Tuesday, April 10, 2012


"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."  Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)
SADLY... SADLY... SADLY... many of us do not heed this warning until it is too late.  We deceive ourselves in to believing that a little resentment, a small little anger, some tiny envy, a seed of selfishness, some good old fashioned rebelliousness won't matter because no one can see it.  But the Bible says that what you DO is always a direct result of what you ARE INSIDE. So then....
"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your MARRIAGE."   I have never counseled a couple in crisis - NEVER - and found that both parties had hearts of love, acceptance and forgiveness toward one another.  I have never seen a marriage self-destruct when both people were diligently praying for LOVE. I cannot remember one situation where a marriage was in trouble and both people were being diligent to prefer one another, to submit to one another, to love one another as Jesus loves them. 
What I have found is that slowly, without anyone noticing, one or both people become self-absorbed. It can be because of disappointment, grief, or struggle. The focus is on "ME, ME, ME" without regard to what that's doing to the "US, US, US" of marriage.  When we focus on anything but the PROMISES and FAITHFULNESS of GOD.. we are focused on the wrong thing. 
Lest you think "Mrs. Negative" wrote this column today, I want to tell you that the good news is that you CANNOT - in your own strength - guard your own heart.  That's good news?  Yes... because... God knows us better than we know ourselves.  It will take a nuclear sized explosion inside for us to be the kind of people we need to be.  AND HE GIVES THE POWER - HIS VERY HOLY SPIRIT - TO CHANGE YOUR HEART.  
How?  First admit to yourself and to God that your heart needs work. Then admit that you don't know how to do the work on your own. Then tell Him that you are willing to allow the Holy Spirit to change you. 
Then...relax... go eat a bagel... have a cup of coffee.. praise God... love God... read The Bible... go to church... love others... and just keep telling God that you WANT to be fixed inside... and HE WILL DO THE FIXING.   In His Time.
Yes...HE WILL.
OK... I love you all.
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Mrs. Older


  1. It is like you have inside information about me, Mrs. Older, because every time I read what you have written I feel like you are speaking directly to me. Thank you for this. I have some bitterness I need God to take away from my heart.

    1. Jennifer... that's funny. The Holy Spirit has a way of taking words someone says or writes and then...giving them LIFE inside that person's heart. Thanks for your comment.

  2. Anna, Clearfield, PAApril 10, 2012 at 10:14 AM

    I want to say that I appreciate that you always remind us that God is the one who has to do the work. So many churches nowadays give us the impression that if we just go to this marriage class or read a particular marriage book we will have all the answers.Your words remind me that God is the one who has all the answers and that he really wants to help me be a better wife, and I just need to rememer to ask him.

    1. Anna, that's true. Thank you for posting a comment. And keep reading... thanks... thanks.. thanks.

    2. I needed to read this today.You have great godly wisdom.

    3. Joy Ellen, Thank you for taking the time to comment. God gives wisdom to the foolish things of the world. I thank Him for helping me when I needed it. Please keep reading.

  3. Thank you. Thank you.