Wednesday, February 10, 2016

WHEN YOUR HUSBAND GIVES YOU HIVES

"Hives" - a rash of round, red welts on the skin that itch intensely, sometimes with dangerous swelling, caused by an allergic reaction.

It's a temporary affliction - having hives. It's a surprise. It's a sign that your body has come in to contact with something that your body reacts to in a negative way.  Usually it's something you've eaten, or something you've touched.  Most people simply go to the store, buy some kind of antihistamine, and in a few hours, all is back to normal.

But if you keep eating the same food, or keep touching the same stuff, YOU WILL GET HIVES AGAIN. The ultimate cure is to identify what is causing the hives, and stay away from it. So, then, let's say you discover that you are allergic to an ingredient in a new vitamin drink you've started to drink.  What do you do? DUH.  You stop buying the drink. You stop drinking the drink. You don't TOUCH the drink.
  • You don't stand in your kitchen telling the drink to stop having the ingredient that is giving you hives.  No, you accept that you cannot change the drink.
  • You don't complain to everyone about how annoyed you are at the vitamin drink. No, you accept that if you simply avoid the drink, your hives are history.
 Pretty obvious, Mrs. Older.  What does that have to do with my husband?

The longer you are married, the more you will be surprised to discover that suddenly your husband is doing something, or saying something that will IRRITATE YOU. I hate to be the Big Bubble Breaker, but so many women expect marriage to be something else.  Something not realistic. Something that doesn't give you hives from time to time.

Trust me.  Someday without expecting it, something about your husband will give you hives - will irritate everything about you.  These Husband Hives become the only thing you can focus on. You are NOT able to IGNORE this irritation.  You will keep getting these hives until you identify what is causing them. Let me help you identify the irritant, and then let me suggest a cure.

You may THINK the cause of your irritation - your hives -  is that he doesn't spend money wisely, or his mother has too much influence over him, or he isn't the spiritual leader in the home that you want him to be.  THAT IS NOT THE CAUSE OF YOUR IRRITATION.

The cause of your irritation is that you think YOU are the cure.
You cannot change him. Not with words. Not with actions.
 The cure to these HUSBAND HIVES is to stay away from the irritant.

Stay away from handling it, examining it, discussing it, touching it.
 Stay away from keeping it in your hands, in your words, in your emotions, and in your spirit. 
HOW? 
GIVE IT TO GOD. SAY YOUR WORDS, BUT SAY THEM TO GOD!
IT'S CALLED "PRAYER"

Do not keep touching the subject of his mother and her influence! Unless you like hives.

Do not keep drinking the anger of his spending habits. Unless you enjoy big, red, blotchy irritants all over your spirit and your mid. 

Do not keep chewing on the injustice that he is not a spiritual leader in the home. Unless you want to have hissy hives.

Step back. Step away. 
And give the irritant to God.

Don't be surprised, though, if while you are praying about the Husband Hives, the Lord shows you something about Wife Welts and that your husband is asking God to help HIM deal with the things YOU DO that are irritating him. 
This cure - giving it to the Lord in real and honest prayer- is not something most women will accept.  Most women know it is ridiculous to scream at the bottle holding the vitamin drink that holds the ingredient giving them hives.  Most women would never spend hours, crying in front of the bottle, telling the bottle how heartbreaking it is that they will not - refuse to - change their ingredients. 

Sadly, many women don't see how ridiculous it is to think that screaming at their husbands will do a thing. Many women think if they can only convince - their husbands, their friends, their pastor - that what Mr. Husband is doing is WRONG, WRONGER, and WRONGEST - and giving them hives - that it will stop the irritation. It won't.  Justifying your annoyance at him never stops the husband hives. 

Most women NEVER get the truth that THEY HAVE NO POWER TO CHANGE THEIR HUSBANDS.
BUT GOD DOES.

Prayer is your ONLY answer. THE ONLY answer that will bring a CURE. 
If you want an instant emotional antihistamine to take away the annoying hives your husband is causing... you will life a life of utter, skin-scratching dismay. Pray. Every day. And give God time to change things. To change your husband. To change you.

You cannot change your husband with your words.
The only way your words will change your husband is when you offer them to God.
Give your husband - and the hives he is giving you - to the Lord.
Believe me, the skin you save will be your own. 

XO,
Mrs. Older

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1 comment:

  1. Thank you for this!

    I've got a full blown case of the husband hives right now and I have been trying to scratch the itch all weekend.

    Thank you for the reminder to step away and give it to God.

    ReplyDelete