WHEN YOUR HUSBAND LIVES ON ANOTHER PLANET - PART TWO

In my last blog I promised to give you some ways to communicate with your husband when it feels like he is living on another planet...

I would like to tell you something that may surprise you:

I get emails from some of your husbands (shhhhhhh... I promised him I would not  tell)... and..sometimes he feels the same way about you...that you aren't really interested or listening...when he tries to speak to you. 

WHAT?  Yes.. Yup.. Uh-huh.  He does.

So then let me give you some advice.. which is free.. which you don't have to follow... which you have the right to reject and criticize.... and which I offer only because I am tired of seeing marriages get stale and cold and the people in those marriages getting the same way.  

1. Visit his planet every now and then. 

You can spend all your time talking about how he doesn't understand you, how he doesn't listen to you and..how he isn't interested in anything you say... and you might be 100% correct. 

So let me ask you: How's that working for you?   Is it causing him to reveal the deep and hidden secrets of his heart to you? Is he spending time at night asking you to tell him every single detail of your day - including every feeling you felt? Does he trust you enough to be honest with you when he is struggling with something?  Does he seem to listen better when you tell him over and over that he isn't listening?

Yeah, I didn't think so. 

Nagging a man makes him shut up and shut down.  Still - most of us are convinced it will help even though it never does.

Proverbs 14:1 says, "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands, the foolish one tears hers down."  I truly grasp how challenging it is to be a wife and mom and working mother and daughter in this current season of the planet. I understand how exhausted you are (and so does Jesus, by the way.. read Matthew 11:28-30.. which I think of as Jesus saying, "Wanted: Exhausted Women)... 

But being a husband and father and employee or employer and son isn't exactly a walk in the park for the modern man.  It can be terrifying to have to figure out a way to provide for a family.. even when Mrs. Younger is working.. And the competitiveness of our society can steal the soul of a man right out from under him... Planet Earth can be a scary place for Mr. Younger...and he isn't going to whine.. and complain.. but.. maybe some days HE needs someone to lean on.. ????  (BTW.. Matthew 11:28-30 has a corresponding title, "Wanted: Exhausted Men). 

IMHO - a wise woman understands that understanding her husband will help to explain why he sometimes doesn't understand her.  

A wise woman doesn't scold her husband for liking things she has no interest in, but does her best to see if it might be something she could be interested in also.

A wise woman doesn't berate a husband who is not succeeding.. but does what she can to be his "help."

A wise woman uses her hands to build her husband, her marriage and her home.. and does not... with a snarky attitude and mouth tear down the very marriage she claims she is wanting to save.

Dear Mrs. Younger.. you will not DIE if you simply visit HIS world every now and then.  If you do, you will hear his language and learn to speak it. 

PLEASE.. AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.. AS YOU READ THIS.. TRY TO KEEP YOURSELF FROM ASKING.. "But what about me? Why doesn't he learn to visit MY world and speak MY language????"  

It's one blog..
Take a deep breath.

I will get to you.

For now,

for one day, 

for ten minutes...

consider..

just consider...

visiting your husband's world. 

Today listen to him....instead of being offended that he isn't listening to you.

TRY.

IT.

Trust me.

TRY IT.

Please leave your comments.. see below.. you may post anonymously..  or email me at:

awordtothewives@gmail.com

XO,

Mrs. Older