THIS IS PART TWO OF OUR GUEST BLOGGING HUSBAND. THE NEXT FEW BLOGS FROM HIM WILL BE AS I INTERVIEW HIM. "INTERVIEW WITH A HUSBAND". HE HAS SOME EXCELLENT INSIGHT. READ THIS..AND COMMENT IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND? THANKS. HIS COMMENTS FOLLOW:
We get married because we have decided to love this person, to be who God made us to be for them, to fulfill a role as husband/wife for them, because it makes God smile when we live as we were created to live. We do not get married because we want to have sex, or because we are afraid of being alone/lonely. We do not get married to be saved from being single, or for what this other person can do for me or how they make me feel. Those are a small part of why we get married. If they are the main reasons....then your levels of disappointment are going to be high. Just like if we are following Jesus because we don't want
To go to hell.
Our roles are very simple in a marriage: Men, love as I have loved you, provide as I have provided for you, protect her/make her feel safe as I do for you, and be the leader in her life as I guide you. Make her feel like she is the most precious, valuable, delicate, beautiful person on this planet.
Simple.
Men, we simply reflect what God is doing for us.
The problem is.....we cannot give what we are not receiving. So if a husband is not treating his wife as God has asked, then said husband may be going to church, reading his Bible, and talking a big talk, but he is obviously not seriously pursuing a love relationship with our creator.
If he were - he would be seeking healing and wholeness from his past (family of origin issues), so that he could better love you and all those around him and those he comes into contact with. He would understand that his life is not his own. He has given it to Jesus and lives only to fulfill the roles God has for him and he does so by choice, not because he feels like he has to in order to stay in God's good graces. This is not rocket science. We will give only what is welling up on the inside of us. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
Women, vice versa for you. The same principles apply, although your role is a little different. Respect, as I respect you. Affirm, nurture and receive. Look them up and study them if you are unsure what they mean, but the same holds true for you, if you are in a healthy, loving relationship with God, you will be pursuing this role.
Will we get it right everyday? No. It's journey. Will it be easy? No. It's a journey. Will we feel like doing it? Bo. It's a journey.
We keep the destination always in front of us and God's grace/mercy, which are new everyday, will keep us moving forward.
Let the comments commence."
In a perfect world this is good advice. We live in a fallen world. I don't have these feelings toward my wife. I love her but not the way this man describes it.
ReplyDeleteI received this comment via email from another husband.. commenting on the comment posted above. He wrote:
ReplyDelete"I find it very interesting and not just a little bit funny that the first comment is from a man who apparently agrees with the wisdom, but is quick to make an excuse as to why he is not pursuing mature masculinity (we live in a fallen world) . He admits he does not have these feelings towards his wife, although he loves her (????) in his own way. I think my point is made.
Either this man simple does not want to or care to reach for mature masculinity in the way God calls us to or "the church" is really failing in an epic way to teach the truth of God's word.
We do live in a fallen world, but is that not one of the main reasons Christ died on the cross? To establish a higher authority over "the god of this world", so that we would be set free from slavery and know victory in our lives!! So that we could and would live the fullness of life he has created for us. To work out our salvation from slavery by renewing our minds and be the new creations He says we are. So that we could step into the role of husband he designed for us and partner with him in loving our wives the way they deserve to be loved as a daughter of God.
Or maybe this is just indicative of our culture today, we want to do things our own way. The bible is outdated or just meant for a perfect world, not the one we live in."
I wish my husband would read this. And I wish he would love me this way. It would be easy to respect a husband who loves me so purely.
ReplyDelete