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"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."  Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)
SADLY... SADLY... SADLY... many of us do not heed this warning until it is too late.  We deceive ourselves in to believing that a little resentment, a small little anger, some tiny envy, a seed of selfishness, some good old fashioned rebelliousness won't matter because no one can see it.  But the Bible says that what you DO is always a direct result of what you ARE INSIDE. So then....
"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your MARRIAGE."   I have never counseled a couple in crisis - NEVER - and found that both parties had hearts of love, acceptance and forgiveness toward one another.  I have never seen a marriage self-destruct when both people were diligently praying for LOVE. I cannot remember one situation where a marriage was in trouble and both people were being diligent to prefer one another, to submit to one another, to love one another as Jesus loves them. 
What I have found is that slowly, without anyone noticing, one or both people become self-absorbed. It can be because of disappointment, grief, or struggle. The focus is on "ME, ME, ME" without regard to what that's doing to the "US, US, US" of marriage.  When we focus on anything but the PROMISES and FAITHFULNESS of GOD.. we are focused on the wrong thing. 

Lest you think "Mrs. Negative" wrote this column today, I want to tell you that the good news is that you CANNOT - in your own strength - guard your own heart.  That's good news?  Yes... because... God knows us better than we know ourselves.  It will take a nuclear sized explosion inside for us to be the kind of people we need to be.  AND HE GIVES THE POWER - HIS VERY HOLY SPIRIT - TO CHANGE YOUR HEART.  
How?  First admit to yourself and to God that your heart needs work. Then admit that you don't know how to do the work on your own. Then tell Him that you are willing to allow the Holy Spirit to change you. 
Then...relax... go eat a bagel... have a cup of coffee.. praise God... love God... read The Bible... go to church... love others... and just keep telling God that you WANT to be fixed inside... and HE WILL DO THE FIXING.   In His Time.

Yes...HE WILL.
OK... I love you all.
AND...
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