"DEAR GOD, DO YOU HATE ME?" - Naomi

NAOMI'S DIARY EXCERPTS:

Dear God,

Do You hate me?  Do You take pleasure in seeing me sob? What have I done that's so bad that You refuse to help me? That You seem to be focused on destroying me and my family?  Do You have a reason for taking my husband away from me? Have I done something to make You so annoyed at me that You also took my two sons?  Why? You are so kind and giving to everyone around me.. so...Why do You hate me? Where are you, God?

Dear God,

Ruth, my daughter-in-law refuses to go back to her gods and her people.  What am I supposed to do with this girl? How can I help HER when I need someone to help me? And by the way, that "Someone" could be you, God, but You refuse to help me.  Here I am....I am back in Bethlehem, once again, and it's still a nothing town.  I am a nothing widow, in a nothing town, I have nothing and I know nothing.  I am destitute.  Why do You hate me, God? Do You?  Hate me?

Dear God,

Thank You for Ruth. She is showing such love for me. She is caring for me.  The people in Bethlehem are shocked at how this daughter of Moab, this stranger, is caring for me like a son would do.  Maybe Bethlehem is not so bad after all.  Maybe You might do something good in Bethlehem? Though we are the least of the least?

Dear God,
As You know......Things are looking up.  Ruth has found a field to gather grain from our relative, Boaz. He is being kind to her, and every day she is bringing home enough food for us to eat.  We are not starving and it's because of the wonderful love of wonderful Ruth. Thank you God that at least I am not starving anymore.

Dear God,
Boaz is going to marry Ruth. She followed my instructions and he responded.  He told her that he has been so impressed with her reputation among the townspeople for how she cares for me.  Dear God, Boaz is wealthy. Ruth will be cared for. And so will I.  God....I feel like living again.  Thank You for not giving up on me, Wonderful and Loving God. Thank you.  
Maybe You don't hate me?  
Maybe You love me? Maybe you can resurrect dead lives? Dead dreams? Dead hearts?  Can You? Maybe You have a plan that I cannot see?  Maybe it's a good one?  I am afraid to hope again, to love again........to laugh again.  Can I trust You? Are You good? Or not?

Dear God,
You are a good God.  A loving God.  A Holy God.  You are good no matter what life brings.  I see that now.  And speaking of seeing....have You seen my grandson, Obed?  Do you see how beautiful he is?  Can You feel the joy I feel inside?  Your plan was a good one, though the tears were not Your doing.  We made some bad choices, and we suffered our own consequences.  So....Thank you God for allowing me to see this child, to kiss his cheeks, to watch him grow. I understand now that sometimes it seems like You have abandoned us, but You never do.  Sometimes I cannot understand Your ways, but I understand that You are always close to the brokenhearted and to those who are crushed in their spirit.  You long to be merciful.  You long to show kindness.  You long for us. You long for us. You love us.

Thank you so very much for all your wonderful blessings to me and my family,
Your daughter,
Naomi

Epilogue:  In case you don't know it, Obed was the grandfather of King David, who was the ancestor of The King of Kings - Jesus.  I'd say God had a plan for Naomi that was so great that she would NEVER had imagined how much God LOVED her.

I'd also say the same thing about you.  God has a plan that is so much greater than where your life has you today.  Trust Him. Trust Him. Trust Him.  If you don't trust Him, tell Him you don't and ask Him for the faith to TRUST HIM.

No matter how desolate your life may be today......GOD BRINGS DEAD THINGS BACK TO LIFE. It's called "resurrection" -  and only God can do it.  Just TRUST HIS LOVE.  Talk to Him. He loves you. He loves you.  He sent Jesus who came so that you might have LIFE and have it ABUNDANTLY... JOYOUSLY...

God loves you. So much.
And so do I,
XOXO,
Mrs. Older