Wednesday, January 25, 2017


I bought a new iPhone SE a few months ago.  I waited for this model because it is smaller in size and fits in to my hand more easily.  Ever since I bought it, however, my friends tell me that when I hold the phone on my left ear they cannot hear me clearly. When I switch to my right ear, everything is fine.  As unusual as this sounds, the "genius" people who work at the Apple store have confirmed this.  Left ear - static.  Right ear - clear.  So they replaced the phone. And the problem persists with the new phone.  They have no idea what is causing it.  Their next attempt is to reset the phone back to it's original settings because evidently some app or something I am transferring from one phone to another is causing the glitch.   

And so, with marriage.  Over the months and years of being married, we add more and more "apps."  We transfer them from year to year and season to season.  We have added careers, mortgages, children, in-laws, church membership and so many "apps" to what was once an "app free" marriage - a relationship that existed because LOVE could not endure it NOT EXISTING.  You could not live without one another.  

And now...  we have "hopes that have died app", "dreams that no longer exist app" , and "emotional pain that cannot be seen app".  We have added the "worry" app, the "anger" app, the "resentment" app.  And so, all we get is static when we try to become one with the "Other One In This Marriage."

So, Mrs. Older thinks it might be a good idea to "reset" and "delete" some of those apps that are making marriage a static and confusing thing in your life.   

I imagine this will be a series of blogs because, let's face it, who wants to read a 300,000 word blog...Hahahahaha.. (that's how you know I'm old.. I type "haha" instead of "LOL")

What is the #1 Basic of Marriage?


Seriously.  You will not believe how many couples I speak to who have overlooked this most basic of basics of marriage.  

Genesis 2:24 says:  "So a man will leave his father and his mother and be united with his wife and the two will become one body." (NCV)

In our anger fueled society, the thought of being so connected to someone else that you cannot find where he begins and you end seems like a bad thing.  It isn't.  It is how LOVE is supposed to be.
So close that you breathe as one.
So close that you care for the other as you care for yourself. 
So close that his joy is your joy, his pain is your pain, his dream is your dream.

God doesn't want you to lose yourself.
He wants you to find someone who knows you in the most intimate way and wants to be connected to you forever.  
Isn't that what you crave?
Love that loves the real you?

That's what God sent to us all when He sent Jesus.
The Bible tells us that earthly marriage carries a mysterious similarity between Jesus and The Church.  Jesus And His Body.

If our view of marriage can be skewed and confused by the father of lies... then... our view of Jesus and His love for His Body fades in to the background.  The Love App... we lose it.

LOVE always wants to be ONE with the recipient of that Love.
LOVE always craves the Other.
Doesn't it?
Yes, it does. 

If we never understand that the most BASIC element of marriage is becoming one.. then we will be like I was with my phone.  

We will find a replacement, and will be sorely disappointed when the new "phone" has the same problem as the first one.  It isn't the phone that's defective it's the app we have transferred over.  It isn't "Marriage" that's defective but the apps that we transfer to it.


Stay tuned. Because I am devoted to being the kind of woman of God who doesn't take her instruction to teach the younger women lightly. I am not wiser. I am not mistake free.  I am simply older. I am Mrs. Older.  

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I love you,
Mrs. Older

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