The secret here is that DOING what you DID at first will help bring back what you FELT at first.
The overriding truth I gleaned from this passage is that Jesus is NOT INTERESTED in a LOVELESS relationship with us....And it was such a "sin" to Him that group of people were simply going through the motions of relationship by doing what needed to be done when it needed to be done... but out of a sense of DUTY and not LOVE.
When marriage becomes two people doing a long list of what needs to be done... it isn't what Jesus intended for it to be.
What did you used to do Sweet Wife BEFORE all that OTHER STUFF of LIFE came on to the scene?
There is therefore now NO CONDEMNATION coming AT you from Mrs. Older... but.. simply a sincere attempt to get you to look UP from all the stuff you are doing and remind you... REMIND you... that the whole thing started with a guy you couldn't live without.
AND to TELL YOU something that every Mrs. Older knows NOW - the children grow up and move on. You may be a Mrs. Younger who is SURE that YOUR KIDS will ALWAYS be around.... but... if you did a good job of parenting.. they will be gone. They will grow up and move on. Yes. They. Will.
AND YOU WILL BE LIVING WITH THIS GUY YOU VAGUELY REMEMBER.
It isn't easy to act, look or feel like you did when you were a young, single woman with nothing but time on your hands... and maybe it isn't even POSSIBLE. But....I think that an email I received yesterday about my most recent blog says it better than I can say it:
Dear Mrs. Older,
Thank you for this latest blog about the beginning of our relationship. For some reason it really hit me in the heart. My husband and I have fallen in to a routine of all work and no play because we simply don't have any time for play. We bark out orders to one another, jump in one car or another to take one kid or another somewhere, go to one church event or planning committee meeting and then spend the entire weekend doing chores on Saturday and being in church all day Sunday. I miss my husband. I miss hearing his dreams, hearing his heart. I have put my focus so completely on the kids that I rarely focus on this man I loved so much twenty one years ago. Last night, after reading your blog, I asked him if he could remember how we used to be. We couldn't. I went and found some pictures from our dating days, and the two people in them were happy, and smiling, and clinging to one another. I cried about how we've allowed ourselves to become. And I was surprised that my husband got emotional also. We decided that in the coming weeks we are going to resign from some church committees, and to take up his mother's offer to watch the kids. My appearance has gotten sloppy and I am getting a manicure and a pedicure asap, and getting my hair lightened like it was when we met. I've get myself physically in shape, but I've let my priorities get fat and sloppy. I don't know if you know that your words are helping some of us to make changes that matter.
By the way, my husband and I are taking tomorrow off and spending the day together.
I love you Mrs. Older.
Thank you so much.
Ahhhhh........
In my highest dreams.. when I think about Writer Heaven.... I dream about getting those kinds of emails.
Thank you to that sweet Mrs. Younger for allowing me to print her email.
XO,
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Mrs. Older
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