WHY? I DON'T KNOW WHY.

WHY, WHY.. does the thigga-ma-jiggy that sends this blog out via email to those of you who have signed up.....why.. why.. why does it choose - EVERY NOW AND THEN -  to pick one that I wrote a month or two ago - and send it again... like it did two days ago?? 
I don't know why.  I am going to chalk it up to Divine Providence and the Holy SpirIt...because whenever it happens someone always writes to say, "Yesterday's blog was EXACTLY what I needed to read yesterday.."  except... I wrote it and sent it out three months ago...so go figure.
Why does it happen?
I don't know why. 
Years ago... answering a "Why?" question with an  "I don't know why?"  answer  would have given me spiritual and emotional hives. 

My limited experience with people - and with myself - is that we think if we can understand WHY something has happened, we will understand HOW to deal with WHAT has happened.

HONESTLY?  It's not the questions that drive us batty.. it's the lack of answers. The seeming silence of heaven.  Right in the Garden of Eden, humans have believed the LIE that KNOWLEDGE will bring peace.  It doesn't. It just brings more knowledge. (which isn't a bad thing.. but....)
Only in recent years...as I have been morphing from a Mrs. Younger to a Mrs. Older have I finally understood the secret to living with peace, and with joy, and with unanswered questions. 
I was wasting time trying to know Why.
I should have been using my time trying to know Who.
When I was younger.. I felt that God owed me answers.. I expected Him to explain Himself to me. Which was proof I didn't really know Him as deeply as He wanted me to.  He had answers. He wasn't giving them.
Why?
I don't know why.

I just assumed when I went through something that didn't seem fair, or I didn't understand, or was painful.. eventually... months later, or years later, or decades later... He would come and explain to me why He allowed what He allowed.   I'd understand WHY He allowed WHAT He allows.
Because God does know the answer to every "why" question.
Sometimes... He tells us why.
And sometimes... He doesn't.
Why?
I don't know why.
Through His Word.  He clearly gives me the pathway to peace.
He wants me to know WHO He is so completely - to allow the Holy Spirit to REVEAL the deep, deep love of God - that once I know Who He is - and HE IS LOVE ITSELF... then I will always REST in that LOVE... 

Dear Wife.. It doesn't matter what your questions are today -  they will all be answered if you will believe me.. NO.. believe God and trust that HIS LOVE for you is so OVERWHELMING that no matter what happens.. HE IS THERE...  He wants you to actually KNOW.. and FEEL.. and walk in THAT LOVE. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal God's heart to you.  And the process will begin.. It was a miracle of the Holy Spirit in my life... to be able to grasp..."He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.  He gave His Son so He could have me.  He loves me, He loves me! " 
Why?
I don't know why.

XOXO,
Mrs. Older.
"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge —that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (Eph. 3:14-19)