Thursday, August 30, 2012


In my "other" life I am a writer, songwriter, singer and meatball maker.  I speak pretty regularly at various women's conferences and retreats. I mention this...because... because of my magazine writing, it gives me an audience of hundreds of thousands. The target audience is primarily women, ages 25-55.  I get lots of emails on a regular basis from women throughout the U.S., Canada and some foreign countries.  I love hearing from my readers.  And so, because of this, I get a "pulse" of what women deal with that I wouldn't ordinarily have.  I am so thankful to the Lord for this honor.

I would never have guessed... but...women often tell me that one of the frequent triggers... that causes the explosion... of the toxic resentments that destroys the in-law relationship... IS THE HOLIDAYS.
More specifically, HOLIDAY TRADITIONS.  Now it isn't holiday traditions that are the problem.. it's the UNDERLYING year-long misunderstandings and resentments tha are the problem.  The day in and day out lack of love and respect that SURFACES during the holidays.

ULTIMATELY it is an issue of CONTROL.  Will Mother-In-Law Be In Control? Or will Son-in-Law? Will Daughter-in-law get her way? Or Father-In-Law? Is Sister-In-Law in charge? Or Brother-In-Law?  Who will have to change?  Who refuses to change? Which tradition remains?  Which tradition dies? For the next blog or two, I will be posting some of your emails concerning this.  Some funny - and not-so-funny - things that In-Laws do to have their way. 

I will do things backwards.  Before we discuss the HOLIDAY TRADITION problem...I'll give you the only answer.  When it comes to In-Laws..or any issue.. the six word Scripture below is YOUR answer and mine.  Ask yourself if you've done it. If you haven't.. you still have time to do it before the holiday season arrives:

 "Find out what pleases the Lord" - Ephesians 5:10

Mrs. Older


  1. Yes, this is the truth. I am anxious to read what others have to deal with.

  2. My daughter-in-law is a living nightmare. I know that Jesus loves her but I am having trouble not hitting her in the head. I am hoping your blog can give me some insight in how to deal with a thirty four year old woman who takes and takes and takes.