So.... Mrs. Older goes in every once in a while and I get a GEL manicure.. which means that they give me a manicure and put this thick gel ... oh. you know what a gel manicure is. Well last Tuesday... I got one and by Friday two nails had peeled off. This was VERY unusual and has never happened before.
I went back to ask them to fix the two nails (willing to pay for it, of course).. and sitting in the seat next to me there was a pretty young thirty something mom. We talked.. and she was very interesting and seemed like she'd be so much fun to have as a friend. She asked what I did. I told her I write for Christian magazines.. and one thing led to another and she has.. in the last two years.. been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. She is angry at God for allowing it. I told her that I can understand. And that God isn't staying away from her just because she is staying away from Him.. or something to that effect. I think I understand WHY my manicure got messed up... God loves this woman with MS.
I told her about this blog and she found it on her iPhone. I asked where she went to church and she said that from the moment she got her diagnosis she stopped going to church. She cannot understand why God would allow this in her life. She has been through so much. (I don't know the details.)
I believe she is going to read this. I believe she will. Will you speak to her? I asked her to email me.
Dear Sweet Readers... we have all been through being confused by God and His ways.
Many of us have had extended periods of time where we were afraid to admit we were mad at God.
WILL YOU PLEASE... WILL YOU PLEASE... add your comments below and encourage her by telling how you felt.. and how God got you through.
PLEASE?
She is reading. She is broken. Will you be God's hands of healing? Will you tell YOUR story?
You can post anonymously. (If you click on the word "comments" below you will see others comments and then you can add your own)
Thank you so much,
Mrs. Older
I had a rare cancer when my four children were between the ages of 4 and 15. It shook me to the core, but God spoke comfort to me from the moment I got my diagnosis and prognosis. 50/50 that I would live to see my four year old turn five. He said "Fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name you are MINE. " I knew we would go through a lot in those days, but throughout it all Jesus offered me an invitation day by day to trust Him as I never had before, to lean on Him and know His strength when I was too weak to even pray.
ReplyDeleteThat experience taught me and my family to depend on Him deeply because He is God, who is sovereign and good even in the awful things.. because He is faithful and loves us more deeply than we can ever understand.
The choice when faced with an awful diagnosis is trust or despair. In trusting I found peace and rest and joy in knowing Him more. And He has given me life, life not only for now, but always with Him and in Him. If I had not had that experience of cancer and the deep grief and pain that came with it, I don't think I would know Him today as I do.. and I am thankful!
Thank you dear, sweet Laurie for taking the time to post your words. I know your heart and your words will be SUCH an encouragement to many. XO.
DeleteHere is what keeps me going -- I can only see today and with my limited knowledge, I think I know what is best for me. That is based on the right now. But God can see everything, time is immaterial. He knows what is best for my entire life. He is the author and has written a beautiful story, much more beautiful than I can even dream. And that story may require the most horrible storms in order to reveal the most perfect calm. I can never write a more perfect story than God can write, because I don't have the same vantage point. The truth simply is that I trust Him more than I trust me. The verse in Psalms says, Why art thou cast down O my soul? And why art thou disquieted within me? Hope thou in God... not in man, or yourself, or others. We people are fallible, but Hope Thou In God. So much easier to type than do. Baby steps. Paula
ReplyDeleteThank you Paula for your wise words. I am honored that you would post them. Your love for God is obvious and the fact that you would love others enough to take the time to encourage someone you don't even know is... is... like Jesus. Thank you.
DeleteWhen my younger sister died in an auto accident, I was suprised at how angry I became at God and the people at the church I attended. There were some people at the church who didn't like the pastor and his wife and they started to point out things to prove that they really didn't care and weren't really waht they said they were. So I didn't go back to the church and I hated the pastor and his wife for not reaching out to me. Two years later I ran in to a lady from the church at the grocery store and she hugged me hard and there were tears in her eyes. That day something softened in side me and I started to think about things more clearly. I had to be honest with myself and admit that the pastor and his wife and many church members did try to reach out to me but I wouldn't answer the phone and I wouldn't answer the door and I was going allaround town badmouthing the church. It was hard to admit it but they were two nice and loving people who had nothing to do with my sister's death. Then I had to tell God had mad I was at him. I read my Bible again and with God's help I began to see that no one is given a guarantee that bad things won't happen to them. I guess i just expected God to keep things from hapening to me. I saw that he wanted to help me. i am just saying to this woman that even if her life has been hard God is the only place you will find real comfort.
ReplyDeleteAlicia,
DeleteHow honest and transparent your words are. Thank you for posting. Your advice "God is the only place you will find real comfort" is the BEST advice EVER. Thank you.
I would say to her that I understand her confusion and so does the Lord. I would also say to her, if I could, to read the Bible. Read a Psalm or read Proverbs. Or just read the first four books in the New Testament. For me, when my husband died at only 33 years of age, I felt like God had abandoned me. He had not. He was there. Also I would tell her that I am going to pray for God to comfort her. I don't know who she is or where she lives but my women's prayer group is going to pray for her. Jesus is there sweet girl. He loves you. You may never understand why these hard times come, but if you will let Jesus love on you, you will find a true friend who will always get you through.
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this. Thank you for loving others enough to do so. Your words ring with maturity in the Lord. XO
DeleteGod understands your confusion and He loves you even if you blame him for what is happening to you. He isn't the one who causes sickness. He isn't the one who makes life difficult. He is the one who helps us through the difficult times. I think that anyone with any love at all can certainly understand that you might feel like God has let you down. He has not. He loves you. He really loves you. I am praying for you. Our women's prayer meeting will pray for you every week that God and his deep love for you will comfort you. I am sorry that you are going through suffering now. Jesus understands suffering. He will be your strength if you will lean on him.
ReplyDeleteCarol,
DeleteThank you for you comfort and your wisdom. Women of all ages need to hear what you said.
XO
When my parents both passed away within 14 months of each other from cancer, it shook me to my very core. My sister had died after complications of an auto accident 9 years before. The foundation that my very existence was based on was totally gone, my parents, my only sibling. Thankfully, I am married and my husband and friends were and continue to be a huge support. It was those moments when they weren't around, those moments of laying awake at night crying when I knew that I was not truly "not alone." If not for God, I don't know what I would have done. On my lonliest days, He is my strength, my everything. May He be the same for you.
ReplyDeleteMy wife's cousin has MS, and has put some inspiration in a web page/blog that may help:
ReplyDeletehttp://yourjourneywithms.com/
Jim,
DeleteThank you for this resource.
XO...
Dear God's Beloved, Beautiful, Wonderful, AMAZING YOU,
ReplyDeleteHey you . . . you there hurting and asking WHY - I have been exactly where you are. I am 28 and I too have MS. There isn't any shame in the honesty of a hurting heart - NONE. In fact, God says the truth shall set you free. I remember seeing red with God when I found out. But God and I have been really close for a really long time. I have learned that I can hide nothing from Him that He doesn't already know. He knows when I'm angry and I might as well just tell Him when I am.
He is after all I AM. Isn't that amazing? That I AM is ALL YOURS? It really doesn't matter how you've been living your life up until now. All that matters is today. God is always, always with you. No matter what you go through or face, what you do or say or think . . . God is faithful. Even when we are not! Thank God that He is faithful because I for one need some help! :)
When you have MS and you have kids it'is so tempting to think of what you can't do, the places you can't go . . .but no one can tell you what you can't do except you. There are so many things you can do! So many wonderful places, people and opportunities you are going to have because you have Ms. I've found my own to be an adventure. I am learning more every day to depend on God. It is really freeing to know that when my body fails me - God never does.
Are you control freak like I am? :) I really am. I have trouble with things I can't control. That's my problem. I never really controlled anything to begin with. On days me and my Ms are in a battle of who is in charge here . . . I realize God has long been in control. Neither of us are in control. God is in charge.
In the Bible all of the characters are SUPER flawed! They go through REALLY hard things. We think of them as inspirational. And yet in our lives when things go crazy bananas . . . we ask why did you let this happen? I did it too. And somedays, I still do it! But would the people of the Bible be so inspiring if they did not overcome? Their lives were adventurous! That's the kind of life that changes things . . . that changes people . . .that leaves a legacy!
Girl, it's hard. Ms is not for the faint of heart. But I bet that if you looked back on your life you can tell me SO many things you have been through and seen the other side. When I was a girl - I was abused. I was left home for weeks alone. My dad screwed our doors in so we couldn't get out. When we did run - we slept in our car behind churches - places my dad would never look. He shot himself, he shot my brother in law, he threw my mother in a trunk - and on that day? I was planning on faking sick to stay home. I was so depressed! I was only 11. But the bus was LATE . . . And JESUS He was RIGHT ON TIME.
I got on the bus. There were three bullets. I never saw mine. My life was kind of metaphoric . . .I took shelter behind God. And I still do. He is the rock of my salvation. And I wasn't a perfect girl. In fact, I was pretty unperfect in my teen years especially! You name it - I did it.
Now? I write for CBN. I write books for children and moms. God has given me a voice. Just think . . .if He can use somebody like me . . . just think at what He can do with you!!
Your MS is going to make you stronger. It's going to try you . . .but it won't beat you. You are going to come out of this like a champion. He will either heal us or help us. And both are miraculous. Jesus said "It is not the well who need the doctor but the sick." He was talking about Himself. He didn't need the religious . . . He came to call sinners like you and me. I think that's cool.
MS'ers like you and me usually live just as long as anybody else. We just live with MS. That's the only difference. We learn to do things different. We learn to rise above ordinary. And hey . . .I for one think ordinary is overrated anyway, right?
Praying for you. Believing for you. If God brought you through it - He will bring you through it!
I too have MS. I remember when I found out I saw red with God. The truth shall set you free - and telling God how I felt was the first step to the most honest and truly wonderful relationship I have ever had with the Big Guy. It's freeing to know when my body fails me - God never does.
ReplyDeleteHe is faithful. Thank God He is faithful! He will either heal us or help us - both are miraculous.
In the Bible all the characters are so flawed. They walk through SO MUCH. And yet we find them inspiring! We look at them and say God touched their life. And that's the kind of life you and me have been given. We have a platform. Because we are different. We have the choice to be our disease or have one. I choose to have one. :)
Some days I can't see straight, some days I can't walk right. But tomorrow could be better. Often it is. MS people like you and me normally live just as long as anybody else. We just live with MS. That's the only difference.
We find new ways to do old things. We take MS for the adventure it is. And don't worry about the things you can't do as well - there are things you do better than anyone else! Like love your babies, find new ways to have fun with them, find new ways to work together as a family. It is bonding and a journey that you don't want to miss!
It is hard somedays. Having MS is trying sometimes. But there are so many medicines out there to help your symptoms and prevent new ones. There are lots of therapies that aid in that. The what ifs are the scary part . . . but not with God. I have learned that in all things God is faithful. And I know He will be to you too. "Don't worry about tomorrow He says . . . baby, I got you."
Look at the BIG ways He JUST moved. Look at all the strangers SENT to you. My editor, probably a world away from where you are, sent me an email to check out this post. I write for CBN and write books for moms and kids. I do this with my MS. Nothing can stop God's plan for your life. It's a good plan!
Visit me sometime at my blog. I would love to chat with you. We are very close in age, both moms, both with MS. I come from a LONG line of BIG mistakes . . . so you can't tell me a thing I haven't already done. lol :) He loves you just where you are, for just who are you RIGHT NOW.
What a wonderful woman you are and how inspiring these words are. THANK YOU for caring enough about someone you don't know. I love you.
DeleteAw, thank you! Regina tells me wonderful things about you. :) She said you are a wonderful woman of God and I can see that with how your heart is touched by a complete stranger. It reminds of what God says about strangers . . . be careful - you could be entertaining angels! And I think you did Him proud. :)
DeleteMrs. Older, you should know that our Bible Study small group for wives meets every Thursday morning and our curriculum is your blog. There are 80 of us in our group at church and we LOVE you Mrs. Older. For the woman with MS, please know that God will prove himself to be a good God and not mean and even when things don't make sense he will carry you through if you will lean on him. Thank you again Mrs. Older and LOVE your manicure.
ReplyDeleteDear friend, Thank you for telling me that your Bible study uses my blog as your curriculum... I mean... REALLY? SERIOUSLY? How is that possible? And.. also..thank you for taking the time to give words of comfort and care. And say hello to the women in your study group for me.
DeleteJesus said, "I will NEVER leave you or forsake you." When my marriage fell apart, that was my hope. I know from personal experience the my God is BIGGER than my tantrums, he is BIGGER than my "I'm not speaking to You", he is BIGGER than major surgeries, He is BIGGER than infidelity. He is BIGGER than MS. Love you and praying, dear sister.
ReplyDeleteYou are a hero of our faith and thank you for your care and encouragement. Yes he is bigger than any problem we run in to.. thank you for reminding us.
DeleteDear Hurting Friend,
ReplyDeleteI pray that you will read this when it would be most helpful to you. And, I have prayed for you today. My heart is burdened for you as you begin to deal with the overwhelming news of your diagnosis and the death of your dreams for what you thought your future would be.
I have lived with chronic disease since I was a 22 year-old, newly engaged girl. It has been 23 wonderful, painful, joyful, confusing, anxious, peaceful, incredible, amazing years. For me, it began with a brain tumor followed by the diagnosis of a genetic disease that has caused many other very serious health issues. Since then, I have been given an additional diagnosis of yet another related but different disease, about 17 surgeries, four of which occurred within a two month period last year ending in a kidney transplant. Life is a continual process of trusting our All-Sovereign, Gracious Lord.
Everyone is different, but I wish that I had established a relationship with a licensed counselor earlier in the process of my journey. I have an amazing, servant-hearted husband, precious 12 year old daughter (in our family through adoption since I cannot carry a baby in my womb due to my diseases), supportive extended family, and sweet Christian friends, but I needed an "outsider" to voice my deepest, most anguished thoughts. I can not recommend this enough. It really helps to say the very real concerns (and sometimes irrational thoughts) to someone with nothing to gain or lose by whatever I say. I see her when there are serious issues, then only as I feel I need a "check-up."
I spent several years giving my Gracious Lord the "silent treatment." This was crazy...He knows my thoughts before I think them. It only further wounded me to pull away from the One who has given me everything in Christ. He is the Creator of the Universe and has made me exactly how He wants me to be in order to give Him glory. Psalm 139 verses 13-16 have been some of the most encouraging words to me:
"For you formed my inward parts;you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them."
He is not out of control, and illness is no surprise to Him. He created me with two life-threatening diseases and has ordained every one of my days before one of them came to be. I'm just living out the beautiful story of my life, one page at a time. I am being sanctified through my diseases, but I am not defined by my diseases.
Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Please put your hope and trust in God, not in your circumstances. I guarantee that you will have more good days than bad days if you trust in The Lord. It has not been easy, but it has always been worth the cost. I can honestly say that I would not forgo one moment of my suffering for what I have experienced with God. Nothing compares to that.
Prayers for you,
Martha
Thank you dear dear sweet Martha for your words of wisdom and love.
DeleteThank you Mrs. Older,
ReplyDeleteEvery single day brings me a nee & usally humiliating challenge. It's nearly unbearable. Not just my MS, so much more. Thank you fot your blog & the kind words of your sweet readers. It means so much!
Mrs. Broken.
Dear Mrs. Broken,
DeleteSometimes it isn't until we can look back at these moments that we understand that God never left us. You will make it. You will.
XO,
Mrs. Older
Psalm 68:5 " A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." I do not think I was angry at God, but I was very hurt and begged God for YEARS to help my understanding. My Mother abandoned me as an infant. That was actually a blessing that I recognized at a very young age considering what she did to others who remained in contact with her. My Dad is a very good man. He is like a true modern day mix of the old testament prophet Hosea and the new testament apostle Paul. The very fact that God gave me him as a father makes me more fortunate than anyone I know. I was not fatherless. I was and am motherless in a real world sense. This affects me every day of my life. I had my Dad and 8 brothers. I had only wicked women in my life and I grew to mistrust women altogether for a very long time. I got along with everyone in high school, but my close friends were always boys. Now I am married to a very good man and we have 6 beautiful healthy children. I have been blessed with 3 sons and 3 daughters. Although I love my children equally, there is something in me that struggles to be close to my girls. They are lovely and they would never detect a difference( I hope) but it is there. I love them so much, but there seems to be the tiniest distinction or wall of some sort. I have no close girlfriends. I do not know how to fit in with women or to be close to them because I was deprived of it all of my childhood. I pray for God to take this hurdle from me and make me whole in this area. The only direction I feel I have as a mother is what NOT to do. Everything is learn as I go and it effects everyone in my household.My Father did not cook much or often. When he did it was burnt and served with ketchup. He sure tried though! I grew up in a home that was never clean. I have had to learn to cook and clean which is rather intimidating as a young adult female. I would read things like Ruth, Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 and I was so hurt that I had no older woman to guide me. I desire deeply to be a woman as God intends women to be but it is an uphill battle everyday. It shows up in unexpected ways. I have set my mind and heart to being a good wife and mother. I read a lot of books and fall back heavily on Proverbs 31 and Titus 2. I read about women in the Bible to glean what I can. I have a very soft spot for Hannah ( Samuels mother) and Abigail ( David's wife). Last week when I was reading through Titus 2 I had my age old discussion with God. What about the motherless! Lord how am I to do what you ask me to do when I have had no one to model it?? Then, for some reason, just last week... it hit me like lightning. I do not have that older woman figure in my life but I do have what she is supposed to teach me in God's Word. All of the sudden this very basic truth came to me and I realized that in God's authoring of instruction to women he was in fact acting as a mother to the motherless. About 3 days later I found this wonderful blog.What a blessing Mrs. Older is to me, even an answered prayer you might say. I still have wounds but God is comforting me and answering prayers and he has helped me grow more than anyone deserves. My God, my husband and my children know they are loved and finally... so do I. Please be patient Mrs. Broken. I promise you good will come from your pain. (((hugs))) ~ Mrs. Peculiar Treasure
ReplyDeleteShauna,
DeleteThank you for posting this. It was the first thing I read this morning and am speechless that this blog has been a blessing to you. Thank you for telling me. And you can contact me directly any time by emailing me at:
awordtothewives@gmail.com
Someday, with your permission, I"d like to re-post your email as one of my blogs..
XO,
Mrs. Older
Thank you for your kind reply. You may use any of it that you see fit. Thank you again for being you. Your ministry is so important.
Delete