MOMMY MACHINE - HOW TO BE A PERFECT MOTHER

It still haunts me to this day and my son is a grown man with a family of his own.  When he was only 9 months old, my husband and I were invited to a church camp meeting.  We arrived at this meeting late in the hot summer afternoon.  It was a gorgeous day in the hills of Pennsylvania.  It would be a time of music, worship, singing, and preaching.   It was a reunion with friends we hadn't seen in a long time.  I was so happy to be there.
The only glitch is that my nine month old son WOULD NOT STOP CRYING.  I picked him up from his stroller... sang to him.. carried him... bounced him on my knee...checked his diaper.. changed his diaper., checked his temperature, checked his teeth, checked everything that could possibly be checked.. but... HE WOULD NOT STOP CRYING.   He was a GOOD BABY and he had NEVER been so fussy.   I was... I will admit... annoyed.  I was the victim. The martyr mother. I thought, "Of ALL the days he has to fuss.. why TODAY?"  Finally... finally.. finally.. he fell in to a crying induced sleep in his stroller and I had fun the rest of the evening.

Until, we got back to our car at about 11 PM.  And there, TO MY UTTER HORROR... sitting on the back seat of our car was my son's baby food jars. His dinner.  His dinner that I neglected to feed him because I was so busy being "social". What kind of mother gets annoyed at her hungry child? What kind of mother forgets to FEED HER KID HIS DINNER? It is the most basic Mommy job of all - FEED YOUR KID.
He couldn't talk yet.  He couldn't say, "Mom, I'm starving. The reason I'm fussy is because I haven't had a morsel of food since lunch.  Could you please stop socializing with your friends, and walk back to the car and get my baby food jars?  Could I please eat my plums? And my smashed up in a jar green beans?  And that other glop in the big jar that says "Chicken Fiesta"?  Could I have my box of raisins? Please, Mom? Please?"  But all he could do was cry. And hope his mother knew why he was crying.  Poor baby. Mean Mommy.   I have actually asked my adult son to forgive me.  He laughs, "Mom.. stop it. I don't even remember."  That's true.  But I do.

I wish I could say that was the last Mommy Mistake I made.. but.. I cannot.  I have made a million Mommy mistakes.  Some of them funny, some of then not-so-funny.  Looking back there are TEN million things I wish I could do over.   Ninety million things I wish I could undo. But I cannot.  My son has turned out o.k.  He loves God, his wife, his kids.....and yes... his mom.  Go figure.

Dear Mommy... there is no pressure that can wear down a Mommy's heart greater than the pressure of trying to be the PERFECT MOTHER.   There is no such a thing as a perfect mom because there is no such thing as a perfect human.  You are only human.
The biggest mistake a mommy can make is believing that a mommy should never make mistakes.  FORGIVE YOURSELF for being foolish enough to think you can be perfect. Mistake-less.  
Nothing turns a woman in to a robotic, dead-inside Mommy Machine more than being disappointed in yourself for not being perfect. 

LOVE COVERS A MULTITUDE OF MOMMY MISTAKES.  
Trust me. I know. 

XOXO,
Mrs. Older
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