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So..he asks her again what is wrong and she says, "Nothing", but even a blind person can sense that something is wrong. Really wrong.
So.. he asks her once again, "Honey, please tell me. Honey, what's wrong?" and once again she lies and says, "Nothing."
(What is the point in this routine dear Mrs.? I don't understand your battle plan here. If the guy wants to know what's wrong, why don't you just tell him? Only God can truly see your heart. Your husband is not God. Have you forgotten? I am sad to say that so many women use The Silent Treatment as a means of punishing their husbands. I could never comprehend what it accomplishes. No one says what's wrong and so no one knows what is wrong. This is wrong. This is not right.. anyway...)
Over time. this is how they do disagreement - The Silent Wife Giving The Silent Treatment To Her Husband Who Cannot Read Her Mind.
And then... one day......he stops asking.
Because, why bother?
She could have said.. "I really wish you knew me enough to know what's wrong without having to ask me."
But she doesn't say that.
She just keeps saying "Nothing".
Wives who use The Silent Treatment are playing games with their marriage. He will probably NEVER figure out the game The Silent Wife is playing when she plays Silent Treatment.
He may never figure out that she wants him to take the time to figure it out. To figure her out.
He may never understand that she wants him to pay attention to her.
Understand her.
The Silent Wife doesn't see herself as a liar.
But when she says "nothing" is wrong... when something IS wrong, then she is lying. Yes? Yes.
It's wrong to lie.
There is no love in lying.
"Love.......rejoices with the truth."
Give the guy a break. Tell him what's wrong. Let him have a chance to make it right.
XOXO,
Mrs. Older
F.Y.I. my email address is
awordtothewives@gmail.com
I am a husband. Thank you for writing this. I know my wife reads this.
ReplyDeleteWe have been married for three years and I do this all the time. I never heard or read anyone addressing this before. It is being manipulative in a subtle way I now clearly see. God let me read this. Thank you for writing it.
ReplyDeleteI grew up watching my mother do this repeatedly over & over to my father. You are completely right. It doesn't take the marriage anywhere. Now as a newlywed myself of 8 months, I catch myself giving that punishment to my husband. I am so thankful you addressed this. Its a daily battle for me to change the habits that I watched & learned growing up. I care & love my husband so much I remind myself everyday to not do this. Thanks for writing this.
ReplyDeleteThanks for thanking me. Comments like yours make Mrs. Older feel like she's floating on air.
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