Wednesday, October 10, 2012


In December, my husband and I will be married.........uh.....oh..... ("Hon" I yell in to the next room, "How many years will we be married this December?".... He answers, "44?", without much conviction.    So I go to the reliable method and use my fingers.... 1969 to 1970 is 1, 1970 to 1971 is 2...................etc.).
In December my husband and I will be married 43 years("Hon, it's 43, right? Use your fingers"........"Hon, what do you think?".........He's counting.  Finally he says, "Yes... 43". -  Scientific research confirmation)

He is a good man.  I am a good woman. We were high school sweethearts. We love each other.  BUT - That's not the secret to our successful 43 year marriage.  (CLICHE ALERT.  CLICHE COMING)   The key is that we love God more than we love each other. 

BUT.........THE..........TRUTH can love God more than you love each other and STILL want to whack him with a fly swatter from time to time.  You can love God more than you love each other but not love each other ENOUGH.  Husbands disappoint wives.  Wives disappoint husbands.  Husbands can be mean, or angry, or bitter, or unfaithful and so can wives.
And you may turn to God with all your hurt and say to God,

"I don't trust him."

God's answer is like,   "O.K.  I don't blame you...... But.... do you trust Me?" 

To understand the woman who tears her own house down with her own hands -  you have to understand that at the CORE of her heart of anger - the anger that will eventually destroy her own home at her own hands is....

her lack of faith in God.
The Bible calls it unbelief.  And unbelief really bothers God.
Sometimes it's because she asks God for answers and it seems like He doesn't send any.  But that doesn't mean He isn't working. God knows what to do better than we do.   God knows how to get the attention of a man who isn't loving HIS daughter. 

Either you believe that God is willing and able and longing to come to your aid... or you don't.
And when a woman believes that her husband doesn't care.. and neither does God.. then she takes matters in to her own angry hands... and stone by stone dismantles her home. 
It may take weeks, months or years.. but once you're on the "Why should I trust God? Why should I do what He wants? Nobody else does" path... 
It's only a matter of time. It's only a matter of time.
Maybe your husband ISN'T trustworthy ............but God is.
Maybe your husband DOESN'T love you ,,,,,,,,,,but God does.
Maybe your husband CANNOT understand your heart. but God hears every whisper inside.

God is fair even when people around you are unfair.  
Do you believe that?
If you would just try giving your husband to your Heavenly Father... 
And if you really don't believe that God cares enough to do anything about it... God already KNOWS that's the way you feel. Ask Him for faith to trust Him. Admit you don't have it.
Ask for it... and He will help you.
And then just REST that HE WILL HELP YOU...
Does it sound too simple for you? Is it too simplistic and easy?  Perhaps. But it's the truth anyway. 
God cares.  Give your husband TO HIM and ..
You will see the anger slowly ebbing away...
And faith slowly rising.

When you don't trust your husband to keep from hurting you again......
You can trust God.
Do you?
Mrs. Older.

P.S. Remember that you can sign up to follow by email.  And if you are here because you saw a link to this in a magazine story I wrote.. I say welcome readers.


  1. A friend suggested this blog. I am so thankful she did. You have a way of taking things that seem so complicated and making them easy. I need more faith in God. I never knew I could just ask him for it.

  2. Whoever you are, your simplicity is refreshing and reminds me of how my saint of a mother spoke to me when I was growing up. She is gone now but it is good to hear her heart again through yours.

  3. I celebrated my 40th anniversary on the date of this writing and it was like you wrote it for me. Even though I didn't read it until today (10-15)I can assure you that it was for me. :) Okay, maybe other women also. Anniversaries are the very hardest days for me even after all of these years but God keeps teaching me and allowing me to grow closer to my husband by loving HIM deeper. My husband might always be the way he is to me, but GOD will also!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Thank you and Blessing's to you, Cindy