Every now and then I get an email that says what I want to say better than I can say it. After yesterday's blog... about the angry woman... "Tina' sent me the following email. I asked her permission to use her words and "Tina" is not her real name. She says,
"When I read your blog today, I took the time to say a prayer that women who are angry would not get angry at what you said, but would be honest about looking to the Lord after looking at their anger. Admitting you are angry is the hardest thing for an angry woman to do. I grew up in an abusive home. My father molested me more than a few times and my mother did not protect me. Ten years ago, our pastor's wife at the time took me out to lunch and did the most loving thing anyone has ever done. She confronted me about my behavior. She pointed out to me that my cutting and sarcastic remarks to my husband and others were doing a great deal of harm to those who heard them - especially my husband and my children. She reminded me of some publicly demeaning things I'd said about my husband and his job and how he was not a good provider. She tried to explain to me how deeply this was destroying my husband who was a hard worker and trying to get ahead in his career. She tried to show me that my husband was a good guy who loved me. She told me she was worried about my flirting attitude. She said that I was very angry and hard on my children. I was highly offended, and we left the church. I was addicted to pornography and introduced it to our marriage.
Two years ago, my husband had an affair. I told everyone about it. I wanted to show the world he was not the good guy everyone thought he was. I'm not saying he was right in what he did, but I do have to admit that I don't know how he put up with me as long as he did. I hated him, his friends, his family and mocked everything he loved. He moved out for nine months and in with his girlfriend. I called that pastor's wife and she and her husband were more than willing to help us heal our home. She got us in to counseling. My husband moved back home. And with God's help we have been healing our marriage. Our children are just now, after two years, not crying every time Daddy leaves. They are afraid he will not return. I know that some women reading this will think that I am excusing my husband's sin and I am not. But I will say that the root of all the destruction was my unwilliingness to deal with my deep rage at authority, at men and at any woman who seemed to have had a better life than I did. And what you said yesterday will seem so simple that many will ignore it, but I have found that looking to the Lord, finding my hope in Jesus IS the only way I could ever heal inside. It is truth that when you just simply admit to God that you desperately need his help, he helps you. My unwillingness to admit how angry I was is how I destroyed my own home. I am not completely healed, but I am willing to admit I need to be. Please keep being honest with women."
That's what she said.
Leave your comments.
XOXO,
Mrs. Older
I am angry. I admit it.
ReplyDelete