core of discovering who your husband really is. And what he really thinks about the kind of wife and mother you are, or will be.

So then, let me begin by saying what I am NOT SAYING.  I'm not saying imitate his mom, listen to his mom, let his mom be a third person in your marriage.  Chances are he doesn't want you to be like his mom in any way.

But you cannot escape the reality that this little boy who grew up to be your husband got his first ideas about women, wives, and mothers from his mom. What was important to her?  Do you know? Was it....Holidays?  Dinner time? Birthdays? Keeping the house spotless? Getting good grades in school?  Keeping up with the neighbors? Ask him.  Did he like that she made a big deal about those things?

So then...say... your husband's mom always made a big deal out of birthdays.... and that made him feel loved and happy..... then you might understand why he feels slighted that you hardly remembered to acknowledge it.
Maybe he hated that she fussed so much... so you might understand why he gets annoyed that you do.

Ask him what he loved about his mom.
Ask him what he didn't love about his mom.
His answers will be a spotlight to his heart for you.
It's only KNOWLEDGE.  It's just knowing stuff..
Knowledge is helpful...
But...take that KNOWLEDGE...AND -  ask the Lord to give you WISDOM about how to use it.  To become a wife who is truly "HOME" in her husband's life.

Let me know what happens.
Send me an email...

Mrs. Older


  1. Woo-Hoo, Mrs. Older! You hit the nail on the head with this article. Excellent advice. Keep up the good work.

  2. This was so good...and every time I write a post lately, I then catch up on what you've written and we've written about the same thing! I PROMISE I'm not copying you!!

    1. Elizabeth!!! I copied in order to paste your article "How To Be A Terrible Daughter-In-Law and saw this comment. I am posting you whole post in on my blog today. (Hope that's o.k.). It is FANTASTIC. Thank you.