I have just discovered that the blogger platform is sending out OLD blogs from Mrs. Older... and I am taking that as a sign from God that I have been away from my Mrs. Younger's for too long. If any of you are still out there... HELLO AGAIN. IF YOU ARE STILL OUT THERE... take the time to write a comment below...???? thanks.
Today I would like to write to those of you who have discovered the unfortunate reality that you have been - all the years of your marriage - married to a being from another planet. He lives on earth, looks like a human and acts like a human - except for those unfortunate days when the curtain opens and you seen him for who and what he really is - an alien. A creature you will never understand. Someone who nods "Uh-Huh" when you speak and
uses the same two non-words ("Uh-Huh") when he answers you.
Marriage experts always say the same thing about communication in marriage - it's important.
What they don't tell you is how to speak to an alien so that he understands and how to hear an alien so that you understand.
Mrs. Older is not trying to convince you she is an expert at marriage..
But...I have come to understand "The Language of the Alien Man."
This advice does not apply to every man. This advice may apply to some men some of the time. Some men all of the time..well.. o.k... here goes.
Here's what I have observed...
1. He isn't really listening. On his planet, men are not taught to care that your sister's husband's sister's friend's cousin gave you a really dirty look at lunch earlier today... or that your boss suddenly seems to prefer "Jennifer" over you because you just have a "feeling" that she does... or that you aren't sure you look good in the new jeans you bought last week because a woman at church was kinda looking at you like you looked fat in them. Don't equate the level of his attentiveness to the level of his love for you. This is a mistake many women make. They assume that because they want to talk, Mr. Husband should WANT to listen. Sometimes he listens.. but most of the time..he is probably thinking.. "Why is she telling me this?" That would be his second question because his first question is.. instinctively....
2. "What can I do to fix this?" On his planet, a husband's role (yes, it's archaic to many women nowadays) but on his planet a husband wants to make things right for his wife. To fix the problem. He is a conqueror in his heart. He wants to be her hero. To make life good for her. When he realizes that most of the time you are talking to him about stuff he has no control to change.. he zones out. (See #1).
3. He doesn't really get you. He doesn't. He wants to. He tries to. Just as he thinks he is making you happy - you tell him that you aren't. Just as he thinks that taking you out for dinner is what you want to do - you decide staying home and watching a Hallmark movie is a better idea. All within eighty-seven seconds. One minute you are happy, the next minute you are crying. One second you tell him he's your hero, the next second he feels like a criminal. He has decided that YOU are the alien living on another planet... but is smart enough to know he should NEVER say so.
The solution?
Next blog.
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XO,
Mrs. Older
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