BACK TO BASICS #4 - HAVING RIGHTS

Just today I saw an article online in which a well-known actress said that monogamy is not natural.  She has been married and divorced two times, has a child, and doesn't really enjoy motherhood all that much either.
Her premise is that it doesn't "feel natural" to be monogamous. And that's why so many people struggle with it. 

Well.. I guess I can see her perspective.  It doesn't feel natural. But.....What does "natural" feel like?

To an overweight person, natural feels like eating whatever you want whenever you want to. Does that person have a "RIGHT" to overeat? Yes.  But if she wants to be healthy she has to lay down the right to overeat.  

To an angry person, natural feels like lashing out when ever you want to lash out. Does she have the RIGHT to scream and yell and lash out.  Well, I guess so.  But if she wants to have any long-lasting relationships, she is going to have to give up her "right" to destroy the feelings of others.   

To a psychopathic person, murder seems natural. In that twisted mind, the violence is justified because of the anger inside.  If he wants to be able to live free.. he has to give up his perceived "RIGHT" to kill others.

To a liar, lying seems natural. I know people who can tell a lie without missing a beat.  Does she have the RIGHT to lie? Of course she does.  But if she wants to walk in truth as Christ commands, if she wants to have anyone who trusts her, she will have to lay down her "right" to lie... and stop.

We all have the RIGHT to be who we choose to be.  God allows every human alive the right to choose whatever we want to choose. He gives us the RIGHT not to care about Him or His standards.

What feels natural?  I'll tell you what doesn't feel natural. It doesn't feel natural to give up our rights.  Because in our fallen state... we care about ourselves first.  That is the truth.

Laying down our rights has to be a supernatural thing. It has to come from above.  It has to come from Jesus.... who.. willingly gave up HIS RIGHT TO STAY IN HEAVEN AND NOT GIVE ONE FLIP ABOUT YOU ME OR OUR BOUND-FOR-HELL ETERNITY.  How about that?  How about if He didn't say, "nevertheless not MY WILL, but YOUR WILL BE DONE."

We would have had NO RIGHT to approach God.
We have have had NO RIGHT to plead for mercy.
We would have had NO RIGHT to be called children of God.

How about we ask ourselves as we struggle with marriage, "What is God's will in this situation?" What a unique idea, no?
Yes.

At conferences, through my writing, through this blog, I hear from hundreds of women... hundreds.. and a large percentage of them are unhappy in and with their marriage and their husband.  "He isn't this. He isn't that. He shouldn't do this. He should do that." I guess it comes as a shock when I suggest:

Ask not what your spouse can do for you

Ask what you can do for your spouse.

Marriage is the place where you choose to prefer someone else.
Does it feel natural?
No. 
Being selfless doesn't feel natural to selfish creatures.

Stop thinking about yourself.

All.

The.

Time.

I did not say.. "NEVER PUT YOUR NEEDS FIRST."

I did not say.. "NEVER THINK ABOUT YOURSELF"

I am simply suggesting... suggesting.. sweet Mrs. Younger.. that EVERY NOW AND THEN..

EVERY THIRD THURSDAY?  EVERY FOURTH MONDAY??

Don't think about yourself 

ALL THE TIME.

ALL.

THE.

TIME.

The complaining.

The criticism.

The great discontent with the man you married.

Give it a rest, every now and then.  

Feel free to email me at:  awordtothewives@gmail.com Love you,
Mrs. Older