Friday, September 26, 2014


People have lots of opinions about tattoos... and so let's not discuss your opinion about tattoos.. let's look at the picture.  I think this picture says ten thousand words about how God looks at a married couple.  They are no longer two.. but together they make one new beautiful creation.  This is you and your husband before God. Two people becoming ONE NEW AND BEAUTIFUL THING.  

True, the left hand isn't the right hand and the right hand isn't the left hand.   BUT... in order to see the whole picture.. BOTH hands must meet as one.  Everything about that picture is incomplete without the other hand. 

Now, the left hand doesn't NEED the right hand to survive... and neither does the right hand.  The left hand can do lots of stuff on its own - as can the right hand.  BUT.... in order for the world to see THE WHOLE PICTURE OF WHO THEY ACTUALLY ARE... they must be close. They must be as one. 

Today... I just want to remind my sweet Mrs. Younger readers that your husband's reputation is in your hands.  Furthermore, HIS REPUTATION becomes your reputation and vice versa.  WHY?  You are one.  The Bible tells us in Proverbs 22:1 -

"Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold."

What is your husband's reputation according to the words you speak about him and to him?

Today...think about the words you say ABOUT your husband.  In front of the children; in front of your extended family; in front of your friends and neighbors.

Today... think about the words you say TO your husband.  In front of the children; in front of your extended family; in front of your friends and neighbors.

A wife who publicly tears her husband down with her words is tearing herself down at the same time.

A wife who publicly honors her husband with her words is honoring herself at the same time. 

I have heard some women... in an effort to get help, or find support, or simply vent.. SAY THE MOST DEMEANING THINGS ABOUT THEIR HUSBANDS IN PUBLIC.  When my husband was a pastor, I tried to encourage our women to find someone to pray with when they had struggles in their marriage.. but I also reminded them that not every single thing that is wrong with your husband has to be told to every single person you meet.

Truth is...every person alive... every husband... every wife... is just a flawed human.  We are most like God when we choose to see Jesus in another person and not that person's flaws.

My dear husband of almost 45 years - Mr. Older - isn't perfect but you'll never hear me telling you why.

Think before you speak.  The reputation you save will be your own.
I love you,
Mrs. Older
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  1. I have lived this out. In the beginning of my marriage, I was not careful with my criticism. I was committed to being fiercely independent and letting all who would listen (including my sweetie) know that I could get along just fine without him. One day, I made such a comment in front of him and some friends from church on a youth trip. The looks and silence I got from them spoke volumes to me. I had broken his heart and embarrassed him and myself. God began teaching me that the health of my marriage required me to publicly honor him.

    I have also learned (more recently) that a difficult season is not an indication that the sky is falling. I have made the mistake of thinking things are worse than they are. This panic caused me to seek counsel and prayer from a place of accusation, and hurt my husband's reputation in the process. I gossiped about the man I love more than anyone else in the world because I was TERRIFIED. The enemy starts confusing us early in our lives. For me, it was to put men around me who were abusive and cruel. I think many women deal with this panicked mentality because of past abuses by men in their lives.

    The thing that changed my mind was some wisdom from a friend. She told me that real love is sharing life together. For example, caring when your spouse is sick or dealing with painful circumstances, being the first person to share news with, understanding and caring about each other's needs, and most of all knowing that neither of you is going anywhere. Having stressful seasons when one or both of you aren't very pleasant or kind doesn't negate that.

    I had believed the lie that if my sweetie was unkind to me (usually because of stress), it meant that he didn't love me and maybe even that he never had. This made every hardship seem like life or death to me and caused me to tell more than I should to more people than I should, though I had already learned not to publicly criticize him. I thank God for the trustworthy women in my life who pray with me, help me process my circumstances, and give me wise counsel. We women need relationships like that. But I am learning that it is imperative for me to use discretion and wisdom about how much and with whom I share about his weaknesses.