Sunday, August 23, 2015


Married life would be great if every day was like our wedding day and our honeymoon.  Not so much because we want to live on a beach, or spend decades in our wedding gown...but because of the way we felt about one another.  On your wedding day, your husband saw no (or little) fault in you... and you felt the same way about him.  I know very few people, who, on their wedding day thought, "How will I endure life with this baboon of a man?"   I'm not saying people like that do not exist... I'm saying I don't know them.  And so the "honeymoon" is over when that small seed of his disapproval takes root in your heart. If you are not careful, sweet princess, it will grow big enough to crush it. 

I believe that the core of every marital breakdown begins with that first tiny seed of disapproval that our spouse knowingly or unknowingly plants inside our heart.

Suddenly, one day, you are no longer his perfect princess but a clutzy clown who just ruined his favorite golf shirt; or a whiny wretch who insists he look up from his cell phone at dinner; or a needy nagger who keeps spending too much money.

Let's face it, it hurts to see that glow in his eyes fade away. And that's the problem with so many wives I know. We spend our lives trying to make it reappear.  It hurts to lose our princess crown. It hurts to see him see us differently.

And once again, we learn from Jesus and His example. One minute He was popular with the crowds, the next minute they wanted to kill Him.  His example is that He did not allow His peace AND HIS TRUE IDENTITY to be based on what other people thought about Him. HE IS THE ONLY SON OF THE ONLY GOD. That didn't change because people's opinion of Him did.

John 2:23-25 reads, "Because of the miraculous signs Jesus did in Jerusalem at the Passover celebration, many began to trust in him. But Jesus didn’t trust them, because he knew all about people. No one needed to tell him about human nature, for he knew what was in each person’s heart." 

Jesus knew that people will change their opinion of you when you stop doing what they want you to do.  He wasn't moved by people's changing opinions.  And you shouldn't be moved either. Even if that person is your husband.

If you've been reading this blog for any time at all, you know that I'm all for trying to do our best to please our husbands.  Look our best.  Speak our best. Love our best. 
But some of you are allowing your every day to rise or fall based on your husband's approval rating of you.  And in so doing, you have lost sight of the Eternal Prince who continues to see you as perfect. 

Obsessing about what your husband thinks about you seems like the right and Godly thing to do. Spending time focused on looking perfect, being perfect, doing things perfectly in order to get him to applaud you seems wise.  It isn't wise to focus on a person so intently that you lose sight of the LORD WHO LOVES YOU the same way yesterday, today and forever.  I encourage you to not lose sight of whose crown has been placed on your head and will never be taken away.

Jesus loves you.  If your husband doesn't... tell Jesus.  Ask Jesus to change his heart. Pour your heart out to Jesus. 
Focus on pleasing the Prince of Peace and He will take care of the rest.

Your royal husband delights in your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord
Psalm 45:11

I love you.
Thank you all for your kind words of sympathy and all your emails. 
Mrs. Older

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