On April 1st, we got the news that her pain was not just a gallbladder attack but it was a terminal disease... and she would be gone from this earth sooner than any of us had imagined. For the past eleven weeks, I have been at her home caring for her. And just being close to her. Watching her face. Looking in to her green and beautiful eyes. Cherishing every single second with her. Kissing her. Hugging her. Telling her every word I could think of to tell her. Mostly, "I love you, Mom." I have not been able to write this blog because my heart was with my mom. I hope y'all understand.
The Lord was good to me and He allowed me all those weeks to get used to her home going. It was a very long goodbye and I am so thankful for it. I know God decides the days of our lives. I am thankful to Him that when He chose to take her home, He had mercy and her last weeks of life were not painful.. and her passing was peaceful... as she quietly breathed her last breath. Our whole family was gathered by her bedside... I was holding her hand.. my son was holding her other hand... My brother.. his wife... my beautiful daughter-in-law, Mr. Older and our three grandchildren were all there. We sang. Read Scripture.
My dad... who is 91 and still alive... is bedridden and was not able to be there.. but was in another room... Praying for her.
As with most people who have lost their mom, I now know that no on can ever fill the HUGE HOLE in my life that exists where my mother used to be.
She loved the Word of God. Every morning, she would spend time with the Lord and her Bible. Every day, she would write down a particular verse that stood out to her... and write that verse on an index card. Invariably.. that exact Scripture was one that God used to encourage someone she spoke to that day.
I have boxes of these index cards. They are more precious than gold to me. My mom writing God's Word.
Three days ago, I was very sad. I know my mom is in the presence of the Lord. If anyone was in love with Jesus it was my mother. I just miss her. I am not despondent. I know she lived a long, happy and HOLY life.
BUT.. a daughter misses her mom.
I got in to my car three days ago and that card pictured above... with that verse was sitting in the middle of the passenger's seat. I KID YOU NOT. I asked my husband if he put it there. He did not.
That verse is God's instruction to Mrs. Older about how to find the strength to mourn the passing of Mrs. Even Older. I will wait for Him.
How could my mom have known on the day she wrote that verse that God would use the verse and her card to comfort her own daughter as she deals with her mother's passing?
I don't have any explanation for how that card got there. The boxes of those cards are in my house far, far away from the car. The card was there. It encouraged and continues to encourage me.
Thank you Lord for taking the time to be sure that an older woman who is sad to lose her mom has been reminded in the most unusual way that YOU will strengthen me.. and I need to believe that and wait on YOU.
Appreciate your prayers as I walk through this never-before-season of living without Mom.
XO,
Mrs. Older
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