"What are you doing in here?", I asked her.
"I hate football, I never watch it" - she quipped as she turned the page in her magazine. Poor child.. She thought the discussion was over. Discussions are NEVER over when "Older" is around.
I said, "You hate it SO MUCH that you cannot sit in the room with your husband for two hours while the game is on?" Well, sooner or later we got to the real point, which was that she RESENTED how much her husband loved the game and was angry that he preferred it over her. "Oh... so this is a temper tantrum?" I thought.
I asked her how many hours a week her husband was at work. Probably fifty hours a week, we decided. We discovered that he really didn't like his job. Three hours a week mowing the lawn, which he really didn't LOVE to do, but did. Plus four hours a week staying home with the kids so she could take a pottery class, three hours a week preparing his small group lesson. After listing all the hours every week that he did stuff he was required to do it came to over 85 hours a week. The poor guy loved his home town and loved watching football. And she made a big fat federal case out of it. Even though he devoted HIS LIFE to making HER LIFE better.
"And you think he doesn't love you because he spends two hours a week watching a football game?", I asked with a very accusatory tone. She was young. I forgave her stupidity. She took her tea and came in to the living room with the rest of us.
And there, my dear Mrs. Youngers is a lesson to be learned about being married to a man...
Just because he loves something else a lot doesn't mean he loves you less.
Let me give you some advice...ok? A WISE WOMAN understands that she joined her husband's team when they got married... and NOT the other way around....and if your husband likes football... then you learn all about it. You don't have to love it but you should be able to talk to him about it.
If it's fishing... then learn fishing.
If it's golf...then learn golf.
If it's hunting... then learn hunting.
If it's car racing.. then learn car racing.
You don't have to GO fishing, GO golfing, GO hunting... but you should at least KNOW ABOUT it enough so that you can discuss it with him. And for the name of all that is HOLY.. let the man enjoy something in his life... PLEASE.. .He doesn't love you LESS just because he wants to watch a football game, or go fishing or hunting or watch a car race on TV
My sweet young friend called me a few weeks later to say, "I "joined" the football team and I really am getting to LOVE THE GAME." She bought a team jersey for herself and her husband, and she sits there WITH HIM and watches the game. She says, "I can't explain it. It's such a small thing, but he APPRECIATES me liking football". Smart woman.
What does your husband love? Do you love it too?
Do you love you husband? Then love what he loves.
Do you have some experience with this that you might share with other wives?
If so, send me an email and I will tell your story... I won't share your name... Promise.
Email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
I love you,